SPORTS MEMES, SATIRE & PARODY
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Jimmy Butler recently used the NBA’s media day to unveil a new look while announcing his retirement from being a man to focus on his new emo band, Jimmy Escapes World. It’s no secret the Miami Heat are in a difficult position entering the 2023-24 NBA season. Butler’s shocking retirement certainly isn’t going to help.
Continue reading “Jimmy Butler Retires from NBA to Start Emo Band”
Few things can spike ratings more than controversy, which is literally the only reason Skip Bayless still has a job on television. At a time when ESPN is slashing payroll faster than it takes Michael Myers to find his knife, the freakshow Bayless is somehow commanding a ridiculous salary from FOX Sports.
Skip Bayless is known for his hot takes that sound like they were schemed by a psychopathic contrarian, just to gauge reactions. In modern times, these controversial takes make waves while the entire world looks to Twitter or wherever the Scarecrow talking head is spewing his bullshit.
The irony here is that Skip actually thinks he is a well-liked guy with popular opinions. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the whole world is actually making fun of Bayless, not laughing with him.
When it comes to pretty much anything, this guy is the dictionary definition of a shithead. Here are the 4 reasons why Skip Bayless is full of shit:
Continue reading “4 Reasons Why Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit”
Nikola Jokić just led the Denver Nuggets to the 2022-23 NBA championship. He is on top of the world but he doesn’t plan on staying in Denver very long. A Fly On The Ball was buzzing around the team’s championship celebration last night and overheard some stirring comments from someone described with a very distinct Serbian accent:
“Playing this season made me realize how much I miss my horses. Horses have such a short lifespan compared to us, I don’t want to waste the best years of my life playing a meaningless game.”
– Voice with Distinct Serbian Accent
First of all, congratulations to Nikola Jokić and the Denver Nuggets for winning the ‘chip. This was Denver’s first NBA Finals appearance in franchise history. The fact that these quotes are circulating after such a glorious accomplishment is sending shockwaves throughout the sports world.
A Fly On The Ball reports hearing even more telling quotes from the same Serbian voice during the team’s championship celebration:
“I have already proven I am the best, what’s left for me to prove at this point? I have always dreamed of becoming a jockey at the Kentucky Derby. It’s finally time for me to fulfill my dream so I’m moving home, to Serbia, to begin my jockey training.”
– Voice with Same Distinct Serbian Accent
If these sources prove to be reliable, Jokić steps away as a champion in the prime of his playing career. The Joker played his heart out, taking his Denver Nuggets all the way to the 2022-23 NBA Finals and ultimately winning the Larry O’Brien trophy, all by himself. These recent quotes suggest he is satisfied with calling it a career at this point.
To be fair, the Miami Heat and Jimmy ‘Can’t Get’ Buckets looked like they did not even belong in the NBA Finals for three out of the five games. Jimmy has proven time after time that he is not capable of being a clutch player. He is a maximum-effort player, a talented hustler at best. However, he is just way too streaky to be the top scoring option on a team with championship aspirations.
Butler tried to hustle so many teams on his way out the door but here’s a big newsflash, it takes a team to win in the NBA. That is, of course, unless your name is Nikola Jokić. With his unselfish play and blue-collar attitude, Jokić proved he was the best player in the NBA on a night when the entire world was watching.
Jokić offers a refreshing image for an NBA player that’s a stark contrast from the me-first, diva demeanor of Jimmy Butler. Butler forever enshrined himself in the selfish hall of shame with his epic meltdown during a Minnesota Timberwolves practice that ended in a discreet, behind-closed-doors session with Rachel Nichols.
Even though the meeting with Nichols was ‘private,’ an intentionally leaked tape emerged to suggest Jimmy had a closer relationship with the reporter than people initially believed. There was plenty of shit-talking between players on the court that leads A Fly On The Ball to believe those rumors are indeed true.
The sad thing is, Butler was supposed to be the leader and level-headed veteran on that very young and impressionable Wolves team. Does Jimmy sound like the kind of guy you’d want in your locker room? For most teams, the answer to that question is no.
Jimmy Butler practically played himself out of the Association with his performance in this year’s NBA Finals. He looked like a washed-up never-was who couldn’t keep up with the young energy and physicality brought to the court by the Denver Nuggets.
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Jokić, on the other hand, cemented himself as a true legend of the game. As the Joker makes the transition from being a household NBA name to being just another jockey at Churchill Downs, his unselfish character will surely earn him some brownie points with his horses. Who knows, maybe he will even offer to lose some weight for the sake of his horses.
Even if Nikola doesn’t shed a few pounds, sources close to Jokić say he is really just looking to blend into society at this point in his life. A Fly On The Ball questions his choice to become the world’s first nearly seven-foot-tall jockey if he’s really just looking to fade away.
Jokić doesn’t seem to care what other people think, he just wants to get home to his horses. A fly on the scene heard his response when asked how he feels after winning the MVP and the Larry O’B in the same season:
Continue reading “Nikola Jokić Retires From NBA To Become Horse Jockey”“It’s good, it’s good. The job is done, we can go home now.”
– Nikola Jokić
