Patrick Mahomes Shows He’s Scared of NFL Defenders in Netflix ‘Quarterback’ Special

Patrick Mahomes

At this point, we all know who Patrick Mahomes is, right? The guy who Netflix made famous after featuring him as the sidekick to Kirk Cousins on the Quarterback series? Yeah, you remember now, he looks like Trey Lance and sounds kinda froggish? Yeah, that’s him. 

When you’re a badass dude like Patrick Mahomes, one would think there’s nothing in this world you can’t face head-on. He’s already managed to become the greatest quarterback in NFL history despite having to overcome dealing with a douchebag brother for nearly his entire life. 

Believe me, I know what that’s like, and it’s not fun. 

But Mahomes at least has a cannon for an arm, which he uses to dominate the football landscape, and he could easily step in and play baseball if he wanted, too. The rest of us don’t have these options. 

Some might think that with Andy Reid carrying him to two Super Bowl rings and the QB managing to earn one by marriage, there is nothing Mahomes is afraid of in this life. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

If there’s one major takeaway everyone realized after watching the Netflix Quarterback special, it’s that Mahomes is a complete pussy, dawg

Looking for funny fantasy football names for the Kansas City Chiefs?

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3 Wicked Washington Commanders Name Change Ideas

Washington Commanders

Nothing About The Washington Commanders Makes Sense

OK, so the Washington Commanders. That’s kinda cool. We have the Seattle Seahawks and also the Commanders, clearly a third-rate team. 

What’s that? They’re on the east coast? Oh, ok, so like Washington D.C., sure. That’s neat. 

Wait, hold on, the Washington (D.C.) Commanders’ official operations are in Ashburn, Virginia? Yet, when it’s actually time to play football, they travel over 50 miles away to Landover, Maryland, at FedEx Field? 

How does that make any fucking sense? Everyone knows Maryland is Ravens country

Obviously, Daniel Snyder’s head has been up his ass and possibly up some others too. Clearly, the biggest loser among the NFL ownership group, Snyder has finally been voted off the island after 24 years, and the world couldn’t be any happier. 

Now with the Josh Harris ownership group taking over, not only is it finally cool to be a fan of the Washington football team again, the organization is quickly trying to forget about its fugly past. 

With that, we’re already discussing a Washington name change for the third time in the past four years. If so, what are some of the best Washington Commanders name change ideas in existence? They’re right here baby. 

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Russell Wilson’s Smartwatch Reveals QB Hasn’t Slept Since End of 2022 Season

Russell Wilson

Every once in a while, you hear a rippin’ good yarn about an athlete who obsesses over perfecting their craft a tit too much. Unfortunately, Denver Broncos quarterback Russell Wilson has become the latest victim of this maddening malady. 

You know the facts. Like how he’ll spend every waking moment rehabbing, to the point where Russ graciously gallops around the team plane when no one needs any rest, relaxation, or goddamn peace and quiet. 

What an admirable competitor. This tireless dedication is exactly why Russ led the Broncos to a —checks notes— 4-11 record last season.

Nevertheless, Wilson’s nonstop ‘Let’s Ride’ mentality is a more severe case than we’ve ever caught wind of here at A Fly On The Ball. We’ve uncovered some titillating details after gaining access to data from Russell Wilson’s watch, more accurately, his Nike smartwatch.

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Sabrina Ionescu Proves She’s Basketball’s Best Shooter

Sabrina Ionescu

We’ve all heard of Larry Bird, Reggie Miller, Ray Allen, Stephen Curry, and several others when evaluating basketball’s greatest shooter of all time. But who’s the best shot-maker in basketball right now?

Move over Steph Curry, Sabrina Ionescu is now the best shooter in basketball, and after Friday’s jamboree, there’s no debating it.

For anyone with their head under a rock, Ionescu is one of many WNBA superstars. She’s also the face of the New York Liberty, who win a lot more than the Knicks do. 

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Zion Williamson Gives Up Sex To Take NBA Career Seriously

Zion Williamson

New Orleans Pelicans Superstar Also Sacrificing Oatmeal Creme Pies in Latest Display of Strength

Zion Williamson is just four years into his NBA career, and at this point, he’s known more for what he does off the court than on the waxed wood. It’s a hard but honest truth for the former No. 1 overall pick out of Duke

Williamson grinded through just 29 games last season because he was consumed with banging out the best sex tape we’ve seen since Reggie Bush teamed up with Kim Kardashian for a memorable and inspiring performance. Scouts say this explosive tale has the potential to win Oscars. 

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Aliens Arrive in Basketball-Shaped Spaceship at NBA Summer League in Las Vegas

NBA Summer League

It’s finally happened folks. Aliens are here in Las Vegas, just in time for the NBA Summer League action. But there’s no reason to worry because it turns out they’re big basketball fans too. 

Perhaps it’s time to rewatch Space Jam and reconsider the possibility that Michael Jordan and the Tune Squad teaming up with Newman from Seinfeld was indeed a true story instead of a silly fairytale meant to entertain. 

Could you imagine if Jordan actually got stuck and had to become the latest, greatest attraction on Moron Mountain? The Bulls would have never had their historic threepeat from 1996-98. Clearly, he had some additional fuel that we didn’t learn about until years later

But enough about MJ. Back to the fucking aliens man. 

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How Stephen Curry Ruined the NBA

Stephen Curry

A few people think Stephen Curry is good for the NBA, but they couldn’t be more wrong. While it’s true that Curry changed basketball, we can all agree he hasn’t positively influenced the game.

Chef Curry has completely wrecked the future of basketball. We may not see it yet, but eventually, there will be no more dunkers. The Dunk Contest? We’re already seeing it phased out. When was the last time you saw a truly jaw-dropping dunk?

It’s because no one even knows how to throw it down anymore. Think about it. The young generation is smart. They can do basic math. For everyone else, the numbers don’t quite match up. Here’s why:

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3 Things Bill Belichick Doesn’t Understand About Special Teams

Bill Belichick

Typically at A Fly On The Ball, all our content is produced by either Harvey Ballbanger or Buzz McFly. Today we have a fan submission by an M. Slater from Boston. He titled it ‘3 Things Bill Belichick Doesn’t Understand About Special Teams’. So without further ado, here is the passionate work written by a Mr. Slater from Boston. 

Left-Footed Punters Aren’t That Special

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5 Unique Stars New York Knicks Need to Trade for Next

New York Knicks

Madison Square Garden has never witnessed a true winner walk through those doors. Without one of these trades, they may never see one, especially if they continue to ignore our well-thought-out free agency recommendations. That’s the sad reality, and New York Knicks fans know it all too well.

But we won’t harp on the fact that, historically, the New York Knickerbockers are losers, with a career win rate below .500. We’re certainly not going to go on and on about how the Knicks have existed for 77 seasons yet have only won the NBA championship a measly two times. That’s a success rate of just 2.5%.

Of course, New Yorkers are the smartest, most in-touch sports fans in the entire world. I don’t need to remind them of the Knicks now having gone 50 consecutive years without winning a goddamned thing. 

It’s clear the Knicks don’t know what they’re doing when building a basketball team. They’re a developmental squad fit for the G League more than belonging with winners in the NBA.  The Knicks are the Flint City Tropics. Hands down.

Players around the association view the Knicks as a stepping stone, where players do a stint in New York, then go on to win a championship not long after, as DeAndre Jordan just did in Denver. No one actually takes the Knicks seriously. We certainly don’t and you shouldn’t either.

That’s why it’s so important for the Knicks to land one, just one, of these five players this summer. Let us know if you agree. Like the Knicks, we love nothing more than to hear from our passionate fanbase.

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Why the Portland Trail Blazers Are Better Without Damian Lillard

Damian Lillard

We asked the same question every single year with Damian Lillard on the roster. Will the Portland Trail Blazers be any good this season?

Without Lillard, there’s no question at all. The Blazers will suck balls. Accept it. Own it.

But at least we know that from the start instead of clinging for hope during the past 11 seasons of turmoil.

Now we can move on with our lives, updating our social media profiles to say “Former Blazers fan” and taking the pledge to never watch another NBA game again. 

Some may be upset, but let’s be real. It’s about damn time Dame Time is up. Let him be another franchise’s problem now.

Maybe the Blazers could even transform into the Seattle SuperSonics so NBA fans could have a team someone wouldn’t be embarrassed to root for again.

Meanwhile, it’s time to find a new hobby for the fans who won’t be included in the trade. Such is life. 

But this is YOUR opportunity to get back at your ex. Show Lillard you never relied on him for happiness to begin with. 

Besides, it’s not like the Blazers were ever winners before. Who even needed Lillard in their lives anyway!? To hell with him. The Blazers and their fanbase are much better off now than ever before.

Do you want to know what rooting for a team with Dame is like? It’s like believing a climax exists but never reaching it. Every single night. Congratulations to fans of whichever team Dame goes to, you’re about to give up orgasms for a while.

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