Tom Brady Falling For Temptress Kim Kardashian
The entire football world remains shocked that Tom Brady hasn’t announced he’s coming out of retirement yet. As everybody else is waiting for Brady to announce his comeback for another season, we’ve recently learned there may be more going on behind the scenes than meets the fly.
Reports recently emerged that Tom has somehow caught Kim Kardashian’s eye. Now, Kim is known to have a great sense of humor. After all, she proved to have one of the most pleasantly surprising personalities in the world when she hosted Saturday Night Live.
That’s why everyone is kind of waiting for that Ashton Kutcher Punk’d moment to drop. When is Kim going to reveal that she was just trolling Tom this whole time? Will she do whatever it takes to boost ratings on The Kardashians?
If she goes forward with this hilarious prank, it could prove to be one of the funniest scenes in reality television history. Where will you be the moment Kim breaks the ultimate heartbreaker’s heart? Let ‘Em Hang!
Get your popcorn ready, I don’t think Brady sees this blitz coming, much like his final season in the NFL. Blindsided by Sweet Tits Molasses, Tom seems like a motivated seller at the moment. After his recent divorce, the ‘For Sale’ sign is definitely in his front yard.
He’s got his boxes packed and the moving company has already been hired, he’s just waiting for the right sign. Of course, Tom might want to give it a few dates before ‘accidentally’ leaving a toothbrush behind in one of Kim’s mansions.
You might want to keep your eye on the third-base coach, Brady. Rumor has it that Kim is a pretty old-fashioned girl. She prefers being courted by a gentleman of status, not somebody whose biggest role thus far was in Ted 2. That’s not even the best Ted!
Besides, Kim isn’t just going to hop into the sack with any old, washed-up jock. She has a certain reputation to uphold. Some speculate Kim Kardashian has already put Tom Brady in the dreaded friend zone. Blue balls for life, bro.
Yet, for whatever reason, Brady still thinks he’s got what it takes to toss his hat into the ring. Tom Brady’s definitely not going to put Pete Davidson out of business, that’s for sure. Tommy’s in for an embarrassingly rude awakening once he realizes you need BDE to impress Kim.
Kim Kardashian has no shortage of suitors and she never will. There’s just something about her that people gravitate toward, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s her money, who knows?
Will Tom prove to be more than a fling for Kimmy K? Or, will Kim toss him aside the next time she sees a seductively tempting new dressing she wants to try on her salad? What if Kim Kardashian discovers that Tom Brady just doesn’t have it anymore?
That’s what the Tampa Bay Buccaneers discovered last season. Shortly thereafter, the rest of the NFL followed suit. It got to the point where no team would let Tommy Boy lace ’em up for them anymore so he had to buy a slice of the Las Vegas Raiders just to get a taste.
Brady seems to be licking his lips for a different kind of sweet action now. However, he’s clearly not the only woodpecker knockin’ at that tree.
When it comes to competition, Brady used to rise to the occasion like a champ. Unfortunately, he’s been struggling to get it up since retirement. Once Kimmy K realizes Tom Brady went from being Him to needing hims, the whole relationship will go limp like a cold day in the water. In some ways, that’s better than blue balls if it leads Tom Brady back to the gridiron.
P.S. Marrying Kim doesn’t count as getting another ring.
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