Sports Celebrity Roast - A FLY ON THE BALL

The Everlasting Ballstopper: New James Harden Candy Coming Soon!

December 23, 2023April 7, 2024 Buzz McFly

It’s no secret that Willy Wonka changed the game when it comes to sugar and candy. That’s why the famous candy gods chose to name their newest scrumtrulescent creation after James Harden of the Los Angeles Clippers.

Coming soon to a convenience store near you is the Everlasting Ballstopper, a new gob-stopping flavor dropped in collaboration between Willy Wonka and James Harden. This new designer candy is fire.

When A Fly On The Ball reached out to Willy Wonka with questions regarding why they chose Harden as inspiration for their new Everlasting Ballstopper candy, the candy-czar’s response was short and sweet:

“Game recognize game.”
– Willy Wonka on Harden’s Contribution to the Everlasting Ballstopper

James Harden the Everlasting Ballstopper Meme Los Angeles Clippers T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan – Unisex

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Wonka originally scheduled a night out on the town in Los Angeles to catch a Clippers game but the big Hollywood star is always so busy. As a result, A Fly On The Ball had the privilege to catch a Clippers game in Wonka’s suite along with some of the top-performing Oompa Loompas within the company.

Thanks to Wonka’s generous open-bar policy, there were unlimited drinks and sweets on hand. By sticking around, A Fly On The Ball was able to catch some interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits regarding how Wonka originally came up with the idea for the Everlasting Ballstopper.

There was one Oompa Loompa in particular, Iggywumpus Guzzle-Gloop, who had an affinity for Snozberry Schnapps. So, ol’ Buzz McFly slipped the bartender a 20 and told him to “keep ’em comin!” He obliged. By the time the third quarter rolled around, a nightmarish sugar buzz was in full swing while the booze was encouraging loose lips. Journalism 101.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Iggywumpus went all Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds while deciding to drop a few tabs under the blue moon. Finally, a golden ticket to the Everlasting Ballstopper story. The details were about to get juicy.

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Is Big Bird Coaching Atlanta Falcons?

December 19, 2023December 23, 2023 Buzz McFly

How Arthur Smith and Arthur Blank Are Giving Art a Bad Name

It’s never a good look when you lose to the worst team in football. Not only did the Atlanta Falcons fall to a Carolina Panthers team that would be hard-pressed to compete in the SEC, the Dirty Birds appear to have been grounded for good. Let’s face it, this Atlanta Falcons team is built to compete in an era before the forward pass was even legal.

Ask any bird or fly for that matter. It’s impossible to take off with clipped wings. The Falcons couldn’t move the ball through the air even if they wanted to. There have been plenty of Monday morning armchair general managers who want to blame the Atlanta Falcons quarterback room, but that just isn’t fair.

The real reason why the Falcons can’t get airborne has nothing to do with Desmond Ridder’s lack of talent, inability to read a defense, or go through his progressions. Rumor has it that Falcons head coach Arthur Smith is afraid to fly. Smith’s clear fear of flying is the primary reason he doesn’t even have a dedicated quarterbacks coach on his staff in 2023.

Just like Big Bird, Arthur Smith doesn’t have the wings or aerodynamic body type required to achieve flight. Both Big Bird and Arthur Smith have the beak and the aftermarket bug shield in place, by all accounts, they look like birds. Yet, something seems off. Something just isn’t quite right here.

Bigbird One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others GIFfrom Bigbird GIFs

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George Costanza Interviews for Los Angeles Chargers General Manager Vacancy

December 16, 2023April 10, 2024 Buzz McFly

Chargers Interview George Costanza For General Manager Vacancy Meme George Costanza Interviewing for Los Angeles Chargers General Manager Vacancy Meme Post Version

George Costanza Set To Prove He Is Penske Material Once and for All

In an effort to head into retirement on a high note, former New York Yankees assistant to the traveling secretary, George Costanza, is currently flying en route to Los Angeles. Costanza feels he has one more dream job left in him before calling it a career and the Los Angeles Chargers want to hear his plans for turning the franchise around.

It’s no secret Costanza has always been curious about what the West Coast has to offer. At times, George thinks he wants to get away from the bustle of the Big Apple to see if he could ever fit in with the cool kids out west. A lot of people don’t realize this, but George Costanza is actually a bit of a bad boy:

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Draymond Green Punching Below Weight Class and Still Losing

December 14, 2023December 15, 2023 Buzz McFly

Draymond Green’s Punch-Out!!

It’s another day that ends with the letter Y which means it’s another opportunity for Draymond Green to tarnish whatever he thinks his legacy is. To say Green has been out of control lately would be an understatement. Plenty of people are already saying the Golden State Warriors would be better off without Green’s costly distractions, behavior, and off-court drama.

There are even a few voices calling for the NBA to issue a lifetime ban to Green after his latest fiasco. Why not? If Pete Rose can still be banned from baseball after legalizing sports gambling, why not throw the book at this bozo, Draymond Green? Adam Silver has already issued an indefinite suspension for Green’s latest low blow to the NBA’s non-violent public relations effort.

It’s clear the NBA has a discipline problem, they are not coming down hard enough on players such as Ja Morant of the Memphis Grizzlies and Draymond. Players think they can do whatever they want, including brandishing weapons in public or physically ambushing other players on the basketball court, because there are no consequences.

Speaking of Morant, in a matter of only one month, Green has made the entire NBA community completely forget about how immature Ja is. It all began when Draymond Green put Rudy Gobert of the Minnesota Timberwolves in a headlock during a matchup on November 14:

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Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice

December 13, 2023May 20, 2024 Buzz McFly

Why It’s Time for the Kansas City Chiefs to Leap Away from Taylor Swift

Looking back, Patrick Mahomes, Head Coach Andy Reid, and the Kansas City Chiefs have shared a lot of fond memories and success together over the years. The best part for Chiefs Nation is they are really just getting started. Mahomes has a lot left in the tank and he is already widely considered to be one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.

If you know anything about Big Red, the Chiefs head coach has a great sense of humor. For example, who could ever forget the time a reporter asked Andy Reid to describe Patrick Mahomes’ speaking voice? Coach Reid famously responded with, “Froggish”.

Once upon a time, the Chiefs’ locker room, including Mahomes, liked to have fun with it:

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Sean Payton Credits New Team Bong as Key to Denver Broncos’ Success

December 9, 2023December 10, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

Before Sean Payton could turn the tides around for the Denver Broncos, he needed to become one with the culture Colorado natives have embraced. This was Nathaniel Hackett’s biggest oversight during his brief stint in the Centennial State.

But not Payton. He’d make sure the vibes were different at Mile High this year.

Payton began laying the groundwork in the offseason. Before he even blew his first whistle in the thin, haze-filled Colorado air, Payton learned how to breathe. Or, to translate for those outside of the 420 area code, Payton learned how to inhale.

Sean Payton ripping a bong with 16 year olds pic.twitter.com/b2ZjYBkGQD
— NYJ Matt (@NYJ_Matt) July 27, 2023

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Extraterrestrial Named Wembanyama Invades NBA’s San Antonio Spurs

December 9, 2023December 9, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

If you’ve watched the NBA this season, chances are you’ve caught a glimpse of the extraterrestrial they’ve been calling “Victor Wembanyama.” It has taken over control of the San Antonio Spurs, where shape-shifting cohort Adam Silver has assigned legendary basketball mind Gregg Popovich to teach the Wembanyama how to basketball. Just look at the excitement here after demanding a jersey with all ten letters printed on the back.

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Meet the Nazmanian Devil: Naz Reid of the Minnesota Timberwolves

December 7, 2023April 3, 2024 Buzz McFly

Standing in the blue corner, at six-foot-nine inches tall, out of LSU, Meet the Nazmanian Devil: Naz Reid of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Slouching in the red corner, shaking in their boots, is the rest of the NBA trying to figure out a way to slow this Wolves team down after winning their fifth game in a row. The Timberwolves currently hold the top spot in the NBA’s Western Conference Standings.

Minnesota Timberwolves fans are enjoying a somewhat belated revival at the Target Center this season. They are on a roll, sporting a 16-4 record after playing 20 games of their 2023-24 NBA Season. Charles Barkley and quite a few million others have plates full of crow waiting for them at the breakfast table this morning.

Despite constant negative publicity from the national media, the Wolves continue proving doubters wrong everywhere. Some people think this recent success is unusual but for Wolves fans, this resurgence is long overdue.

Over the offseason, many Wolves fans already knew what they had in Naz Reid, they’ve known about the Nazmanian Devil for years. This is a guy the entire fanbase did not want to lose even though he was set to hit free agency. In fact, a majority of Wolves fans thought Naz Reid was gone the moment the free agency window opened.

Naz Reid Nazmanian Devil Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan

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It’s no secret that Wolves fans love Naz Reid, losing him to free agency would have left hardcore fans howling at the moon for the rest of his career. When news broke that the Nazmanian Devil would be back with the Wolves for at least three more years, fans rejoiced in disbelief while letting out a collective sigh of relief.

Wolves fans are so used to players wanting to leave Minneapolis, but this guy wanted to stay? Talk about a changing of the guard. Fans certainly make their love known for the Nazmanian Devil throughout Minnesota:

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Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment at Miami Beach Boardwalk

December 6, 2023December 20, 2023 Buzz McFly

The Penguin of South Beach Already Planning His Next Big Move

This just in. Reports emerging out of Miami, Florida, have several eyewitness accounts of Jaylen Waddle frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk. The star Miami Dolphins wide receiver has certainly made a name for himself in South Beach.

Since emerging from the rolling Tuscaloosa tide, The Penguin of South Beach has waddled his way to fortune, fame, and respect. It’s still entirely unclear how a penguin is able to move with such lightning-quick speed, his elusiveness continues to puzzle the defense department. It seems as though nobody can catch Waddle, slow him down, or stop him.

Since 2021, Jaylen Waddle has snagged over 236 certified airmail packages while racking up over 3,114 yards of distance, on webbed feet. Over that timespan, The Penguin of South Beach has reached paydirt 17 times and counting. That’s a lot of waddles.

via GIPHY

In 2023 alone, authorities have already credited 57 successful swipes by The Penguin of South Beach while estimating Waddle has covered at least 743 yards with the package in his possession. They even say he’s successfully delivered on his promises for at least three jobs requiring a touchdown approach, thus adding even more valuables to his vault this season.

As for his next big move, it’s no secret that Jaylen Waddle and his crew of Miami Dolphins have their eyes on the biggest prize of them all. That’s why Waddle has been seen frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk along with his hench-penguins lately.

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Lawrence Taylor Nominated for Snowtime Achievement Award

December 1, 2023December 5, 2023 Buzz McFly

Highlights From Accomplished NFL Career Cements Prestigious Honor For LT

If you are lucky enough to remember the 1986 Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, then Lawrence Taylor needs no introduction to you. LT was an absolute wrecking ball throughout the 1985 season on the football field. Sadly, many fans still don’t understand the toll that championship season had on Taylor.

New York Giants head coach Bill Parcells assembled a stellar staff of coaches for the 1985 NFL season, including pegging Bill Belichick as his defensive coordinator. 1985 was Belichick’s first season as the defensive coordinator of the Giants, he had already been a linebacker and special teams coach with Big Blue since 1979 up to that point.

Of course, much of Belichick’s rapid ascension in the NFL’s pecking order can probably be attributed to Lawrence Taylor’s otherworldly performance on the field. Despite Belichick’s massive success since those days, that fact has not been lost on old Bill over the years.

To this day, Bill Belichick still insists Lawrence Taylor is the greatest defensive player in the history of the NFL. Who are you to argue with the GOAT of modern head coaches? Even if you tried to make a case for somebody else, you’d lose all credibility debating against Belichick wearing a hoodie with the sleeves ripped off like a dollar store special. To quote Kendrick Lamar, “Sit down. Be humble.”

You don’t have to be a football guru to see Lawrence Taylor played like a man possessed by something on the football field. Just check out any LT highlight reel while you do a little line dancing of your own so you can feel the impact of every bone-crunching big hit.

Lawrence Taylor Big Hit Meme — Think you could handle a big hit from Lawrence Taylor?

If you want proof that cocaine fueled Taylor to a Hall Of Fame football career, it’s all right here. As a personal hero of mine, LT’s story inspires me to seek a big ol’ pile of blow to land in and see if a goddamn fly can make it in the NFL. It’s time for old Buzz McFly to hit the shake weight room.

Lawrence Taylor Shake Weight Meme — Official Lawrence Taylor Shake Weight Endorsement Photo Shoot

Unfortunately, according to Taylor, Buzz McFly wouldn’t get away with it:

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