Sports Memes - A FLY ON THE BALL

New York Giants Offensive Coordinator Mike Kafka Exiled to Island of Misfit Toys

November 10, 2023December 5, 2023 Buzz McFly

Giants Fans Want Mike Kafka Relieved of Play-Calling Duties Immediately

It’s no secret that New York Giants offensive coordinator Mike Kafka spends his time off the football field as one of the most evil people on the planet, Lex Luthor. The very first time you see Kafka’s satanic eyebrows, you’re left wondering when Spock went full bald eagle. At least when Kafka gets fired from the Giants, he will be able to resume his role as Spock in the upcoming Star Trek film:

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Bryce Young Grows Mullet To Deal With NFL Pressure

November 9, 2023November 28, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

Do you remember when Bryce Young stood tall among his peers as the best quarterback prospect available in the 2023 NFL Draft?

The Chicago Bears remember because they earned the first overall pick. Yet, with a franchise QB already in place, the Bears could smell desperation from the Carolina Panthers, with David Tepper eager to make another investment that had the potential to go to the moon.

But so far, investing in Bryce Young’s stock has gone tits up.

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Josh McDaniels Eats Himself Out of Las Vegas Raiders Head Coaching Job

November 8, 2023June 16, 2024 Buzz McFly

The Real Truth Behind the Termination of Josh McDaniels

It’s been just over a week since the Las Vegas Raiders made the decision to fire Josh McDaniels as their head football coach. As is always the case, the dust still hasn’t settled while the internet runs wild with speculation regarding what really happened behind closed doors.

Luckily, A Fly On The Ball caught wind of everything that went down. To say there are always flies lurking around the Raiders facilities would be an understatement.

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Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can’t Get San Francisco 49ers Balls Deep Into Playoffs

October 30, 2023December 21, 2023 Buzz McFly

Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can't Get Balls Deep

Every empire eventually crumbles, just ask the San Francisco 49ers, who literally built the framework to become the next dynasty in the NFL. They were only missing one key ingredient, a quarterback who could take the Niners to the promised land. Cue Brock Purdy, Mr. Irrelevant from the 2022 NFL Draft.

As has often been the case throughout his career, former San Francisco heartthrob Jimmy Garoppolo found himself unable to play. The teams Garoppolo plays for often mask his injuries with buzzwords such as shoulder, thumb, ACL tear, or pedal foot fracture but the reality is actually much more severe.

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Modelo Beer Partnership Awkward for Damian Lillard and Milwaukee Bucks

October 18, 2023December 21, 2023 Buzz McFly

Modelo Partnership Awkward for Damian Lillard in Milwaukee Bucks

City of Milwaukee Wants Schlitz Lager Sponsorship To Promote Local Brewing

Since being traded from the Portland Trail Blazers to the Milwaukee Bucks, Damian Lillard is the talk of Brew Town. The only problem is, the buzz generated by Lillard hasn’t exactly been positive publicity. Lillard is making headlines for all the wrong reasons because of the company he keeps off the court.

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3 Reasons Why the Minnesota Vikings Will Never Win a Super Bowl

October 16, 2023May 10, 2024 Harvey Ballbanger

Some ships are made of metal. Some ships are made of wood. But the best ships–championships– don’t belong to Vikings. Imagine if they could?

On second thought, no. Don’t do that.

There’s no point in wasting an ounce of energy dreaming about living in some fantasy world. Nothing has changed since the day you came into this world as a soggy mess no one wanted anything to do with. The Minnesota Vikings didn’t have any Super Bowl wins then, and the same will remain true when you leave this earth, when no one will want anything to do with you again, as your team remains a complete loser. That’s just life for a Vikings fan.

Yet, believe it or not, there are still some sick fucks out there (their term is a “glutton for punishment” oofta) who hold out hope that the Vikings will not only win a Super Bowl but possibly even later this season. We’re not joking. It’s a real condition several suffer from. Perhaps you’ve heard of Skoliosis?

Unlike cowbell, there really is no prescription. Not that you need to fuck yourself up any further. You’re already a Vikings fan, for god’s sake. You betcha, it doesn’t get any worse than that donchaknow.

Anyway, here are three reasons why the Minnesota Vikings will never win a Super Bowl.

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Jimmy Butler Retires from NBA to Start Emo Band

October 14, 2023May 3, 2024 Buzz McFly

Band Tentatively Titled: Jimmy Escapes World

Jimmy Butler recently used the NBA’s media day to unveil a new look while announcing his retirement from being a man to focus on his new emo band, Jimmy Escapes World. It’s no secret the Miami Heat are in a difficult position entering the 2023-24 NBA season. Butler’s shocking retirement certainly isn’t going to help.

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Aaron Rodgers Launching Trippindales Franchise

October 9, 2023November 19, 2023 Buzz McFly

New York’s Hottest Club Is a Steamy Ayahuasca Retreat

It’s no secret Aaron Rodgers has had a lot of extra time on his hands lately. A bit too much time, perhaps? He’s been seen frequently on the sidelines and in the luxury suites of New York Jets games this season, everywhere but on the field. Don’t worry though, he still has plenty of time to make his weekly appearance on The Pat McAfee Show, where one thing becomes very clear.

At the end of the day, the guy really just wants to play football, but unfortunately, Father Time told Rodgers to take a little time out. Since moving to the business mecca of the world, Rodgers is looking to take his marketing savvy to the stratosphere after taking a pay cut this year. In other words, Rodgers wants to be more a little more productive during his downtime.

In an effort to bolster his retirement portfolio, Aaron Rodgers is launching a brand new speakeasy-style nightclub known as Trippindales. The Grand Opening for the first Trippindales location in New York City is expected to occur sometime in the Spring of 2024. Rodgers plans on franchising the ayahuasca retreat brand to take his visions nationwide.

Beings from any dimension, galaxy, or universe are welcome to gather at Trippindales for some adult-themed entertainment complemented by a gourmet menu of exotic hallucinogens from across the multiverse. Even Rick and Morty are expected to stop by for the epic Grand Opening.

Granted, this trip is a little bit different than the journey Jets fans were expecting to experience throughout the 2023 NFL season. Their season was over after only four offensive snaps, but that doesn’t mean they have to stay grounded in reality. Rodgers wants to help them lift their spirits after being blindsided by heartbreak.

On September 11th, it was the silence heard around the world as all eyeballs watched Grandpa Rodgers falling to the ground after a viciously calculated attack. Rodgers laid helplessly in ruins, defeated by the evil turf of JetLife stadium.

Sadly, this moment proved to be the Achilles heel of the season for the Jets. This day will live on in infamy for Jets fans all over the world. Hell, even casual football fans will never forget where they were on 9/11 while witnessing the collapse of tower No. 8.

As is usually the case, Rodgers remains optimistic. After all, a true battle-tested warrior never lets a petty heel injury stop them from positive manifestation. Rodgers even has his eye on an early return to the battlefield this season thanks to an experimental SpeedBridge procedure.

The only problem with that mentality is the Jets would actually have to make the playoffs for Rodgers to make a meaningful return to the field this season. Perhaps Rodgers is mixing his ayahuasca a little too strong because the 2023 Jets are currently sitting at 2-3.

Playoffs? You kidding me? Mr. Rodgers, you play in the same neighborhood as the Miami Dolphins and the Buffalo Bills. You and the rest of your fleet of single-engine Cessnas should just worry about getting to .500 for now. Don’t talk about playoffs.

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Zach Wilson Seeks Travis Kelce’s Mom’s Number Following New York Jets’ Loss to Kansas City Chiefs

October 3, 2023May 20, 2024 Harvey Ballbanger

Zach Wilson almost shocked the world with a near victory over the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday Night Football. Wilson finally showed some spunk, looking like the former No. 2 overall pick he was drafted to be. But no one saw the New York Jets QB’s biggest play of the night, which actually came after the game ended.

A Fly On The Ball in the Jets’ facility reports Wilson stepped foot in the film room this week, knowing a special guest would be in the house. Despite the extra preparation, Wilson still had pre-game jitters thanks to a heightened desire to perform for what he hoped to be his new dime piece.

Did you think we were talking about Taylor Swift? She’s just not Wilson’s type. He’s never been a Swiftie, plus Wilson prefers a bit more seasoning on his chalupa.

Instead, Wilson had his eye on Travis Kelce’s mom, Donna Kelce, who attended the Chiefs-Jets game from a private suite at MetLife Stadium. If you look closely, you can see Wilson winking at her after each completion.

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Sean Payton Searches Denver Broncos Lost and Found for Locker Room

September 27, 2023December 9, 2023 Buzz McFly

It’s no secret around the NFL that Sean Payton is turning in the absolute worst coaching job in the history of the league this season. After an embarrassing Week 3 blowout at the hands of the Miami Dolphins to the tune of 70-20, the 2023 Denver Broncos have already checked out on their coach and teammates.

This season’s results shouldn’t be much of a surprise to anyone following the Broncos since the clickbait hire of crybaby Payton during the offseason. First, Payton threw the previous regime under the bus, as pointed out by A Fly On The Ball a few weeks ago. That takes brass balls, which Payton clearly doesn’t have but he did it anyway.

You see, the NFL coaching pool is a tight-knit fraternity. They stand up for each other and look out for each other. On top of that, they understand each other. When somebody throws one of their own to the wolves, the rest of the pack takes notice.

By declaring former Broncos coach Nathanial Hackett’s 2022 squad as the “worst-coached team in football”, you can only imagine how much crow Payton was eating on the evening of September 24, 2023. As if the 50-point deficit wasn’t enough, the entire internet made the same exact joke toward Payton and his miserable coaching job.

When asked about the significance of the Broncos’ historic loss to the Fins, Payton’s response was running a bit thin on patience, to say the least. The good news is he’s aware of the historical significance, the bad news for Broncos fans is their franchise is still the worst-coached team in football.

You can watch Payton’s post-game press conference for more details. He really just wants to know what the question is, regardless of being aware of his historic loss as well as his previous comments and the lingering effect they are having.

You can clearly see the lack of accountability from the Broncos head coach. Sadly, he sets the tone for the entire team but what else should you expect from a guy who had to use under-the-table bribes to win his only Super Bowl?

After the blowout loss to the Dolphins, it’s clear that nobody wants to play for Blockhead Coach Payton anymore. A Fly On The Ball in the Broncos locker room reports the problems really began percolating when Payton began publicly throwing quarterback Russell Wilson under the bus.

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