SPORTS MEMES, SATIRE & PARODY
🪰 Come Get A Parody’s Nuts With A Fly On The Basketball 🏀 The Latest San Antonio Spurs News As Heard By A Fly On The Ball 💩
If you’ve watched the NBA this season, chances are you’ve caught a glimpse of the extraterrestrial they’ve been calling “Victor Wembanyama.” It has taken over control of the San Antonio Spurs, where shape-shifting cohort Adam Silver has assigned legendary basketball mind Gregg Popovich to teach the Wembanyama how to basketball. Just look at the excitement here after demanding a jersey with all ten letters printed on the back.
It’s finally happened folks. Aliens are here in Las Vegas, just in time for the NBA Summer League action. But there’s no reason to worry because it turns out they’re big basketball fans too.
Perhaps it’s time to rewatch Space Jam and reconsider the possibility that Michael Jordan and the Tune Squad teaming up with Newman from Seinfeld was indeed a true story instead of a silly fairytale meant to entertain.
Could you imagine if Jordan actually got stuck and had to become the latest, greatest attraction on Moron Mountain? The Bulls would have never had their historic threepeat from 1996-98. Clearly, he had some additional fuel that we didn’t learn about until years later.
But enough about MJ. Back to the fucking aliens man.
Continue reading “Aliens Arrive in Basketball-Shaped Spaceship at NBA Summer League in Las Vegas”
There can only be one winner. This year, it was the Denver Nuggets, but now even the defending champions face massive challenges heading into NBA free agency.
For teams who didn’t make a splash in the NBA draft or via trade, the free agent market is the next best option. This year’s crop of talent includes a lot of key players, like James Harden and Kyrie Irving. But there’s a wide collection of athletes who have largely snuck under the radar and can help win an NBA championship next season.
Here is one realistic NBA free agency signing every team needs to make this summer. Is there a name we missed? Or perhaps a player who you feel is a better fit for your favorite team? Let us know in the comment section below.
Surprising reports are buzzing in from around NBA front office insiders that the San Antonio Spurs are not loving their options at number one going into tonight’s NBA Draft. Swamp nuts, the wings, eyes, and ears of A Fly On The Ball, are soaring by every steaming fresh pile in Texas for more details.
After verified reports emerged last night regarding Victor Wembanyama’s disdain for the franchise, the Spurs don’t want to risk selecting the top prospect in this year’s draft in fear that he might pull a Dimitrius Underwood.
No matter what San Antonio decides to do in tonight’s draft, this will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments in franchise history. The front office did zero due diligence on any other prospect leading up to the draft. They were under the assumption they had a shoo-in Hall of Fame selection in the bag. Here’s an undercover sneak peek at the front office of the San Antonio Spurs just two days ago:
Continue reading “San Antonio Spurs Exploring Trade Options for the First Overall Pick in NBA Draft”
There have never been more douchebags on social media than there are today, which means no prospect has ever had their dick publicly sucked more than Victor Wembanyama before they’ve even stepped foot on an NBA court.
They say he’s Kevin Durant combined with Rudy Gobert. Michael Jordan combined with Hakeem Olajuwon. How could the 7-foot-3 Frenchman fail?
Yet, some skeptics suggest the 19-year-old with a silky smooth jumper and an alien-like 8-foot wingspan could still be a bust at the next level. Remember, Wembanyama hasn’t taken a traditional route to the NBA.
He’s coming over from France, known more for overhyping meaningless statues than developing NBA superstars. This isn’t LeBron James or Michael Jordan. Chances are Victor Wembanyama is a bust, folks.
But those with a keen eye who know Wemby doesn’t have a chance in the NBA won’t have to worry about being wrong. They’ve forced this freakishly large creature into retirement before the games have even begun.
The San Antonio Spurs hoped to add Wembanyama, making him the immediate face of a franchise in desperate need of a savior. However, reports out of France have the athlete retiring instead.
The stunning decision was seemingly triggered after encountering his first Spurs fan on June 17, just five days before the NBA Draft. Wembanyama witnessed this crazed fanatic sell his soul, getting a fugly haircut depicting the Frenchman shown below.
But clearly, some shit was steaming behind the scenes as the Spurs were seemingly aware of Wembanyama getting cold feet days ahead of time. On the 14th, it was reported that the Spurs would hold an undescribed press conference two days after the draft, no doubt an attempt to save face following yet another embarrassment with Wembanyama ditching town.
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While the artwork depicted above played a heavy role in the decision, the initial issue stemmed from Wembanyama learning about the Spurs’ very questionable past.
Which head coach has the best win percentage in NBA history? Gregg Popovich. Which NBA team has the best win percentage of all time? The San Antonio Spurs.
So how the fuck are they in position to land the best NBA prospect since Jesus Christ built LeBron James in NBA 2K? Something’s off here, and it doesn’t take a shitload of flies flapping their wings together to figure it out.
Popovich doesn’t need Wemby’s Hall of Fame skills to build a winner. Pop has done this his entire 74-year coaching career with players far less talented than some hotshot kid with a wicked jump shot. The guy’s a dedicated lifer.
First, it was David Robinson. He did his best to stay away from the Spurs, even going to the lengths of joining the fucking Navy to do so.
Seriously, what shredded 7-footer elects to do 1,000 pushups a day on a fucking submarine instead of playing in the NBA? That’s how much D-Rob was trying to evade San Antonio. Robinson lasted two full years on that submarine, crammed in there like a fucking sardine, before being forced to join the Spurs’ circus.
Continue reading “Victor Wembanyama Retires From NBA After Learning of San Antonio Spurs’ Questionable Past”