Privacy Policy

Who we are

We’re fucking flies who operate http://aflyontheball.com/

What personal data we collect and why we collect it

Comments

When visitors leave comments on the site, some Silicon Valley and Deep State douchebags want to collect your fucking data. They want to get their grubby little hands on the data shown in the comments form, your goddamn IP address, and browser user agent string to help spam detection. If that string thing is not a fly bikini, you already lost our attention.

Apparently, an anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash, but where’s the pipe?) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. But hey, if you have hash, you’re probably fucking using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/. After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment but who really gives a shit?

Media

If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website. Unless you are trying to advertise your location, it’s probably better to keep your fucking dick pics to yourself.

Contact forms

Cookies

We’re flies, we fuckin’ love cookies! So do the Silicon Valley and Deep State douchebags. If you leave a comment on our site, you may opt-in to saving your name, email address, and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so you don’t have to fill in your fucking details again when you leave another pointless comment. These cookies will last for one year. They usually go stale before then, but hey, whatever.

If you have an account and you log in to this site, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser. In all reality, if we could find this cookie, we’d prefer to fucking eat it.

When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select “Remember Me”, your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed. We don’t keep them in a fucking cookie jar or anything like that.

If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day. That’s a pretty shitty cookie.

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website. We just like to bring that content to you because we fucking can.

These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website. Not our fucking concern.

Analytics

Who we share your data with

How long we retain your data

If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue. Hey flies, they mentioned a fucking barbeque!

For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information. Not sure when they’ll ever have time to look at that though, they can barely keep this shitty website going. Dumb fucks.

What rights you have over your data

If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes. That belongs to the Deep State Silicon Valley douchebags and it always will.

Where we send your data

Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service. Nobody likes spam. If you bring the spam, we will swarm in disbelief.

Your contact information

Additional information

How we protect your data

We are just flies. We trust the professionals to protect your data. We have no interest in your data and we’re not sure why anybody else does.

What data breach procedures we have in place

We swarm around piles of fucking shit in hopes that people will stay away. We’re not sure what else would even work.

What third parties we receive data from

We receive our information from a network of insects known as flies. Are they considered third parties? OR is this like a threeway? We’ve never tried a threesome before.

What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data

Our bodies automatically decide when we have to shit or piss. That’s a lot to deal with on a daily basis. We’re not even going to talk about whatever triggers our hunger.

Affiliate marketing disclosure

Clicking on some links throughout A Fly On The Ball may earn us a small referral fee, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase. It’s kind of a win-win. Instead of swatting at a fucking fly, you can actually put some shit on our dinner plate. Call it karma to make up for all those flies you’ve killed over the years, asshole.

A Fly On The Ball is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to compensate affiliates in exchange for using content to direct traffic to the big A. That basically means we’re a couple of flies who earn from qualifying purchases at Amazon.

There may be other affiliate links from time to time. Help a fly out and fucking buy something. Don’t just be a fucking freeloader. Jesus…

Industry regulatory disclosure requirements

Full disclosure, we’re not sure what this fucking means. Oh, hey look, a bright blue light that’s calling me. Brb…

ZAP!