Tag: San Francisco 49ers

🪰 Come Get A Parody’s Nuts With A Fly On The Football 🏈 The Latest San Francisco 49ers News As Heard By A Fly On The Ball 💩

Bill Polian Was Right About Lamar Jackson + How To Make the Baltimore Ravens the NFL’s Best

Harvey Ballbanger
Lamar Jackson, Bill Polian, Baltimore Ravens

Lamar Jackson is an MVP, but one of the biggest issues plaguing the Baltimore Ravens during the superstar’s NFL career is a lack of elite receivers. Sure, Justin Tucker scores more points than anyone. But aside from Mark Andrews and Zay Flowers, Jackson doesn’t really have anyone to throw to.

The solution is obvious and Hall of Fame scout, GM, and Super Bowl champion Bill Polian nailed it years ago when discussing Jackson’s NFL Draft prospects. Here was Polian’s wise advice. 

Continue reading “Bill Polian Was Right About Lamar Jackson + How To Make the Baltimore Ravens the NFL’s Best”
Post Views: 1,062

Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment at Miami Beach Boardwalk

Buzz McFly
Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment At Miami Beach Boardwalk Meme Post Version

The Penguin of South Beach Already Planning His Next Big Move

This just in. Reports emerging out of Miami, Florida, have several eyewitness accounts of Jaylen Waddle frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk. The star Miami Dolphins wide receiver has certainly made a name for himself in South Beach.

Since emerging from the rolling Tuscaloosa tide, The Penguin of South Beach has waddled his way to fortune, fame, and respect. It’s still entirely unclear how a penguin is able to move with such lightning-quick speed, his elusiveness continues to puzzle the defense department. It seems as though nobody can catch Waddle, slow him down, or stop him.

Since 2021, Jaylen Waddle has snagged over 236 certified airmail packages while racking up over 3,114 yards of distance, on webbed feet. Over that timespan, The Penguin of South Beach has reached paydirt 17 times and counting. That’s a lot of waddles.

via GIPHY

In 2023 alone, authorities have already credited 57 successful swipes by The Penguin of South Beach while estimating Waddle has covered at least 743 yards with the package in his possession. They even say he’s successfully delivered on his promises for at least three jobs requiring a touchdown approach, thus adding even more valuables to his vault this season.

As for his next big move, it’s no secret that Jaylen Waddle and his crew of Miami Dolphins have their eyes on the biggest prize of them all. That’s why Waddle has been seen frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk along with his hench-penguins lately.

Continue reading “Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment at Miami Beach Boardwalk”
Post Views: 900

Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can’t Get San Francisco 49ers Balls Deep Into Playoffs

Buzz McFly
Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can't Get Balls Deep

Every empire eventually crumbles, just ask the San Francisco 49ers, who literally built the framework to become the next dynasty in the NFL. They were only missing one key ingredient, a quarterback who could take the Niners to the promised land. Cue Brock Purdy, Mr. Irrelevant from the 2022 NFL Draft.

As has often been the case throughout his career, former San Francisco heartthrob Jimmy Garoppolo found himself unable to play. The teams Garoppolo plays for often mask his injuries with buzzwords such as shoulder, thumb, ACL tear, or pedal foot fracture but the reality is actually much more severe.

Continue reading “Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can’t Get San Francisco 49ers Balls Deep Into Playoffs”
Post Views: 407

NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31

Harvey Ballbanger
NFL trade deadline

As even your girlfriend will tell you, there’s no period like the NFL trade deadline. This year, that spooky time of the month comes on Oct. 31, and as always, there are plenty of teams looking to shake up their rosters. Which NFL players are on the trade block? Who’s most likely to be traded before Tuesday’s deadline? 

Here’s a fresh pile of what A Fly On The Ball’s locker room sources chewed out, including NFL players guaranteed to be traded in 2023. 

Searching For Funny Fantasy Football Team Names?

Continue reading “NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31”
Post Views: 1,052

The REAL Story Behind The Saquon Barkley Contract Situation

Buzz McFly
Saquon Barkley New York Giants Contract Update

Get the Latest Saquon Barkley Contract Updates Here

With the NFL deadline for players to sign their franchise tag tenders fast approaching, there are plenty of rumors circulating around Saquon Barkley. As one of the most dynamic running backs in football, everyone in the league is paying close attention to how this situation plays out.

As of the time this article was published, Saquon Barkley still has not signed his franchise tag offer or a long-term deal with the New York Giants. In the past, he has made it clear that his desire is to work out a long-term deal with the Giants. As far as everyone can tell, that feeling is mutual.

Any tagged player who does not sign a multiyear deal with their team by July 17 at 4 pm ET is kind of left between a rock and a hard place. By NFL rules, any unsigned tagged player must either play the 2023 season under the franchise tag terms or be forced to forfeit the tag’s guaranteed salary by electing to sit out the season.

Although it would be a massive disappointment for both football and Giants fans to be deprived of a hangry Saquon terrorizing defenses on Sundays, you shouldn’t be pointing fingers at Barkley if that becomes a reality.

There’s a lot of leaks that happen when it comes to contract disputes. All of these so-called leaks have origins, just not sources anybody is willing to attach their names or reputations to. That’s when you know the rumors swirling are mostly bullshit or fueled by an agenda that has nothing to do with the negotiations or players and teams involved.

When it comes to the contract dispute between the Giants and Saquon, you are dealing with two extremely professional sides of the negotiation table. These are classy people on both sides of the table.

There is no way Saquon and his representatives are leaking anything because where would that get them? Nobody is trying to win a publicity stunt here. There’s too much loyalty at stake.

Historically, the Giants tend to keep things behind closed doors. Joe Schoen certainly doesn’t have interest in publicly ruffling the feathers of one of the team’s most beloved current players. It’s a lose-lose for either side to leak any kind of story regarding these negotiations. Especially one painting the other party in a negative light.

So, why are there caps swirling from nearly every talking asshole with an opinion regarding Saquon Barkley’s contract negotiations? Half the time, you have talking heads spewing opinions as facts that mislead most of the public.

The other half of the time, you have fans with extremely selective hearing or limited comprehension skills. They hear, read, and regurgitate every sports story with their own unique spin on it. After that, stories tend to take on a life of their own.

Trolling fans and the bullshit they spread online are literally the biggest source of fake news on the entire planet. They really ought to be ashamed of themselves. Who would ever resort to circulating fake news or false rumors on the internet? Damn trolls!

However, uninformed fans with a penchant for putting a little English on the ol’ spin aren’t the only ones to blame. There certainly have been some wild negotiation stories spreading from the tweets heard between the sheets.

However, if you want the real story behind the Saquon Barkley contract situation, you’ll need to check your security clearance at the door. If you somehow lost your clearance badge, don’t worry, we’ve had A Fly On The Ball behind the scenes, ready with the full scoop.

There are primarily three factors behind why the New York Football Giants and Saquon Barkley are struggling to come to terms. None of it has to do with greed, at least not on Saquon’s part. That dude has already earned every penny he has coming to him and then some.

The first reason Saquon and the Giants haven’t reached a deal yet is because…

Continue reading “The REAL Story Behind The Saquon Barkley Contract Situation”
Post Views: 45

4 Reasons Why Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit

Buzz McFly
Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit

Few things can spike ratings more than controversy, which is literally the only reason Skip Bayless still has a job on television. At a time when ESPN is slashing payroll faster than it takes Michael Myers to find his knife, the freakshow Bayless is somehow commanding a ridiculous salary from FOX Sports.

Skip Bayless is known for his hot takes that sound like they were schemed by a psychopathic contrarian, just to gauge reactions. In modern times, these controversial takes make waves while the entire world looks to Twitter or wherever the Scarecrow talking head is spewing his bullshit.

The irony here is that Skip actually thinks he is a well-liked guy with popular opinions. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the whole world is actually making fun of Bayless, not laughing with him.

When it comes to pretty much anything, this guy is the dictionary definition of a shithead. Here are the 4 reasons why Skip Bayless is full of shit:

Continue reading “4 Reasons Why Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit”
Post Views: 45

How Kneeling Led to NFL Popularity Being at an All-Time High

Harvey Ballbanger
NFL

Despite Tom Brady’s unforeseen retirement, the NFL’s popularity is at an all-time high heading into the 2023 season. There isn’t a single indicator suggesting otherwise. How did we get here? It’s actually quite obvious. 

Rewind back to September 1, 2016, when San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the national anthem to call attention to police brutality and racial inequality issues. 

Despite the effort gaining steam from athletes in the NFL and sports worldwide, Kaepernick’s decision to kneel drew the ire of several others who were completely butthurt by the act.

Kaepernick’s movement would be intensely amplified by several other NFL athletes joining in after former President Donald Trump took offense to the gesture and criticized the movement, leading to over 130 players kneeling or sitting just on one NFL Sunday. Here were Trump’s comments that sparked the increased volume of participants: 

“Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out? He’s fired. You know, some owner is going to do that. He’s gonna say, ‘That guy disrespects our flag, he’s fired.’ And that owner, they don’t know it. They don’t know it. They’re friends of mine, many of them. They don’t know it. They’ll be the most popular person, for a week. They’ll be the most popular person in the country.”

Of course, the former president failed to realize that Kaepernick was never protesting the national anthem or the American flag. He just wanted to protest police brutality and racial inequality. Yet, it didn’t matter. The faces of certain NFL fans turned red as they turned their ears off and unplugged their televisions so they could get back to their previously scheduled Klan meetings. 

Years later, we still have the receipts of those who said they would no longer watch the NFL from those who planned to boycott the league over the ‘kneeling issue.’ 

According to Sports Insider, Mississippi, Florida, and Iowa hilariously led the charge of states who intended to boycott the NFL. Well, the joke is on them, as they’re too illiterate to understand the NFL has been boycotting Mississippi and Iowa since its inauguration in 1920. And, like Donald Trump, Florida can just go fuck off. Florida sure seemed to be watching when Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won Super Bowl LV in 2021.

As for the fans who reportedly planned to boycott the NFL? It seems they too have kindly fucked off without anyone noticing their much-appreciated absence. 

Since then, we’ve seen the NFL add another game to their schedule, now playing 17 regular season contests, proving fans crave more football than ever. 

It’s time for these losers to face it. The NFL’s popularity is at an all-time high. Coaches and players are paid more than ever before. The NFL signed their biggest television deal in league history, a contract worth more than $100 billion, and TV ratings are at an all-time high. In fact, no other TV production is able to draw more viewers than an NFL game.

The NFL’s salary cap ballooned again this past offseason to a new record-high $224.8 million per team, per season. Once again, it’s obvious that Colin Kaepernick’s decision to kneel directly led to the NFL’s popularity reaching record highs. Anyone trying to argue otherwise isn’t woke.

But the league’s newfound popularity is not what these ill-advised tweeters were expecting years ago. 

Enjoying The Laughs? Grab A Parody’s Nuts with The Official A Fly On The Ball Gear

These Tweets Didn’t Age Well

While all these other tweets are from YEARS ago, this one from Brigitte Gabriel is amazingly from this past April. That is, April of 2023 for an issue that was so seven fucking years ago.

Umm… What the fuck? Does she know Kaepernick hasn’t played in the NFL for over seven years? The 35-year-old QB isn’t a huge threat to bother you on draft day in April, you know, seven fucking years after he’s been on the field. But no, get your dry-ass panties in a bunch about this one, Brigitte. Go get your attention elsewhere because the NFL doesn’t fucking care about you either.

Well, you heard it here first. Football is officially dead, folks. No one likes Patrick Mahomes, seeing Justin Jefferson doing the Griddy, or watching Lamar Jackson put on a dazzling display with his arm and his legs on gameday. No one. Goodbye NFL… Someone no one cares about (Eric Trump) is no longer watching. Oh heavens, how will the league ever recover?

Like Andrew Luck and Mike Pence, we’d leave an Indianapolis Colts game before kickoff too. This is a team that won just four games that season and four games again in 2022, even allowing the largest comeback in NFL history. Luck would walk out for good one year later. But that’s a fresh pile for a different time. 

The point is the NFL has never been bigger than it is today, and we have no one else to thank for this than the kneeling movement, which helped draw more attention to the league than ever before. Because honestly, who gives a fuck about whether someone decides to kneel or stand? Like sitting or standing, it sounds like a personal preference that we couldn’t fucking care less about. Play fucking ball.

Continue reading “How Kneeling Led to NFL Popularity Being at an All-Time High”
Post Views: 73