Few things can spike ratings more than controversy, which is literally the only reason Skip Bayless still has a job on television. At a time when ESPN is slashing payroll faster than it takes Michael Myers to find his knife, the freakshow Bayless is somehow commanding a ridiculous salary from FOX Sports.
Skip Bayless is known for his hot takes that sound like they were schemed by a psychopathic contrarian, just to gauge reactions. In modern times, these controversial takes make waves while the entire world looks to Twitter or wherever the Scarecrow talking head is spewing his bullshit.
The irony here is that Skip actually thinks he is a well-liked guy with popular opinions. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the whole world is actually making fun of Bayless, not laughing with him.
When it comes to pretty much anything, this guy is the dictionary definition of a shithead. Here are the 4 reasons why Skip Bayless is full of shit:
1. Skip Bayless Is An Unapologetic Dallas Cowboys Fan
Every single goddamn year, there are certain Dallas Cowboys fans who assume the Blue Star has won the Super Bowl before the season even begins. Listen, there is nothing wrong with being passionate about your favorite team.
For 99% of Dallas Cowboys fans, they just want to see a great product on the field while holding Super Bowl aspirations close to their hearts. After all, in Dallas, Texas, football is a way of life. You have to respect that level of passion and dedication for the sport of football, no matter which team you root for.
Then there’s that 1% of obnoxious Cowboys fans who think the ‘Boys are destined to win at least 14 regular season games, roll through the playoffs, and hoist the Lombardi every single season. This group of uninformed fans are led by the diabolical Skip Bayless and his impossible expectations.
Even though the Cowboys have not won the Super Bowl since 1995, Skip actually thought the Cowboys were going to win the Lombardi to conclude the 2022-23 NFL Season. He was absolutely blindsided by their loss to the San Francisco 49ers on January 22, 2023. He even needed a few days to gather himself, which is probably the very first time Skip Bayless ever spent some time to think before speaking:
You may have several questions, such as, why is this 91-year-old man wearing a chain and getting plastic surgery? Is he trying to appear as though he is hip or relevant? Let’s take a poll to see what you think:
On several occasions, Skip Bayless has been seen frequenting truck stops in the Dallas County area as reported by swarms of flies. The flies report he prefers to go into the receiving end of the stall while fantasizing that every person on the other side of that glory hole is Jerry Jones himself.
This is Skip’s bread and butter, folks. It’s pretty much his full-time job at this point, considering he’s worthless at his day job. One thing is for sure, ol’ Skippy is done fantasizing about Dak being on the other side of that glory hole:
2. Skip Bayless IS the Playa Haters’ Ball President
Every single time Skip opens his mouth, he’s a hater. If you have skill of any kind in this world, Skip Bayless will hate you for it. Why? Because Skip Bayless is a no-talent ass-clown.
When you’re born without any kind of talent, you grow up to hate everybody around you. That’s why Skip became a critic in the first place. He loves to hate on playas. Since Skip has never been able to figure out how to do anything successfully, he likes to pick everyone else apart every chance he gets.
Bayless is famous for his anti-Russell Westbrook tirades and his decades-long rants about LeBron James would make you think LeGoat should have never touched a basketball in the first place. For real. That’s what Skip wants you to believe, that anybody with talent doesn’t belong anywhere near the game they love.
Congratulations, Skip Bayless, you are officially named the Skipper of the Playa Haters’ Ball. What a badge of fuckin’ honor, dipshit.
3. Skip Isn’t Even His Real Name
Nobody knows the exact reason why John Edwards Bayless II legally changed his name to Skip, but the moniker actually fits. Now, every single time you see or hear Bayless, you automatically know to skip his dumbass take and move on to somebody more knowledgeable.
Who or what are you running from, John Edward Bayless II? Did you make a bet on the Cowboys that your ass can’t cover? Or is it simply because you brought so much shame to your own father that he made you change your name to Skip? John Edwards Bayless Senior probably came up with the nickname while showing people photos of his kids.
“Well, this here’s Rick, who is an amazing chef! We are so proud of Rick and then this one is, ah, oh we just kinda skip that one…”
– Probably John Edwards Bayless Senior
4. Skip Bayless Sucks Balls at Sports
Although being an athlete is not a prerequisite for anyone who wants to work in sports media, you should probably dial your criticism back a bit if you are a complete hack on the court.
Skip Bayless attended Northwest Classen High School, where he mostly spent time riding pine. Somehow, Skip was able to manipulate his coach into giving him some playing time, where Bayless averaged a paltry 1.4 points per game his senior year. What a bum bum.
At least Russell Westbrook made it to the NBA, Skip. When people told you to grow a pair, they didn’t want you to start dishing out the harshest criticism you can think of to the 2016-17 NBA MVP. Talk about being out of touch.
Apparently it’s okay to suck balls at sports while criticizing anyone who is better than you. We’re so sorry you were always selected last for every sport you wanted to play, if you even got picked at all, Skip. Is that really a good enough reason to tell Alex Rodriguez that he sucked at baseball?
Pull your head out, man! By the way A-Rod, you are a fucking legend and you know it!
Well, Skip, you’ve certainly grabbed the attention of many athletes and you’re definitely on their shit list. There is even an entire 5-minute collage of Charles Barkley roasting Bayless endlessly:
In the newest episode of Unsolved Mysteries, Netflix is investigating the disappearance of an angry old man from a retirement community in Florida. It’s only a matter of time before somebody comes forward with information identifying Skip Bayless as the man who went missing from that retirement community.
Maybe Skip Bayless can finally return to his home so he can direct all his pent-up energy in the only way that crusty old white men know how:
Not Buzzed Enough Yet? – Proof That Roger Goodell Is Actually a Clown
Enjoyed The Laughs? Grab A Parody’s Nuts with The Official A Fly On The Ball Gear
-
Naz Reid Nazmanian Devil Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
Anthony Edwards – Northern Lights Arcade Jam ANT Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan – Unisex -
Naz Reid Nazmanian Devil Alternate Version Minnesota Timberwolves Trucker Hat – Naz Reid Hat -
Randy Moss Straight Cash Homie Meme Minnesota Vikings Jersey Shirt Kids Heavy Cotton™ Tee by Gildan -
Randy Moss Straight Cash Homie Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Vikings T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan Unisex Jersey Shirt -
Anthony Edwards – Green Moon Jam ANT Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan – Unisex -
Karl-Anthony Towns Flying KAT Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
Kevin Garnett KG He’s On Fire Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
Shohei Ohtani Anime Fire Meme Los Angeles Dodgers T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan – Unisex -
Rudy Gobert – GOBZILLA STEIFEL TOWER Meme Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
Jerome Bettis The Bus Pittsburgh Steelers T-Shirt -
Jaden McDaniels In Your Face Minnesota Timberwolves T-Shirt -
Anthony Edwards – Northern Lights Arcade Jam ANT Alternate Version Minnesota Timberwolves Trucker Hat – Anthony Edwards Hat -
Rudy Gobert – GOBZILLA Hat Alternate Version Minnesota Timberwolves Trucker Hat -
Luka Doncic Terminator Lava Meme T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan – Dallas Mavericks Jersey Shirt -
Kirby Puckett Alien Green Moon Blast Psychedelic Meme Minnesota Twins T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan Unisex Jersey Shirt -
Shohei Ohtani Anime Fire Meme Los Angeles Dodgers Jersey Shirt Kids Heavy Cotton™ Tee by Gildan -
Kirill Kaprizov Northern Nights Minnesota Wild Jersey Shirt Kids Heavy Cotton™ Tee by Gildan
-
BALLS DEEP – LET ‘EM HANG Beer Can Cooler – Carolina Panthers Black with Blue and Silver Font -
BALLS DEEP – LET ‘EM HANG Beer Can Cooler – Carolina Panthers Blue with Black and Silver Font -
LET ‘EM HANG Coaster – Carolina Panthers Black with Blue Font – Football – Cork Back Coaster -
LET ‘EM HANG Coaster – Carolina Panthers Blue with Black Font – Football – Cork Back Coaster -
BALLS DEEP – LET ‘EM HANG Beer Can Cooler – Las Vegas Raiders Black with Silver Font -
LET ‘EM HANG Coaster – Las Vegas Raiders Black with Silver Font – Football – Cork Back Coaster -
LET ‘EM HANG Coaster – San Francisco 49ers Red with Gold Font – Football – Cork Back Coaster -
LET ‘EM HANG Coaster – San Francisco 49ers Gold with Red Font – Football – Cork Back Coaster -
BALLS DEEP – LET ‘EM HANG Beer Can Cooler – Miami Heat Miami Vice Blue with Fuchsia Font
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2023 A Fly On The Ball
Buzz McFly hears all the latest buzz through his impressive network consisting of millions of flies swarming near every pile of shit in the entire world. When shit goes down, Buzz has eyes on the scene waiting to bask in the latest filth and dirt. Growing up an avid sports fan, his credibility in the field is second to none. He comes from a long line of spectator sporting event reporters willing to lay it all on the line for a fresh scoop of the latest news before it breaks wind anywhere else.
