MLB Hit Peak Popularity During Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa Era
In a groundbreaking move to inject some much-needed adrenaline into America’s former favorite pastime, Major League Baseball is contemplating a radical new strategy in an effort to put more butts in the bleachers: legalizing steroids. Believe it or not, there is a serious conversation going on behind closed doors: should MLB legalize steroids?
This controversial new proposal suggests that allowing players to bulk up could reignite the spark that once made baseball the nation’s favorite sport. The data MLB is using to fuel this debate is the legendary 1998 home run race which kept fans tuned into the season like never before. And, sadly, never again since.
Who could ever forget the great home run race of 1998? This was the last time baseball was as electrifying as a Fourth of July fireworks display. The stage was set for a historic showdown between two of the most honorable sluggers of all time, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. They were jacked to the tits:
Even though Sammy Sosa looked like he should play linebacker for the Bears instead of the Chicago Cubs, the league was on fire. One might even say baseball was on one. A true roid rage for MLB was in full effect with plenty of juice waiting to be squeezed in terms of revenue for the league.
Throughout the 1998 season, fans were on the edge of their seats while popcorn was flying all over the place. Weiners were slipping in and out of buns at every ballpark as these behemoths of baseball battled it out.
Who could blame fans for tuning in? Every batter was swinging their shrunken nuts for the fences like Negan, armed with nothing more than a Louisville Slugger. Pure anarchy all summer long driven by a psychotic desire to be the king of the hill.
As the home runs soared, so did TV ratings. Suddenly, baseball was back in the spotlight, stealing thunder away from the NBA and the NFL. It was a golden era for the old dusty diamond catcher’s mitt. Every swing seemed like a scene from a superhero movie, the only things missing were masks and capes.
Speaking of heroes, Mark McGwire, then of the St. Louis Cardinals, set the all-time home run mark with 70 dingers on September 27, 1998. Talk about powerlifting your way to the finish line with no quit!
Of course, McGwire’s single season home run record didn’t stand long. Barry Bonds went on a roid rage for the ages three years later. Bonds hit 73 home runs during the 2001 season and nobody has come close to reaching that number since. Not even with Bob Manfred’s juiced balls.
As for the 1998 home run race, it went down to the wire. Sosa finished the season only four dingers behind McGwire with 66 homers. Ken Griffey Junior somehow finished the season in third place with 56 homers despite never using roids throughout his brilliant career. The Kid was a true natural.
Since 1998, MLB has unsuccessfully tried everything it can think of to regain the magic of the steroid era. They even tried juicing the baseballs during the 2019 season but that caused a whole new level of conspiracies and controversies for the league without coming close to overcoming the NFL or NBA in ratings.
In the end, no matter how many times MLB fidgets with their balls, they can’t seem to bring the magic of the Bonds, McGwire, and Sosa era back to ballparks. They know as much as anyone that their game lacks juice. That era’s popularity haunts baseball to this day.
Like Viagra fizzling out before getting you to the finish line, the glory days of baseball have long since gone flaccid. Unfortunately, juiced baseballs tarnished the record books, forever questioning the integrity of the game. How many different seasons has the MLB been juicing their balls?
As soon as fans caught wind that Robert Manfred Junior’s balls were juiced, they turned their backs on the sport they once worshiped. Manfred made the decision to use both of his balls during the 2021 season. Attendance plummeted faster than a poorly thrown knuckleball, leaving stadiums echoing with the melancholic cries of vendors peddling hot dogs and nuts to empty seats full of crickets.
“Beer here, ice cold beer!”
– Vendors Shouting at Crickets in Baseball Stadiums Everywhere
How much longer can baseball continue its downward spiral to becoming completely impotent? Just like a huge NFL hit, emphatic NBA throw-down, or an NHL fight, baseball needs a little extra testosterone to get back on top again.
Imagine a world where players are not only encouraged to bulk up but applauded for it. Picture outfielders resembling Greek gods and pitchers hurling fastballs at speeds previously reserved for fighter jets. Sluggers would go on juiced benders like never before!
Just take a look at how popular wrestling is, all those Neanderthals juice and fans could care less. Those bloodthirsty fans sell out stadiums just to get closer to some juiced WWE Smackdown action. If it works for wrestling, why couldn’t it work for baseball? MLB should go full WWE if it wants to move the decibel meter for fans again.
Legalizing steroids could be the shot in the ass that baseball desperately needs. No longer would fans be subjected to snooze-inducing low-scoring games. Instead, every at-bat would be a showdown between fully torqued swat sultans with balls flying out of the park faster than you can say BALCO.
Critics may argue that this proposal goes against the spirit of fair play and sportsmanship. Yet, ratings remain king. Everywhere. This is the ultimate era of entertainment, baby! Bigger, faster, and stronger is the only name of the game. If Hollywood can CGI its way to box office success, why can’t baseball embrace a little chemical assistance to get back in the game?
It’s time to raise your oversized foam fingers in salute to a brave new world of baseball, where the only thing juiced more than the players is going to be the pandemonium. MLB, it’s time to finally legalize steroids and watch America’s pastime become the world’s obsession once again.
Besides enshrining Pete Rose and Barry Bonds in the Hall of Fame, legalizing steroids is the only way MLB can make up for juicing the baseballs. MLB was secretly juicing their balls behind closed doors while making everyone believe baseball records are all about integrity. Shame on you, MLB. It’s time to win fans back by juicing your players, not your balls.
After all, if it worked for McGwire and Sosa in ’98, and especially for the newly untarnished legacy of Barry Bonds in 2001, who’s to say it won’t work for the great sluggers and roiders of tomorrow? Besides, who doesn’t love the long ball?
We already know Bob Manfred loves long balls. It’s okay, Bobby, you can make your private obsession with long balls known to the public by just doing the right thing. Legalize even longer balls for everyone to see!
Should MLB Legalize Steroids? Robert Manfred’s Long Balls Say Yes!
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Buzz McFly hears all the latest buzz through his impressive network consisting of millions of flies swarming near every pile of shit in the entire world. When shit goes down, Buzz has eyes on the scene waiting to bask in the latest filth and dirt. Growing up an avid sports fan, his credibility in the field is second to none. He comes from a long line of spectator sporting event reporters willing to lay it all on the line for a fresh scoop of the latest news before it breaks wind anywhere else.
