The Forest Green Rovers Appoint Hannah Dingley as Caretaker Manager
After being relegated to EFL League Two following a pathetic effort in 2022-23 League One, the Forest Green Rovers have decided to hand the keys to a new leader. Out with the old and in with Hannah Dingley, who is set to become the very first woman to coach a men’s soccer team in English Football League history.
Something had to change. This sorry lot needs to learn how to grow a parody’s nuts, and who better to teach them than Dingley? She runs a tight ship, and her first order of business will be to whip these losers into shape. If anybody can tell the Rovers to grow a pair, it’s Dingley.
Who knows? Perhaps Dingley can even get the FGR F.C. to play with some fucking heart for once. It would help if the players actually showed some fucking enthusiasm and passion for the game. Just look at this sorry lot give the game away to the Oxford United last season:
That’s why Oxford United is still League One material while the FGR stumbled to the finish line with a cringeworthy 6-9-31 record in League One last campaign. What the fuck? Six bloody wins? Show some fucking pride before you are relegated to the bloody MLS!
Many American sports fans are as spoiled as it gets because they never have to worry about relegation. Imagine if the Oakland Athletics were being shipped down to the minor leagues for sucking balls instead of getting the opportunity to become Sin City’s first-ever baseball team?
Just like the Oakland A’s, relegation sucks balls. In soccer, relegation is common practice when you become an embarrassment to the sport. When a team is relegated, family members disown the players on that team until they can return to prominence.
The goal for Hannah Dingley is to coach these misfits back into League One. In order to do that, she’s going to need to turn each and every one of these losers into disciplined ball-lickers. The only problem is, men usually have two ears, but none of us listen.
Don’t worry Hannah, there’s no pressure. The whole world isn’t watching or anything like that. For example, your new job title is the topic of conversation for the first-ever EFL content from A Fly On The Ball.
Now, don’t fuck this up, or else the Forest Green Rovers will actually end up in Major League Soccer, and if you can’t cut it there, well, there is literally nowhere else to go. Let’s see if this Dingus can turn this ship around. Good luck!
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