Category: Football

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Zach Wilson Starring in Milf Hunter and Goes Balls Deep for the New York Jets

Buzz McFly

It’s no secret that Aaron Rodgers is using medicinal remedies to keep him potent for the 2023 NFL season. Ironically, Zach Wilson is starring in an adult film, Milf Hunter. Wilson literally goes balls deep into Mia Khalifa, Lisa Ann, and every anal queen you’ve ever seen. In fact, Slick Willy is literally fucking your mom’s ass right now.

It’s clear at this point, Wilson is ready to step in and fill the shoes of Rodgers when Aaron finally goes limp. Hey, Viagra eventually wears off. Just ask around.

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How the Cincinnati Bengals Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Cincinnati Bengals Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone - Joe Burrow Goes Balls Deep with Bengals

With a healthy Joe, the Cincinnati Bengals can Burrow themselves into any end zone. Unfortunately, Joe Burrow has a lingering calf injury that is casting some serious doubt about how the Bengals can get balls deep in that end zone this year.

Everyone in Bengals Nation is eager to see Joey B. throwing balls deep to Ja’Marr Chase. It’s literally the secret formula. Burrow has a strong enough arm to keep Tee Higgins happy and there should be enough balls for Irv Smith Jr., if the athletic tight end can stay on the field for a change.

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How the Buffalo Bills Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Buffalo Bills Can Go Balls Deep Into That End Zone - Josh Allen goes balls deep in Buffalo

Josh Allen knows how to get it in there. As long as Allen is at the helm, the Buffalo Bills should have no problem getting balls deep in that end zone this year.

With that being said, this offense does have some question marks. For most of Bills Mafia, the question isn’t scoring, it’s about making it back to the Super Bowl for the first time since 1994. The Bills literally made it to the Super Bowl throughout four consecutive seasons from 1991 to 1994. 

Unfortunately, they managed to lose all four of them. Although they won championships back in the AFL days, everyone knows those don’t count anymore. If they did, the Cleveland Browns would actually be a relevant franchise. They’re not.

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How the Philadelphia Eagles Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Philadelphia Eagles Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year - Jalen Hurts So Good

If Jalen really wants to, he can help the Philadelphia Eagles get balls deep into that end zone until it Hurts so good. All season long. Listen, this team defied all odds and made it to the fucking Super Bowl last season.

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How the Dallas Cowboys Can Get Balls Deep in That Jerry Jones Glory Hole This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Dallas Cowboys Can Get Balls Deep in That Jerry Jones Glory Hole This Year

Dak Prescott is promising he isn’t going to throw any interceptions anymore. That should help. The Dallas Cowboys would also be wise to avoid glory holes if they really want to let ‘em hang.

To reach paydirt this season, the Dallas Cowboys need to make Zack Martin happy. What’s going on there?

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How the Indianapolis Colts Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the Indianapolis Colts can get balls deep in that end zone this year

Jim Irsay is probably dropping his phone in the toilet while attempting to snap a whiskey dick pic right now. That’s not good, he’s going to be looking for something else to do, which means he’s about to go on a bender for the ages. 

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How the New York Giants Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

Buzz McFly
How the New York Giants can get balls deep in that end zone this year

Dexter Lawrence is going to be balls deep in every opposing team’s backfield on almost every snap. That means all the New York Giants need to do is pound the fucking rock. Over and over again. Rinse. Repeat.

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3 New York Jets Hard Knocks Storylines To Watch This Season

Harvey Ballbanger
New York Jets

Every year the NFL picks one team they’d like to see get to the Super Bowl by featuring them on HBO’s Hard Knocks. Last year they wisely picked the Detroit Lions, and their Lombardi aspirations damn near came true, going from a three-win team to one with nine victories. 

Now that Aaron Rodgers is ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple, we turn our attention to the New York Jets, the NFL’s next poster child. But unfortunately, he didn’t bring a Super Bowl trophy with him, and Joe Namath isn’t suiting up any time soon. In fact, Broadway Joe couldn’t care less about how the team performs. He’s made that clear while chasing other dreams.

But it’s clear to everyone within earshot of Fireman Ed that the Jets have a Super Bowl or bust mentality heading into head coach Robert Saleh’s third season as head coach. Yet it’s been 54 years since the last time the Jets won the big game, and if you really want to get technical, they’ve never won a Super Bowl in the NFL. Pretty pathetic, huh?

None of that matters because J-E-T-S Jets! fans don’t remember the past. All they care about is what’s happening this minute and the next. And what’s next is Hard Knocks. But what will the three biggest topics be during this season’s training camp special? We have all the answers. 

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Manning Infant Signs Largest NIL Deal in Sports History

Harvey Ballbanger
Manning

When you know, you know. That’s the case with the latest golden arm to drop out of the womb. That’s right. There’s another Manning in town.

First, it was Archie Manning. Then came his sons Peyton and Eli Manning. Later, the grandson, Arch Manning, son of Cooper. Now another legend has been crafted.

Sure, this newest Manning may still be in the infant stage, but he’s already under the spotlight, thanks to signing the largest Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL) endorsement deal in sports history. 

The actual terms of the agreement have not yet been disclosed, but it’s clear we have another winner here, folks. The five-star recruit is already projected to be the No. 1 pick in the 2044 NFL Draft by the Cleveland Browns or Detroit Lions if they’re still allowed to continue their attempt at avoiding their first Super Bowl appearance. 

Yet, there’s always hope of this Manning phenom pulling an Eli power move, refusing to play for such a shitty franchise like the Los Angeles Chargers.

For now, all we can do is plan to save up for front-row tickets to all his football sporting events. It is not yet known which elementary school he will attend, but you can imagine the enticing offers he’s already considering from programs across the nation.

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4 Key Storylines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

Buzz McFly
4 Key Headlines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Whether you want to look forward or back in time, imagine this, it’s the buttcrack of dawn on a sunny August morning. You’re taking inventory of the skies, there’s only a few clouds in sight. 

It’s going to be a hot day and you can feel it as you’re trotting across the blacktop, in your socks, on your way to greener pasture. With your cleats in one hand and your helmet in the other, there’s only one question remaining, are you ready for some football?

The freshly cut field awaits for you to seize the moment of opportunity with every drop of sweat and every ounce of effort in your body. Ladies and gentlemen, football is in the air. From high school teams all the way to the pros, it’s the time of year when dreams are made or crushed, one play at a time.

There’s a haze in the air with only a slight breeze to cool you down. The high heat hasn’t hit yet but you’re already breaking a sweat under your pads. With gnats nibbling at your ankles, you begin to dig your cleats into the dirt to stretch before putting your fingers in the grass.

Oh yeah baby, football is finally back and it’s your time to shine. This is your story. This is your rise to glory.

Every year, countless athletes train in the late summer heat for their upcoming battles in the trenches. Every team starts with a blank slate. The same record. They all share the same goal. The allure of winning it all is worth leaving it all on the field, every single day. It all begins now.

4 Key Storylines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

1. You Can Blame a Dog for the Minnesota Vikings’ Off-Field Drama

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