Why It’s Time for the Kansas City Chiefs to Leap Away from Taylor Swift

Looking back, Patrick Mahomes, Head Coach Andy Reid, and the Kansas City Chiefs have shared a lot of fond memories and success together over the years. The best part for Chiefs Nation is they are really just getting started. Mahomes has a lot left in the tank and he is already widely considered to be one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.

If you know anything about Big Red, the Chiefs head coach has a great sense of humor. For example, who could ever forget the time a reporter asked Andy Reid to describe Patrick Mahomes’ speaking voice? Coach Reid famously responded with, “Froggish”. 

Once upon a time, the Chiefs’ locker room, including Mahomes, liked to have fun with it:

Ah yes, who doesn’t yearn for the carefree days of youth before you had Super Bowl expectations riding on your shoulders every single season? Heading into the final stretch of the 2023 NFL season, those whimsical, lighthearted honeymoon days seem like a thing of the distant past for the Chiefs. 

At times, it feels like you could cut the tension in the Chiefs’ locker room with a knife. Of course, you’ll have to wait until after Andy Reid finishes eating his postgame tenderloin to cut that tension, he’s using the steak knife at the moment. Don’t worry, he’ll be done with it in about 19 minutes or less.

Unfortunately, the 2023 Kansas City Chiefs are sputtering a bit. Let’s be honest, for as much as fans want to blame Kadarius Toney, their problems run much deeper than that. Patrick Mahomes is obviously still afraid of NFL defenses and that’s not going to change until the Chiefs give Mahomes a weapon who isn’t starstruck by Taylor Swift.

Internally, it has become very clear the Swifties entourage has divided the locker room. Some guys are cool with it while others want to just get back to playing football. Most players want to see highlights of their plays in-between snaps instead of seeing Taylor Swift jumping and using profanity.

If the Chiefs are serious about winning another Super Bowl, there is only one rational move to make. The Chiefs must drop Taylor Swift immediately by banning her from Arrowhead Stadium for life. Sure, Swifties and their 87 jerseys are going to hate it, but the distraction has become too much for the Chiefs to handle.

It’s clear that Patrick Mahomes has had enough of the traveling sideshow circus. You can see Mahomes absolutely losing his mind over the Chiefs’ most recent loss to the Buffalo Bills, a loss Mahomes is not willing to shoulder the blame for. As they say, you have to shift the blame somewhere and in this case, the frustration is being directed at known Swifties who want the Chiefs to keep Swift as a superfan, such as NFL referees:

Things have gotten so bad that Andy Reid is considering hanging them up to coach a flag football team. That can’t happen. The NFL will cease to exist without Big Red. Somebody needs to get Mahomes under control before he has another meltdown on national television. Quickly. There is still time to mend these fences and get the Chiefs back on the right track.

Listen, if Mahomes and the Chiefs can string a few wins together, he will find a way to coexist with the Swifties entourage. Until that happens, you never know what kind of off-field drama might unfold for this team. These are the moments that can make or break a team’s Super Bowl chances.

Andy Reid is the only man capable of calming this storm. This is nothing compared to the media spectacle he experienced during the Terrell Owens sit ups-in-the-driveway fiasco of 2005. While Reid never won a Super Bowl as head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, he handled the T.O. distraction like a pro.

In reality, the Kansas City Chiefs are always just a ribbit away from another Super Bowl victory with Mahomes leading the charge under Skipper Andy Reid on the S.S. Arrowhead. Froggish voice or not, Mahomes can right the ship with his golden arm and competitive fire. There’s no doubt he’d appreciate a few fewer distractions to help him achieve his ultimate goal: win more Super Bowls in his career than Tom Brady did.

If all else fails, Crank Yankers can start asking Mahomes if he has Battletoads to see if they can get a reaction out of him similar to those of Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars. Here, A Fly On The Ball will get things started, Hey Patrick Mahomes, do you have Battletoads?

Nice, buddy. But we’ll take that as a no. Still a better reaction than some of these so-called prank calls:

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Buzz McFly

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Buzz McFly hears all the latest buzz through his impressive network consisting of millions of flies swarming near every pile of shit in the entire world. When shit goes down, Buzz has eyes on the scene waiting to bask in the latest filth and dirt. Growing up an avid sports fan, his credibility in the field is second to none. He comes from a long line of spectator sporting event reporters willing to lay it all on the line for a fresh scoop of the latest news before it breaks wind anywhere else.

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