SPORTS MEMES, SATIRE & PARODY
The entire football world remains shocked that Tom Brady hasn’t announced he’s coming out of retirement yet. As everybody else is waiting for Brady to announce his comeback for another season, we’ve recently learned there may be more going on behind the scenes than meets the fly.
Continue reading “Tom Brady Busy Tossing Kim Kardashian’s Salad, Not Footballs”
We’ve all heard of Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Ray Allen, Stephen Curry, and several others when evaluating basketball’s greatest shooter of all time. But who’s the best shot-maker in basketball right now?
Move over Steph Curry, Sabrina Ionescu is now the best shooter in basketball, and after Friday’s jamboree, there’s no debating it.
For anyone with their head under a rock, Ionescu is one of many WNBA superstars. She’s also the face of the New York Liberty, who win a lot more than the Knicks do.
Continue reading “Sabrina Ionescu Proves She’s Basketball’s Best Shooter”
With the NFL deadline for players to sign their franchise tag tenders fast approaching, there are plenty of rumors circulating around Saquon Barkley. As one of the most dynamic running backs in football, everyone in the league is paying close attention to how this situation plays out.
As of the time this article was published, Saquon Barkley still has not signed his franchise tag offer or a long-term deal with the New York Giants. In the past, he has made it clear that his desire is to work out a long-term deal with the Giants. As far as everyone can tell, that feeling is mutual.
Any tagged player who does not sign a multiyear deal with their team by July 17 at 4 pm ET is kind of left between a rock and a hard place. By NFL rules, any unsigned tagged player must either play the 2023 season under the franchise tag terms or be forced to forfeit the tag’s guaranteed salary by electing to sit out the season.
Although it would be a massive disappointment for both football and Giants fans to be deprived of a hangry Saquon terrorizing defenses on Sundays, you shouldn’t be pointing fingers at Barkley if that becomes a reality.
There’s a lot of leaks that happen when it comes to contract disputes. All of these so-called leaks have origins, just not sources anybody is willing to attach their names or reputations to. That’s when you know the rumors swirling are mostly bullshit or fueled by an agenda that has nothing to do with the negotiations or players and teams involved.
When it comes to the contract dispute between the Giants and Saquon, you are dealing with two extremely professional sides of the negotiation table. These are classy people on both sides of the table.
There is no way Saquon and his representatives are leaking anything because where would that get them? Nobody is trying to win a publicity stunt here. There’s too much loyalty at stake.
Historically, the Giants tend to keep things behind closed doors. Joe Schoen certainly doesn’t have interest in publicly ruffling the feathers of one of the team’s most beloved current players. It’s a lose-lose for either side to leak any kind of story regarding these negotiations. Especially one painting the other party in a negative light.
So, why are there caps swirling from nearly every talking asshole with an opinion regarding Saquon Barkley’s contract negotiations? Half the time, you have talking heads spewing opinions as facts that mislead most of the public.
The other half of the time, you have fans with extremely selective hearing or limited comprehension skills. They hear, read, and regurgitate every sports story with their own unique spin on it. After that, stories tend to take on a life of their own.
Trolling fans and the bullshit they spread online are literally the biggest source of fake news on the entire planet. They really ought to be ashamed of themselves. Who would ever resort to circulating fake news or false rumors on the internet? Damn trolls!
However, uninformed fans with a penchant for putting a little English on the ol’ spin aren’t the only ones to blame. There certainly have been some wild negotiation stories spreading from the tweets heard between the sheets.
However, if you want the real story behind the Saquon Barkley contract situation, you’ll need to check your security clearance at the door. If you somehow lost your clearance badge, don’t worry, we’ve had A Fly On The Ball behind the scenes, ready with the full scoop.
There are primarily three factors behind why the New York Football Giants and Saquon Barkley are struggling to come to terms. None of it has to do with greed, at least not on Saquon’s part. That dude has already earned every penny he has coming to him and then some.
The first reason Saquon and the Giants haven’t reached a deal yet is because…
Continue reading “The REAL Story Behind The Saquon Barkley Contract Situation”
When will somebody from The Last Frontier start a petition to get an NHL team? You literally don’t even have to build an arena, just drop the puck on a glacier somewhere. Let’s play hockey. I’m sure the NHL will send a Zamboni your way and you can probably just find somebody from Ice Road Truckers to run that ice-cold rig.
Continue reading “Why Doesn’t Alaska Have an NHL Team Yet?”
Few things can spike ratings more than controversy, which is literally the only reason Skip Bayless still has a job on television. At a time when ESPN is slashing payroll faster than it takes Michael Myers to find his knife, the freakshow Bayless is somehow commanding a ridiculous salary from FOX Sports.
Skip Bayless is known for his hot takes that sound like they were schemed by a psychopathic contrarian, just to gauge reactions. In modern times, these controversial takes make waves while the entire world looks to Twitter or wherever the Scarecrow talking head is spewing his bullshit.
The irony here is that Skip actually thinks he is a well-liked guy with popular opinions. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the whole world is actually making fun of Bayless, not laughing with him.
When it comes to pretty much anything, this guy is the dictionary definition of a shithead. Here are the 4 reasons why Skip Bayless is full of shit:
Continue reading “4 Reasons Why Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit”
Zion Williamson is just four years into his NBA career, and at this point, he’s known more for what he does off the court than on the waxed wood. It’s a hard but honest truth for the former No. 1 overall pick out of Duke.
Williamson grinded through just 29 games last season because he was consumed with banging out the best sex tape we’ve seen since Reggie Bush teamed up with Kim Kardashian for a memorable and inspiring performance. Scouts say this explosive tale has the potential to win Oscars.
Continue reading “Zion Williamson Gives Up Sex To Take NBA Career Seriously”
The great hockey forefathers always knew this day would come and it’s finally here. Back in 1875, Canada claimed it invented the sport of ice hockey. Maybe that’s true but the country’s performance on the ice at the sport’s highest level says otherwise.
Continue reading “Stanley Cup Finally Belongs to America for 30 Consecutive Years”
It’s finally happened folks. Aliens are here in Las Vegas, just in time for the NBA Summer League action. But there’s no reason to worry because it turns out they’re big basketball fans too.
Perhaps it’s time to rewatch Space Jam and reconsider the possibility that Michael Jordan and the Tune Squad teaming up with Newman from Seinfeld was indeed a true story instead of a silly fairytale meant to entertain.
Could you imagine if Jordan actually got stuck and had to become the latest, greatest attraction on Moron Mountain? The Bulls would have never had their historic threepeat from 1996-98. Clearly, he had some additional fuel that we didn’t learn about until years later.
But enough about MJ. Back to the fucking aliens man.
Continue reading “Aliens Arrive in Basketball-Shaped Spaceship at NBA Summer League in Las Vegas”
From getting booed at every single NFL Draft to drawing the ire of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, it’s clear that absolutely nobody in the entire world respects or likes Roger Goodell. It seems as though other NFL owners are beginning to form a coup against Goodell as Jolly Roger’s welcome is wearing thin.
Appointed as the commissioner in 2006 by default, Goodell literally fell ass-backward into the sport’s most elusive gig: being the ultimate ball-licker to billionaires. Have you ever tasted the salty sweetness of billionaire balls? Well, Roger Goodell has, and he keeps lining up for more.
When legendary Hall of Fame commish Paul Tagliabue retired in 2006, a massive void was left behind. There was no doubt it was going to be impossible to fill Paul’s shoes. From 1989 to 2006, he oversaw one of the greatest eras in the history of football.
During this time, Paul allowed the John Madden video game franchise to raise the sport to new heights forever. That move alone catapulted football in front of baseball as America’s new favorite pastime, and nobody is interested in looking back anymore. Once steroids left baseball, people stopped watching.
However, the NFL is not as dumb as they look. They had a plan grooming for Paul’s eventual replacement long before Tagliabue ever became the commish. This leads us to the very first of three conclusive pieces of evidence providing proof that Roger Goodell is actually a clown:
Continue reading “Proof That Roger Goodell Is Actually a Clown”
A few people think Stephen Curry is good for the NBA, but they couldn’t be more wrong. While it’s true that Curry changed basketball, we can all agree he hasn’t positively influenced the game.
Chef Curry has completely wrecked the future of basketball. We may not see it yet, but eventually, there will be no more dunkers. The Dunk Contest? We’re already seeing it phased out. When was the last time you saw a truly jaw-dropping dunk?
It’s because no one even knows how to throw it down anymore. Think about it. The young generation is smart. They can do basic math. For everyone else, the numbers don’t quite match up. Here’s why:
Continue reading “How Stephen Curry Ruined the NBA”
