Category: NFL Memes

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How the Jacksonville Jaguars Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Jacksonville Jaguars can get balls deep this year - Trevor Lawrence Goes Balls Deep with Hippies - with Text - Final

When you have the fuckin’ Jesus on your bowling team, you never lose. It’s a league game, Smokey, there are rules. This isn’t ‘Nam, but nobody knows what it’s like to smell napalm in the morning more than Trevor Lawrence. T-Law be droppin’ bombs all day. He is the fuckin’ Jesus, man.

That’s why the Jacksonville Jaguars will have no problem getting balls deep in that end zone all season long. In fact, the Jaguars are the obvious pick to win the AFC South by a longshot. Who knows? If Lawrence and the Shaguars get hot, they might even have what it takes to finally let ‘em hang.

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How the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Can Get Balls Deep In That End Zone - Baker Mayfield Brings The Clap To Tampa Bay

Tom Brady is busy tossing salad, not footballs. That means the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have a very slim chance of getting balls deep in that end zone this year. Baker Mayfield? Are you fucking kidding me?

Listen, if you’re debating between Mayfield and Kyle Trask as your starting quarterback, you’re not getting balls deep into anything this year. Sorry Tampa, it’s going to be a while before you let ‘em hang again. At least you have two in the rafters, that’s more than the Buffalo Bills will ever have.

Not to rain on your parade, but rumor has it that not even Mayfield’s ex-wife thinks he can score anymore. If you are a Bucs fan, do you really think Baker can put a dozen in the oven each game, or do you think he doesn’t have the yeast? 

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3 Reasons Why the Jacksonville Jaguars Will Never Win a Super Bowl

Harvey Ballbanger
Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jacksonville Jaguars are tied for being the third-youngest franchise in the NFL, so it’s understandable that they have yet to win a Super Bowl. Then again, if the Baltimore Ravens can do it, there’s no excuse for the Jaguars’ perpetual failures. As we saw back in 2014 when the Jaguars drafted Blake Bortles over Derek Carr, Aaron Donald, or Zack Martin, settling for less is just what Jacksonville does.

Yet, fans still have hope, and why shouldn’t they? Trevor Lawrence is him. Everyone always thinks Jesus is coming back. Little do they know he’s finally arrived in Duval County. But does that mean the Jags have what it takes to shag a Super Bowl? Not now, and not ever. Here’s why.

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3 Reasons Why the Buffalo Bills Will Never Win a Super Bowl

Harvey Ballbanger
Buffalo Bills

If there’s one team that deserves to win a Super Bowl more than any other NFL franchise, it’s the Buffalo Bills, hands down. As Bills Mafia knows all too well, Buffalo has a long, storied history in the NFL’s biggest game. But it’s not a tale anyone wants to re-live.

Despite existing since the first Super Bowl was played back in 1967, the Bills have never earned a Lombardi Trophy. It’s not like they haven’t tried. The Bills have given it their all, becoming just one of two teams to lose all four times they’ve reached the final stage. Aside from maybe following the Cleveland Browns, it doesn’t get any worse than being a Bills fan. 

Let’s be honest. Bills Mafia deserves a Super Bowl for their trolling alone. This is the best fanbase in football. But trophies aren’t won by fans busting their asses by launching into tables in the classiest ways. Not that the Bills would know what it takes to win anything. Even though you won’t find a team more desperate, here are three reasons why the Bills will never achieve their goal of winning a Super Bowl.

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How the Denver Broncos Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Denver Broncos can get balls deep - Sean Payton Can't Get Balls Deep Without Bounties

Sean Payton is an ignorant egotistical asshole. There is also evidence suggesting he is a psychopath from his time overlooking the Bountygate-era New Orleans Saints.

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How the New England Patriots Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the New England Patriots can get balls deep in that end zone - Mac Jones Can't Get Balls Deep

It’s no secret that Bill Belichick has assembled a top-notch defense for the New England Patriots, yet again. However, their offensive struggles have been well-documented since the departure of a certain Tom Brady. To be blunt, it’s been a while since the Patriots have gone balls deep in the playoffs so they can let ‘em hang again.

Unfortunately, Brady is too distracted to play football right now which means the Patriots’ offense is stuck with Mac Jones. Everyone knows Mac Jones can’t get balls deep. Malik Cunningham looks like the only player willing to jumpstart some life into this stagnant offense. 

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How the Detroit Lions Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Detroit Lions can get balls deep in that end zone - Dan Campbell Goes Balls Deep with Lions

No one will ever get balls deeper in that end zone than Dan Orlovsky in the history of the Detroit Lions. However, the 2023 Lions might actually win a few games. In fact, they almost could have had what it takes to compete for the NFC North crown.

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How the Baltimore Ravens Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Baltimore Ravens can get balls deep - Lamar Jackson goes balls deep

Lamar Jackson is back. Without Jackson, the Baltimore Ravens would suck balls. With LJ, the Ravens will have no trouble getting balls deep in that end zone this year. You can say whatever you want about Jackson, as long as your name isn’t Bill Polian. 

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Zach Wilson Starring in Milf Hunter and Goes Balls Deep for the New York Jets

Buzz McFly

It’s no secret that Aaron Rodgers is using medicinal remedies to keep him potent for the 2023 NFL season. Ironically, Zach Wilson is starring in an adult film, Milf Hunter. Wilson literally goes balls deep into Mia Khalifa, Lisa Ann, and every anal queen you’ve ever seen. In fact, Slick Willy is literally fucking your mom’s ass right now.

It’s clear at this point, Wilson is ready to step in and fill the shoes of Rodgers when Aaron finally goes limp. Hey, Viagra eventually wears off. Just ask around.

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How the Cincinnati Bengals Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Cincinnati Bengals Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone - Joe Burrow Goes Balls Deep with Bengals

With a healthy Joe, the Cincinnati Bengals can Burrow themselves into any end zone. Unfortunately, Joe Burrow has a lingering calf injury that is casting some serious doubt about how the Bengals can get balls deep in that end zone this year.

Everyone in Bengals Nation is eager to see Joey B. throwing balls deep to Ja’Marr Chase. It’s literally the secret formula. Burrow has a strong enough arm to keep Tee Higgins happy and there should be enough balls for Irv Smith Jr., if the athletic tight end can stay on the field for a change.

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