The Los Angeles Chargers have existed, in some form, since the very first Super Bowl. Despite being around for 58 years, the Bolts have failed every single time in their quest to win a Lombardi Trophy, as amazing as it sounds.
At some point, one has to wonder if the Chargers are even trying to win a Super Bowl, but that just couldn’t be possible, right? Yeah, we didn’t think so either.
However, I, Harvey Ballbanger, am willing to bet that the Los Angeles Chargers will never win a Super Bowl. Here’s why:
Curse of LT
As the Chargers are learning, breaking a curse is tough. We’re, of course, talking about the curse of LaDainian Tomlinson. We all know there can only be one LT, and that’s Lawrence Taylor.
The fact that Tomlinson’s parents had the audacity to name their son LaDainian is absurd. As they say, you can’t pick family, and as LT2 learned, you can’t pick your name either.
Who knew making Tomlinson the fifth pick back in 2001 would turn out to be one of the biggest mistakes in franchise history? They’ve been paying for it ever since. Drafting Drew Brees would have made a lot more sense. He at least won a Super Bowl.
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Speaking of mistakes, how about drafting one of the most accurate QBs in NFL history with the 32nd pick, only to abandon him after five seasons? Just four years later, Brees would lead the New Orleans Saints to victory in Super Bowl XLIV. Go figure.
Justin Herbert is incredible. Sure, he signed a five-year, $262 million contract extension through 2029, but we all know that doesn’t mean anything. Players get out of their contracts all the time. Look at Andrew Luck or Henry Ruggs. Meanwhile, teams have no issues moving on when a Super Bowl gets within reach, like the Lions did with Matthew Stafford.
All signs point to Herbert following in the footsteps of Brees, bailing on the Bolts after however many seasons he chooses before moving onto a team that’s actually serious about competing for a Lombardi trophy.
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What Are the Chargers?
After all, how can a team named after phone chargers be real? Sure, they’re useful as hell, and everyone needs them, but eventually, they’ll run out of juice, and no one will care. Listen, every phone charger eventually needs to be replaced. Facts are facts.
According to five seconds of research, the franchise was actually named the Chargers because the GM at the time liked hearing fans yell “Charge.” How stupid is that?
Have you ever heard of something dumber in your life? This team doesn’t deserve to win a Super Bowl, even if the lightning bolts and powder blue uniforms are cool as fuck.
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Harvey Ballbanger loves to shoot the shit. If he were bigger, he’d probably be a baller. Hell, if he hadn’t gotten a wing clipped, he’d be Ballbangin’ for the NFL right now, messing around with triple-doubles in his downtime in the NBA. But that isn’t the case. Instead, Ballbanger’s letting it all hang out, delivering fresh piles, from one throne to another.
