We asked the same question every single year with Damian Lillard on the roster. Will the Portland Trail Blazers be any good this season?
Without Lillard, there’s no question at all. The Blazers will suck balls. Accept it. Own it.
But at least we know that from the start instead of clinging for hope during the past 11 seasons of turmoil.
Now we can move on with our lives, updating our social media profiles to say “Former Blazers fan” and taking the pledge to never watch another NBA game again.
Some may be upset, but let’s be real. It’s about damn time Dame Time is up. Let him be another franchise’s problem now.
Maybe the Blazers could even transform into the Seattle SuperSonics so NBA fans could have a team someone wouldn’t be embarrassed to root for again.
Meanwhile, it’s time to find a new hobby for the fans who won’t be included in the trade. Such is life.
But this is YOUR opportunity to get back at your ex. Show Lillard you never relied on him for happiness to begin with.
Besides, it’s not like the Blazers were ever winners before. Who even needed Lillard in their lives anyway!? To hell with him. The Blazers and their fanbase are much better off now than ever before.
Do you want to know what rooting for a team with Dame is like? It’s like believing a climax exists but never reaching it. Every single night. Congratulations to fans of whichever team Dame goes to, you’re about to give up orgasms for a while.
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Harvey Ballbanger loves to shoot the shit. If he were bigger, he’d probably be a baller. Hell, if he hadn’t gotten a wing clipped, he’d be Ballbangin’ for the NFL right now, messing around with triple-doubles in his downtime in the NBA. But that isn’t the case. Instead, Ballbanger’s letting it all hang out, delivering fresh piles, from one throne to another.
