Zach Wilson almost shocked the world with a near victory over the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday Night Football. Wilson finally showed some spunk, looking like the former No. 2 overall pick he was drafted to be. But no one saw the New York Jets QB’s biggest play of the night, which actually came after the game ended.
A Fly On The Ball in the Jets’ facility reports Wilson stepped foot in the film room this week, knowing a special guest would be in the house. Despite the extra preparation, Wilson still had pre-game jitters thanks to a heightened desire to perform for what he hoped to be his new dime piece.
Did you think we were talking about Taylor Swift? She’s just not Wilson’s type. He’s never been a Swiftie, plus Wilson prefers a bit more seasoning on his chalupa.
Instead, Wilson had his eye on Travis Kelce’s mom, Donna Kelce, who attended the Chiefs-Jets game from a private suite at MetLife Stadium. If you look closely, you can see Wilson winking at her after each completion.
Despite finishing with the highest QB rating of his NFL life and having a career-high 28 completions, Wilson couldn’t perform at the game’s climax, dropping his balls with a premature ejaculation. Once the Jets lost, Wilson immediately went up to the box, seeking his golden opportunity.
Yet, Wilson’s hail mary fell incomplete, with Kelce’s mom deflecting the signal-caller’s attempt to get her digits while pointing to his poor completion rate. Donna was overheard telling the 24-year-old Utah native that she’s “not even sure he’s an NFL QB.” It was a humbling moment for Wilson, with teammates rushing to console him to try and lift his spirits.
Related: Zach Wilson Starring in Milf Hunter and Goes Balls Deep for the New York Jets
Besides, Kelce already has her heart set on a date with another QB, Jimmy Garoppolo.
Donna gets her chance in Week 12 when the Chiefs visit the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium. If Garoppolo’s not hurt again, then Donna might be able to get her groove on. We’re certainly rooting for her.
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Harvey Ballbanger loves to shoot the shit. If he were bigger, he’d probably be a baller. Hell, if he hadn’t gotten a wing clipped, he’d be Ballbangin’ for the NFL right now, messing around with triple-doubles in his downtime in the NBA. But that isn’t the case. Instead, Ballbanger’s letting it all hang out, delivering fresh piles, from one throne to another.
