As even your girlfriend will tell you, there’s no period like the NFL trade deadline. This year, that spooky time of the month comes on Oct. 31, and as always, there are plenty of teams looking to shake up their rosters. Which NFL players are on the trade block? Who’s most likely to be traded before Tuesday’s deadline?
Here’s a fresh pile of what A Fly On The Ball’s locker room sources chewed out, including NFL players guaranteed to be traded in 2023.
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New York Giants Trade Andrew Thomas to Arizona
Kyler Murray is set to return to his tiny little bird’s nest as the Arizona Cardinals’ franchise QB after tearing his ACL, which means protection will be a priority. Meanwhile, the New York Giants will gladly take whoever they can find to collect coins as a turnstile willing to wear blue for a few hours a week. Even if that includes waking up retired players off the couch and plugging them into their starting lineup.
Andrew Thomas was one of the best left tackles in the NFL a season ago, but he doesn’t seem interested in playing for a team that’s averaging the fewest points per game in NFL history (17-game era). We’re hearing the Giants are eager to try and finagle another slot receiver for their franchise left tackle.
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Justin Jefferson Leads NFL Trade Candidates
The Minnesota Vikings may not have the horns to pay Justin Jefferson the big bucks. He’ll likely look to take his talent elsewhere, probably to a team that is willing to embrace the Griddy. Maybe the Jacksonville Jaguars rebrand as the Jacksonville Griddys, or Roger Goodell takes over and gets football kickstarted in London by making Jefferson the face of the pond.
The Vikings aren’t going anywhere this year, and any armchair QB will tell you how the franchise should prioritize landing a long-term solution to replace Kirk Cousins by using Jefferson as bait. Let’s be real: Cousins, with his newfound swag, is what makes Jefferson special anyway. It’s time to sell high and see if you can blackmail a team into offering a first-round pick for the record-breaking receiver. It’s not like the Vikings can’t just draft his replacement anyway. They’ve done it three times with Diggs, Jefferson, and now Addison.
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Joe Burrows Trade Helps Cincinnati Bengals Rebuild
Man. The Joe Burrows era was fun. Burrows made it to a Super Bowl in his second season, quicker than any other No. 1 pick in NFL history. But the Cincinnati Bengals have already peaked, and Burrows isn’t getting any healthier as he continues to age.
The Bengals could jump on what’s expected to be a deep pool of QB talent in the 2024 NFL Draft class, saving team owner Mike Brown millions of dollars in the process. Maybe then Cincinnati’s receivers would stop complaining about the team’s scoring attack.
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Deion Sanders: Coach Prime Shows Kids How to Ball
There’s one name A Fly On The Ball is hearing that many fans have forgotten about. Deion Sanders is currently coaching the Colorado Buffaloes, but he has Sundays free.
Coach Prime is said to have interest in coming out of retirement to “Show these damn kids how to play ball.” Better yet, when he’s not handling all kickoffs, punts, and shadowing No. 1 receivers, Primetime can still double as a coach on the sidelines. There’s nothing holding this Hall of Famer back from achieving greatness again, and we know it won’t happen in college.
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Nick Bosa Gets Chance To Win in Pittsburgh
It’s become clear that the San Francisco 49ers aren’t serious about winning. They’ve done everything they can to avoid having a legitimate starting QB, and now Nick Bosa is paying the price. But Bosa wants nothing more than to play for a franchise that doesn’t accept losing as the standard, like the Pittsburgh Steelers, who haven’t had a season below .500 since 2003. T.J. Watt and Mike Tomlin are some of the best competitors the game has ever seen, and Bosa deserves a chance to see what greatness looks like.
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Chicago Bears Land Franchise QB With Trade for Bryce Young
Newsflash: the Chicago Bears botched their QB situation again. But they can fix their future by packaging Justin Fields, D.J. Moore, and both of their first-round picks in the 2024 NFL Draft to Carolina for Bryce Young. We’ve heard the Panthers are open to offers for Young since he doesn’t know how to win an NFL game, and the Bears have just what they need to rebuild the depth this Carolina roster sorely lacks.
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New York Jets Pour Sauce Gardner on Buffalo Bills
The New York Jets’ very slim Super Bowl window sealed shut when Aaron Rodgers tore his Achilles during a bad trip. Everyone but Robert Saleh knows it, but no one has the balls to admit this to the coach’s face.
Knowing their future won’t get brighter any time soon, the Jets would be wise to let Sauce Gardner join a franchise ready to compete for a Super Bowl, and the Buffalo Bills are the most natural fit. There shouldn’t be any beef with this one.
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Justin Herbert Avoids Awkwardness Later With Trade Now
Odds are Justin Herbert won’t stick around in a Chargers uniform for long, much like Drew Brees. Instead of giving Bolts fans hope each season, it would be much easier to rip the Band-Aid off now and trade the groovy QB to the highest bidder.
It’s not like the Chargers are competitive now, so there’s no downside in trading the 6-foot-6 cannon-armed QB with mobility. What better way to get Brandon Staley the pieces he needs to get his defense to work? This is genius.
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Micah Parsons Lands With Contender
Aaron Donald won three Defensive Player of the Year awards, and there are years when he could have taken home the MVP Trophy too. Micah Parsons is the modern-day Aaron Donald, but the Dallas Cowboys aren’t a championship organization.
It’s only a matter of time before that reality sets in, where Parsons demands a trade. Contending teams like the Houston Texans are expected to have some level of interest in a Parsons trade. The Cowboys’ best player not named Dak Prescott, Parsons deserves better than what Jerry Jones can offer.
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Kansas City Chiefs Grow Tired of Travis Kelce Distraction
This Travis Kelce-Taylor Swift stuff is getting too hot and heavy for Andy Reid’s liking. Let’s be honest: the Chiefs have long put up with acts from Kelce that Patrick Mahomes would NEVER do, such as being on a TV show for an entire season. But really, there’s just too much off-the-field stuff from Kelce, and the whole Swiftie bit is a big distraction.
Meanwhile, other teams would gladly try and boost stadium attendance by daring Swift to plant her posse in their VIP suite by trading for Kelce. The fact that he also has some ability as a slightly above-average tight end is only a bonus and likely the only reason the Chiefs will be able to rob a team of a late-round pick swap to take on this headache.
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Buffalo Bills Reshape Offense Without Josh Allen
What’s Josh Allen’s problem? He has this Superman complex where he has to put the entire Buffalo Bills herd on his back each and every year, and it’s become clear the team is growing tired of his schtick.
The NFL trade you won’t see coming is Allen being shipped out of town so the Bills can finally build the roster they need to compete with Mahomes and Burrows. Bills Mafia deserves a chance to climax too, and with the trade haul Allen brings back, soon everyone will be.
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Miami Dolphins Sell High by Trading Tyreek Hill
Tyreek Hill is off to a historic start. Players used to target a 1,000-yard season as the benchmark for a strong year, but Cheetah is set to top the 1K mark on Sunday in his eighth game of the season.
What better time to sell high than right now if you’re the Miami Dolphins? They already have Jaylen Waddle anyway, and trading Hill would bring back more long-term value, possibly even more running backs for coach Mike McDaniel.
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Jalen Hurts Gets a Fresh Start in Green Bay
The Jalen Hurts destruction has begun with the Philadelphia Eagles. In the offseason, we’ll likely see the NFL ban the tush push, taking away the Eagles’ top offensive play. Obviously, this will drastically reduce the effectiveness of Hurts, who’s been squatting as if he’s been training his entire life for a weasel like Nick Sirianni to come along and toy with the NFL rulebook. Once the tush push ban begins, the days of Hurts being an NFL starter will end.
But we know Howie Roseman. He’s always one or two steps ahead. He’s not just going to bend over while Commissioner Goodell fucks him, right? No, Roseman will get wise and trade Hurts to the Green Bay Packers, who, shockingly, don’t have the second coming of Bart Starr, Brett Favre, and Aaron Rodgers mixed into one Jordan Love. The Packers are desperate for competent QB play, and Hurts will provide that, for at least the rest of this season.
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Brett Favre Finds Redemption in Vegas
For whatever reason, we haven’t seen Brett Favre come off the injured list yet this season. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of vacancies from the New York Jets and Giants, Green Bay Packers, Denver Broncos, and Cincinnati Bengals. Yet, maybe Favre doesn’t feel wanted enough.
Remember, it took a full Vikings ship to recruit Favre out of the soybean fields, where he was probably poised to become the greatest teacher in Mississippi state history. Alas, this world will never know what lessons we’re missing out on from not having Favre put his teaching degree to good use.
But it wouldn’t surprise any of the league sources at A Fly On The Ball if the Las Vegas Raiders offer Favre redemption in a chance to resurrect their season. There may not be another gunslinger who can fire on all cylinders with Davante Adams, and Aaron Rodgers isn’t available this week, so why not add another former Green Bay Packers legend?
What better destination than Vegas for Favre? He just needs a place stuck in the middle of nowhere where he can focus entirely on football, and since there’s nothing else to do in Vegas, the Raiders are the perfect landing spot for the Hall of Fame QB. Plus, Favre could probably use the work.
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Harvey Ballbanger loves to shoot the shit. If he were bigger, he’d probably be a baller. Hell, if he hadn’t gotten a wing clipped, he’d be Ballbangin’ for the NFL right now, messing around with triple-doubles in his downtime in the NBA. But that isn’t the case. Instead, Ballbanger’s letting it all hang out, delivering fresh piles, from one throne to another.
