It’s no secret around the NFL that Sean Payton is turning in the absolute worst coaching job in the history of the league this season. After an embarrassing Week 3 blowout at the hands of the Miami Dolphins to the tune of 70-20, the 2023 Denver Broncos have already checked out on their coach and teammates.
This season’s results shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone following the Broncos since the clickbait hire of crybaby Payton during the offseason. First, Payton threw the previous regime under the bus, as pointed out by A Fly On The Ball a few weeks ago. That takes brass balls, which Payton clearly doesn’t have but he did it anyway.
You see, the NFL coaching pool is a tight-knit fraternity. They stand up for each other and look out for each other. On top of that, they understand each other. When somebody throws one of their own to the wolves, the rest of the pack takes notice.
By declaring former Broncos coach Nathanial Hackett’s 2022 squad as the “worst-coached team in football”, you can only imagine how much crow Payton was eating on the evening of September 24, 2023. As if the 50-point deficit wasn’t enough, the entire internet made the same exact joke toward Payton and his miserable coaching job.
When asked about the significance of the Broncos’ historic loss to the Fins, Payton’s response was running a bit thin on patience, to say the least. The good news is he’s aware of the historical significance, the bad news for Broncos fans is their franchise is still the worst-coached team in football.
You can watch Payton’s post-game press conference for more details. He really just wants to know what the question is, regardless of being aware of his historic loss as well as his previous comments and the lingering effect they are having.
You can clearly see the lack of accountability from the Broncos head coach. Sadly, he sets the tone for the entire team but what else should you expect from a guy who had to use under-the-table bribes to win his only Super Bowl?
After the blowout loss to the Dolphins, it’s clear that nobody wants to play for Blockhead Coach Payton anymore. A Fly On The Ball in the Broncos locker room reports the problems really began percolating when Payton began publicly throwing quarterback Russell Wilson under the bus.
It’s no secret that Wilson is soft. He’s also living a waking nightmare as one of the most sleep-deprived athletes of the modern era. Besides his sleep deprivation, Wilson is used to being coddled in positivity from rah-rah head coach Pete Carroll. Even Carroll grew tired of Wilson’s antics, knowing exactly when to cut ties while fetching a king’s ransom in exchange for the diva has-been.
Once Payton was hired, he wanted to make sure everyone on the Broncos knew there was a new sheriff in town. Payton even took Wilson’s personal office away to use it for himself. Payton is currently using Wilson’s old office to store his massive dildo collection. Since then, Payton has asked Wilson to move his office down to Storage B.
Rumor has it, when Wilson grumbled about his office being taken away, Blockhead Payton told him, “Why don’t you pray about it, buddy?” It’s clear the Wilson-Payton relationship is already damaged beyond repair.
That’s not even the breaking news here. The real story is that Payton doesn’t seem to realize he’s on the verge of a complete mutiny. The writing is clearly on the wall. Just check out Garett Bolles’ reaction to the current regime’s lackluster results:
Perhaps that’s why A Fly On The Ball at the Broncos lost and found desk caught wind of some rather peculiar activity. A strange caller, who was very angrily projecting little dick energy, rang the lost and found desk looking for the locker room.
After answering the phone, the attendant turned to surrounding employees while declaring, “Sean Payton has officially lost the locker room,” amid a sigh of relief that could be felt throughout the entire Broncos facility.
Apparently, Payton stayed after hours because he didn’t believe the phone attendant at the lost and found desk. This loser literally waited around the Broncos facility until everyone left and then proceeded to check the lost and found desk for himself.
Although Payton did not find the Broncos locker room, he was seen taking something from the lost and found box back to his office. A fly on the scene reports it was a 2022 Broncos offensive playbook authored by none other than Nathaniel Hackett himself. Payton reportedly is going to be installing the entire playbook into his offense within the coming weeks, if he isn’t fired first.
It’s safe to say Payton is desperate enough to try anything at this point. One thing is clear, whatever he is currently doing isn’t working and the players aren’t buying in. The Broncos are playing cringeworthy football right now, fans are calling for Vance Joseph’s head but this team has more problems than just the defense.
For a fanbase who witnessed back-to-back Super Bowl wins from the legendary John Elway to watching Peyton Manning ride off into the sunset as a Bronco, the past seven seasons have been a nightmare. How much longer will fans tolerate Sean Payton’s foolish arrogance when he is clearly not getting the results he is being paid to get?
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Buzz McFly hears all the latest buzz through his impressive network consisting of millions of flies swarming near every pile of shit in the entire world. When shit goes down, Buzz has eyes on the scene waiting to bask in the latest filth and dirt. Growing up an avid sports fan, his credibility in the field is second to none. He comes from a long line of spectator sporting event reporters willing to lay it all on the line for a fresh scoop of the latest news before it breaks wind anywhere else.
