Carolina Panthers owner David Tepper isn’t exactly known for having patience. He may be a billionaire, but Tepper’s not capable of looking in the mirror and realizing where the real problem lies.
In addition to owning the Panthers, Tepper also owns Charlotte FC, a professional soccer team that’s actually been to the playoffs. Since they’ve only played two seasons, this is a notable feat. Especially considering the Panthers have missed the playoffs all six seasons since Tepper got involved.
Since Tepper’s ownership, the Panthers have played six seasons, and Charlotte has played two. In that time, Tepper has fired a total of five coaches.
At what point does he realize where the real problem lies?
Apparently, that time may be coming soon.
According to A Fly On The Ball in the Carolina Panthers’ locker room, shortly after firing Frank Reich following a 1-10 start, Tepper returned to his office and slammed the door shut.
Once in his closed quarters, Tepper looked down and saw his reflection in his polished, rich mahogany desk and gave himself a stern pep talk.
“This isn’t Pittsburgh! Everyone is laughing at you! They’re saying Bryce Young needs to grow a fucking mullet just to clean up your mistakes you dipshit. We can’t keep firing respected coaches like Rivera and Reich. Pretty soon a football guy will figure out what’s going on. If you don’t get this pack of Panthers back to the playoffs, you’re next, pal!”
Imitation of Carolina Panthers owner David Tepper ripping himself a new one
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Well, there you have it. At least we finally know Tepper is on the hot seat too. Then again, it’s possible instead of hiring another new coach he can fire a few months later, Tepper might do what’s best and pick up the coaching headset to get the job done himself. After all, this is a man who wants the job done right, and there isn’t a human in the world capable of living up to those expectations.
As to the haters who don’t believe Tepper can Keep Pounding, he has a message for you.
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Harvey Ballbanger loves to shoot the shit. If he were bigger, he’d probably be a baller. Hell, if he hadn’t gotten a wing clipped, he’d be Ballbangin’ for the NFL right now, messing around with triple-doubles in his downtime in the NBA. But that isn’t the case. Instead, Ballbanger’s letting it all hang out, delivering fresh piles, from one throne to another.
