New York Giants - A FLY ON THE BALL

Is Big Bird Coaching Atlanta Falcons?

December 19, 2023December 23, 2023 Buzz McFly

How Arthur Smith and Arthur Blank Are Giving Art a Bad Name

It’s never a good look when you lose to the worst team in football. Not only did the Atlanta Falcons fall to a Carolina Panthers team that would be hard-pressed to compete in the SEC, the Dirty Birds appear to have been grounded for good. Let’s face it, this Atlanta Falcons team is built to compete in an era before the forward pass was even legal.

Ask any bird or fly for that matter. It’s impossible to take off with clipped wings. The Falcons couldn’t move the ball through the air even if they wanted to. There have been plenty of Monday morning armchair general managers who want to blame the Atlanta Falcons quarterback room, but that just isn’t fair.

The real reason why the Falcons can’t get airborne has nothing to do with Desmond Ridder’s lack of talent, inability to read a defense, or go through his progressions. Rumor has it that Falcons head coach Arthur Smith is afraid to fly. Smith’s clear fear of flying is the primary reason he doesn’t even have a dedicated quarterbacks coach on his staff in 2023.

Just like Big Bird, Arthur Smith doesn’t have the wings or aerodynamic body type required to achieve flight. Both Big Bird and Arthur Smith have the beak and the aftermarket bug shield in place, by all accounts, they look like birds. Yet, something seems off. Something just isn’t quite right here.

Bigbird One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others GIFfrom Bigbird GIFs

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Lawrence Taylor Nominated for Snowtime Achievement Award

December 1, 2023December 5, 2023 Buzz McFly

Highlights From Accomplished NFL Career Cements Prestigious Honor For LT

If you are lucky enough to remember the 1986 Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, then Lawrence Taylor needs no introduction to you. LT was an absolute wrecking ball throughout the 1985 season on the football field. Sadly, many fans still don’t understand the toll that championship season had on Taylor.

New York Giants head coach Bill Parcells assembled a stellar staff of coaches for the 1985 NFL season, including pegging Bill Belichick as his defensive coordinator. 1985 was Belichick’s first season as the defensive coordinator of the Giants, he had already been a linebacker and special teams coach with Big Blue since 1979 up to that point.

Of course, much of Belichick’s rapid ascension in the NFL’s pecking order can probably be attributed to Lawrence Taylor’s otherworldly performance on the field. Despite Belichick’s massive success since those days, that fact has not been lost on old Bill over the years.

To this day, Bill Belichick still insists Lawrence Taylor is the greatest defensive player in the history of the NFL. Who are you to argue with the GOAT of modern head coaches? Even if you tried to make a case for somebody else, you’d lose all credibility debating against Belichick wearing a hoodie with the sleeves ripped off like a dollar store special. To quote Kendrick Lamar, “Sit down. Be humble.”

You don’t have to be a football guru to see Lawrence Taylor played like a man possessed by something on the football field. Just check out any LT highlight reel while you do a little line dancing of your own so you can feel the impact of every bone-crunching big hit.

Lawrence Taylor Big Hit Meme — Think you could handle a big hit from Lawrence Taylor?

If you want proof that cocaine fueled Taylor to a Hall Of Fame football career, it’s all right here. As a personal hero of mine, LT’s story inspires me to seek a big ol’ pile of blow to land in and see if a goddamn fly can make it in the NFL. It’s time for old Buzz McFly to hit the shake weight room.

Lawrence Taylor Shake Weight Meme — Official Lawrence Taylor Shake Weight Endorsement Photo Shoot

Unfortunately, according to Taylor, Buzz McFly wouldn’t get away with it:

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New York Giants Offensive Coordinator Mike Kafka Exiled to Island of Misfit Toys

November 10, 2023December 5, 2023 Buzz McFly

Giants Fans Want Mike Kafka Relieved of Play-Calling Duties Immediately

It’s no secret that New York Giants offensive coordinator Mike Kafka spends his time off the football field as one of the most evil people on the planet, Lex Luthor. The very first time you see Kafka’s satanic eyebrows, you’re left wondering when Spock went full bald eagle. At least when Kafka gets fired from the Giants, he will be able to resume his role as Spock in the upcoming Star Trek film:

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Josh McDaniels Eats Himself Out of Las Vegas Raiders Head Coaching Job

November 8, 2023June 16, 2024 Buzz McFly

The Real Truth Behind the Termination of Josh McDaniels

It’s been just over a week since the Las Vegas Raiders made the decision to fire Josh McDaniels as their head football coach. As is always the case, the dust still hasn’t settled while the internet runs wild with speculation regarding what really happened behind closed doors.

Luckily, A Fly On The Ball caught wind of everything that went down. To say there are always flies lurking around the Raiders facilities would be an understatement.

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NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31

October 27, 2023December 15, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

As even your girlfriend will tell you, there’s no period like the NFL trade deadline. This year, that spooky time of the month comes on Oct. 31, and as always, there are plenty of teams looking to shake up their rosters. Which NFL players are on the trade block? Who’s most likely to be traded before Tuesday’s deadline?

Here’s a fresh pile of what A Fly On The Ball’s locker room sources chewed out, including NFL players guaranteed to be traded in 2023.

Searching For Funny Fantasy Football Team Names?

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Brandon Staley Calls Fire Department To Report Flames Under His Seat

September 21, 2023December 16, 2023 Buzz McFly

Los Angeles Chargers Head Coach Already On Hot Seat

What happens when you are a defensive-minded head coach in the NFL who has one of the elite young quarterbacks in the league? High expectations. Both the fans and front office expect the defense to keep its young gunslinger in every single game. Unfortunately, for Brandon Staley and the Los Angeles Chargers, Justin Herbert can’t sling it and play defense. It’s not his job.

Things haven’t exactly been going smoothly for the Bolts this season, which only adds fuel to the fire after the Chargers lost their Wild Card playoff game in historical fashion last season. Even Staley is feeling the pressure, which is why he called his local fire department to report flames under his seat after watching film of his squad’s latest loss.

Once the fire department arrived, they could not find any signs of a potential fire whatsoever. As a result, the LAFD recommended Staley seek professional help to help him with his panic attacks, Todd Haley-level paranoia, and hallucinogenic trauma. Even the LAFD can see the writing on the wall, they want him fired just as much as the rest of Los Angeles.

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How Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

September 13, 2023December 21, 2023 Buzz McFly

Yikes. The 2023 NFL Season kicked off with an upset and it’s no secret Patrick Mahomes looks like he’s in mid-season form. He was slinging it like the MVP he is out there but somehow the Kansas City Chiefs couldn’t get balls deep in the end zone like they’re used to.

On a Thursday night season opener in a very hostile Arrowhead Stadium, the Detroit Lions came out of the locker room ready to get physical. They played hard-nosed football for 60 minutes but even they tried to give the Chiefs the game several times.

While marching down the field and shoving the football down the throats of the Chiefs’ defense during the 2023 NFL Season Kickoff Game, the Lions Goffed up a snap and somehow recovered. Then, just as Lions fans could taste the end zone, Marvin Jones Jr. Goffed up the football to give Mahomes another chance. That’s when things got a little weird.

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Pro Football Hall of Fame Realizes Monumental Mistake With Ronde Barber HOF Induction

August 16, 2023November 26, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

On a memorable summer afternoon in early August, Ronde Barber and eight other legends were inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. For many, like the Barber family, it’s a day they’ll celebrate forever. But for the Pro Football Hall of Fame, it’s a day they’ll never forget due to their monumental mistake.

Ronde and Tiki Barber are identical twins born seven minutes apart. But once they took to the gridiron, the individualities couldn’t be more different.

Tiki, the all-purpose running back who found joy in fumbling the Giants’ Super Bowl chances away, and Ronde, the hard-hitting cornerback who actually did have what it takes to win a Lombardi Trophy, led quite different NFL careers.

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How the New York Giants Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

July 31, 2023December 5, 2023 Buzz McFly

Dexter Lawrence is going to be balls deep in every opposing team’s backfield on almost every snap. That means all the New York Giants need to do is pound the fucking rock. Over and over again. Rinse. Repeat.

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Manning Infant Signs Largest NIL Deal in Sports History

July 29, 2023September 21, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

When you know, you know. That’s the case with the latest golden arm to drop out of the womb. That’s right. There’s another Manning in town.

First, it was Archie Manning. Then came his sons Peyton and Eli Manning. Later, the grandson, Arch Manning, son of Cooper. Now another legend has been crafted.

Sure, this newest Manning may still be in the infant stage, but he’s already under the spotlight, thanks to signing the largest Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL) endorsement deal in sports history.

The actual terms of the agreement have not yet been disclosed, but it’s clear we have another winner here, folks. The five-star recruit is already projected to be the No. 1 pick in the 2044 NFL Draft by the Cleveland Browns or Detroit Lions if they’re still allowed to continue their attempt at avoiding their first Super Bowl appearance.

Yet, there’s always hope of this Manning phenom pulling an Eli power move, refusing to play for such a shitty franchise like the Los Angeles Chargers.

For now, all we can do is plan to save up for front-row tickets to all his football sporting events. It is not yet known which elementary school he will attend, but you can imagine the enticing offers he’s already considering from programs across the nation.

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