Do you remember when Bryce Young stood tall among his peers as the best quarterback prospect available in the 2023 NFL Draft?
The Chicago Bears remember because they earned the first overall pick. Yet, with a franchise QB already in place, the Bears could smell desperation from the Carolina Panthers, with David Tepper eager to make another investment that had the potential to go to the moon.
But so far, investing in Bryce Young’s stock has gone tits up.
It’s a good thing the former Heisman Trophy winner was a national champion in college because he can’t win anything in the NFL. Young had to lose five games before he won his first, which came in a convincing three-point blowout over the Houston Texans, who started NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year C.J. Stroud.
Young has the fewest yards per attempt in the NFL (5.5) through seven starts, but now he has a plan to address his issues head-on.
How can Bryce Young improve as an NFL QB? By growing a mullet. The come to Jesus moment clicked during the bye week when the 22-year-old stumbled upon an old video reminding Young how a lowly camp invite handled pressure like a seasoned vet who’s seen some shit.
Now, after a rocky road, Young believes he has everything figured out again. The only issue is, growing a mullet, especially one that looks like you drive a Camaro, doesn’t happen overnight. However, as they say, good things take time.
There’s nothing holding the 5-foot-10 QB back from here. Panthers fans can rest easy, knowing they’re in good hands with a QB who soon will have everything he needs to bring a Lombardi Trophy home to Carolina. It might even happen this season.
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Harvey Ballbanger loves to shoot the shit. If he were bigger, he’d probably be a baller. Hell, if he hadn’t gotten a wing clipped, he’d be Ballbangin’ for the NFL right now, messing around with triple-doubles in his downtime in the NBA. But that isn’t the case. Instead, Ballbanger’s letting it all hang out, delivering fresh piles, from one throne to another.
