SPORTS MEMES, SATIRE & PARODY
🪰 Come Get A Parody’s Nuts With A Fly On The Ball Exposing Tweets That Didn’t Age Well 💩 Tweets Of Shame Sports News Comedy, Parody, and Celebrity Roasts 💩
During the 2023 NFL Season, Denver Broncos head coach Sean Payton made a bold fashion statement with his Elton John glasses. In case you’re wondering why he decided to wear such outlandish frames, it’s because he loves sitting back and playing piano like a “Candle in the Wind”.
Continue reading “Sean Payton Auditions for Elton John Cover Band”
Jimmy Butler and the Miami Heat are coming off yet another disappointing season after being eliminated from the NBA Playoffs by the Boston Celtics. The pathetic 2024 Heat playoff run ended after only five games.
To say Butler has off-court distractions would be an understatement considering he did not play in a single game for the Heat against the Celtics. Jimmy didn’t care if the Heat won or lost, he’s more worried about whether he’ll get a max contract this off-season. Playoffs? Jimmy only gets off by not playing these days!
On top of that, Butler has his eye on becoming the lead singer of a new group, perhaps even away from Miami, if necessary. Word on the street is, the “Jimmy Butler demands trade from the Miami Heat” talk is circulating because he doesn’t like their setlist anymore:
The Jimmy Butler era in Miami could be ‘nearing a tipping point,’ per @davidaldridgedc
— NBACentral (@TheDunkCentral) May 3, 2024
“There have been murmurings this year that Butler and the Heat may no longer be singing from the same hymnal. Butler, famously, does things his way, and Miami’s organization, famously, does… pic.twitter.com/h2R3HJ09wF
It’s no secret Jimmy has been a secret admirer of emo music since its inception, but it wasn’t always known publicly. Butler decided to finally make his emo obsession public by showing up with a new hairstyle at the NBA’s media day before the start of the 2023-24 season.
The paparazzi came out in full force while everyone was ready to roll out the red carpet for Kimmy Butler, the newest lead singer in every underground emo band you’ve probably never heard of. Like, whatever. It’s not like a big deal or anything…
Since then, Butler has become a bit of an emo celebrity. Now, Jimmy is trying to decide how to balance his basketball career with his emo priorities while capitalizing on his newfound fame. When you really think about it, Jimmy’s love for emo was always obvious considering his constant teenager-like behavior.
Continue reading “Emo Jimmy Butler Demands Trade”
When it comes to inadvertent, unadulterated soundbites, it’s becoming clear that Charles Barkley is The Round Mound of Knuckleheads. Even though he is far removed from his playing days as an undersized and overweight forward in the NBA, Barkley still continues to deliver highlight reels for the ages on a nightly basis.
Unfortunately, Barkley’s lackadaisical approach to working out and his hatred for the gym ultimately did him in as a player. His lack of discipline became obvious as he struggled to stay in shape over the course of his career. When asked what his typical workout routine was as a player, Barkley eagerly provided a demonstration using a Shake Weight:
Surprisingly, despite Barkley’s athletically challenged physique, he was actually a halfway decent basketball player back when he could still reach his toes to lace them up. During his NBA career, he waxed glass to the tune of 12,546 rebounds, proving Barkley’s knack for chasing balls. Sir Charles was so good at grabbing balls in a crowd that he earned an immortal nickname: The Round Mound of Rebound.
As a result, Chuck always had balls in his hands but he also knew how to use his clappers to score. In fact, Ball Hog Barkley scored a total of 23,757 points throughout his playing career. That takes a lot of balls. Nobody doubts Barkley’s ability to find the hole and get it in there.
Continue reading “Charles Barkley Is The Round Mound of Knuckleheads”
Do you remember the Mighty Ducks? Unfortunately for hockey fans, the NHL has long forgotten the glory days of this once proud franchise. Long gone are the Finnish Flash days of Teemu Selänne flying down the ice while Paul Kariya sets the table.
Instead of watching a great celly by Selänne or Kariya, the Anaheim Ducks are currently putting the finishing touches on another pathetic year as the 2023-2024 NHL season comes to a close. Their duck bills didn’t even come close to sniffing the playoffs, yet again.
At the time of publishing this article, the Ducks sit in seventh place of the Pacific Division with 54 measly points on the season. Their record is an even bigger quack job with 25 wins, 48 losses, and four overtime losses. Coaches around hockey are already cracking wise while taking low blows at the expense of the Ducks:
“Anybody could beat these pansies!”
– Coach Jack Reilly, Hawks
Yet, there seems to be no end in sight for this ragtag group of amateurs. Their downward spiral to the bottom of the NHL Western Conference standings continues at a record pace. Even former Mighty Ducks are chiming in on the dookie being dropped by Anaheim this season:
Continue reading “Anaheim Ducks Install Flying V To Become Mighty Ducks Again”
In a groundbreaking move to inject some much-needed adrenaline into America’s former favorite pastime, Major League Baseball is contemplating a radical new strategy in an effort to put more butts in the bleachers: legalizing steroids. Believe it or not, there is a serious conversation going on behind closed doors: should MLB legalize steroids?
This controversial new proposal suggests that allowing players to bulk up could reignite the spark that once made baseball the nation’s favorite sport. The data MLB is using to fuel this debate is the legendary 1998 home run race which kept fans tuned into the season like never before. And, sadly, never again since.
Who could ever forget the great home run race of 1998? This was the last time baseball was as electrifying as a Fourth of July fireworks display. The stage was set for a historic showdown between two of the most honorable sluggers of all time, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. They were jacked to the tits:
Continue reading “Should MLB Legalize Steroids to Get Fans Jacked About Baseball Again?”
Lamar Jackson is an MVP, but one of the biggest issues plaguing the Baltimore Ravens during the superstar’s NFL career is a lack of elite receivers. Sure, Justin Tucker scores more points than anyone. But aside from Mark Andrews and Zay Flowers, Jackson doesn’t really have anyone to throw to.
The solution is obvious and Hall of Fame scout, GM, and Super Bowl champion Bill Polian nailed it years ago when discussing Jackson’s NFL Draft prospects. Here was Polian’s wise advice.
Continue reading “Bill Polian Was Right About Lamar Jackson + How To Make the Baltimore Ravens the NFL’s Best”
It’s another day that ends with the letter Y which means it’s another opportunity for Draymond Green to tarnish whatever he thinks his legacy is. To say Green has been out of control lately would be an understatement. Plenty of people are already saying the Golden State Warriors would be better off without Green’s costly distractions, behavior, and off-court drama.
There are even a few voices calling for the NBA to issue a lifetime ban to Green after his latest fiasco. Why not? If Pete Rose can still be banned from baseball after legalizing sports gambling, why not throw the book at this bozo, Draymond Green? Adam Silver has already issued an indefinite suspension for Green’s latest low blow to the NBA’s non-violent public relations effort.
It’s clear the NBA has a discipline problem, they are not coming down hard enough on players such as Ja Morant of the Memphis Grizzlies and Draymond. Players think they can do whatever they want, including brandishing weapons in public or physically ambushing other players on the basketball court, because there are no consequences.
Speaking of Morant, in a matter of only one month, Green has made the entire NBA community completely forget about how immature Ja is. It all began when Draymond Green put Rudy Gobert of the Minnesota Timberwolves in a headlock during a matchup on November 14:
Continue reading “Draymond Green Punching Below Weight Class and Still Losing”
Looking back, Patrick Mahomes, Head Coach Andy Reid, and the Kansas City Chiefs have shared a lot of fond memories and success together over the years. The best part for Chiefs Nation is they are really just getting started. Mahomes has a lot left in the tank and he is already widely considered to be one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.
If you know anything about Big Red, the Chiefs head coach has a great sense of humor. For example, who could ever forget the time a reporter asked Andy Reid to describe Patrick Mahomes’ speaking voice? Coach Reid famously responded with, “Froggish”.
Once upon a time, the Chiefs’ locker room, including Mahomes, liked to have fun with it:
Continue reading “Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice”
Standing in the blue corner, at six-foot-nine inches tall, out of LSU, Meet the Nazmanian Devil: Naz Reid of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Slouching in the red corner, shaking in their boots, is the rest of the NBA trying to figure out a way to slow this Wolves team down after winning their fifth game in a row. The Timberwolves currently hold the top spot in the NBA’s Western Conference Standings.
Minnesota Timberwolves fans are enjoying a somewhat belated revival at the Target Center this season. They are on a roll, sporting a 16-4 record after playing 20 games of their 2023-24 NBA Season. Charles Barkley and quite a few million others have plates full of crow waiting for them at the breakfast table this morning.
Despite constant negative publicity from the national media, the Wolves continue proving doubters wrong everywhere. Some people think this recent success is unusual but for Wolves fans, this resurgence is long overdue.
Over the offseason, many Wolves fans already knew what they had in Naz Reid, they’ve known about the Nazmanian Devil for years. This is a guy the entire fanbase did not want to lose even though he was set to hit free agency. In fact, a majority of Wolves fans thought Naz Reid was gone the moment the free agency window opened.
It’s no secret that Wolves fans love Naz Reid, losing him to free agency would have left hardcore fans howling at the moon for the rest of his career. When news broke that the Nazmanian Devil would be back with the Wolves for at least three more years, fans rejoiced in disbelief while letting out a collective sigh of relief.
Wolves fans are so used to players wanting to leave Minneapolis, but this guy wanted to stay? Talk about a changing of the guard. Fans certainly make their love known for the Nazmanian Devil throughout Minnesota:
Continue reading “Meet the Nazmanian Devil: Naz Reid of the Minnesota Timberwolves”
If you are lucky enough to remember the 1986 Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, then Lawrence Taylor needs no introduction to you. LT was an absolute wrecking ball throughout the 1985 season on the football field. Sadly, many fans still don’t understand the toll that championship season had on Taylor.
New York Giants head coach Bill Parcells assembled a stellar staff of coaches for the 1985 NFL season, including pegging Bill Belichick as his defensive coordinator. 1985 was Belichick’s first season as the defensive coordinator of the Giants, he had already been a linebacker and special teams coach with Big Blue since 1979 up to that point.
Of course, much of Belichick’s rapid ascension in the NFL’s pecking order can probably be attributed to Lawrence Taylor’s otherworldly performance on the field. Despite Belichick’s massive success since those days, that fact has not been lost on old Bill over the years.
To this day, Bill Belichick still insists Lawrence Taylor is the greatest defensive player in the history of the NFL. Who are you to argue with the GOAT of modern head coaches? Even if you tried to make a case for somebody else, you’d lose all credibility debating against Belichick wearing a hoodie with the sleeves ripped off like a dollar store special. To quote Kendrick Lamar, “Sit down. Be humble.”
You don’t have to be a football guru to see Lawrence Taylor played like a man possessed by something on the football field. Just check out any LT highlight reel while you do a little line dancing of your own so you can feel the impact of every bone-crunching big hit.
If you want proof that cocaine fueled Taylor to a Hall Of Fame football career, it’s all right here. As a personal hero of mine, LT’s story inspires me to seek a big ol’ pile of blow to land in and see if a goddamn fly can make it in the NFL. It’s time for old Buzz McFly to hit the shake weight room.
Unfortunately, according to Taylor, Buzz McFly wouldn’t get away with it:
Continue reading “Lawrence Taylor Nominated for Snowtime Achievement Award”
