New York Jets - A FLY ON THE BALL

Brett Favre Starring as The Mustard Man To Pay Debts Back

November 22, 2023November 27, 2023 Buzz McFly

Brett Favre Starring as Mustard Man Meme from A Fly On The Ball Final Version

John Madden’s Turducken Special

Imagine this, you work hard your entire life, amassing millions of dollars throughout your career, only to retire with nothing more than a spacious little farm in Mississippi. Now you have more land and time than you know what to do with.

In the end, retirement isn’t always the peaceful fairytale ending everyone hopes for. Just ask Brett Favre, who has had more than just a little trouble finding ways to make ends meet since retiring. That’s why you’ll see Brett Favre starring as The Mustard Man to pay debts back.

For a while there, people were not even entirely convinced Favre actually retired from football, the game that gave him everything in life. Many people still think Favre could return to his old gunslinger ways any day now, there’s no doubt he still has that old cannon locked and loaded.

Imagine Brett Favre slinging it at Lambeau again now that Aaron Rodgers is out of the picture for good. Just the thought of it makes John Madden perk up a bit from the Great Beyond, he’s grilling some bratwursts and slow-roasting a turducken outside his bus just to get ready for the big game. Rumor has it, if Favre ever decides to play again, you might be able to hear Madden calling the game through a spirit box.

John Madden's Turducken Special by A Fly On The Ball - Meme

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Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can’t Get San Francisco 49ers Balls Deep Into Playoffs

October 30, 2023December 21, 2023 Buzz McFly

Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can't Get Balls Deep

Every empire eventually crumbles, just ask the San Francisco 49ers, who literally built the framework to become the next dynasty in the NFL. They were only missing one key ingredient, a quarterback who could take the Niners to the promised land. Cue Brock Purdy, Mr. Irrelevant from the 2022 NFL Draft.

As has often been the case throughout his career, former San Francisco heartthrob Jimmy Garoppolo found himself unable to play. The teams Garoppolo plays for often mask his injuries with buzzwords such as shoulder, thumb, ACL tear, or pedal foot fracture but the reality is actually much more severe.

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NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31

October 27, 2023December 15, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

As even your girlfriend will tell you, there’s no period like the NFL trade deadline. This year, that spooky time of the month comes on Oct. 31, and as always, there are plenty of teams looking to shake up their rosters. Which NFL players are on the trade block? Who’s most likely to be traded before Tuesday’s deadline?

Here’s a fresh pile of what A Fly On The Ball’s locker room sources chewed out, including NFL players guaranteed to be traded in 2023.

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Aaron Rodgers Launching Trippindales Franchise

October 9, 2023November 19, 2023 Buzz McFly

New York’s Hottest Club Is a Steamy Ayahuasca Retreat

It’s no secret Aaron Rodgers has had a lot of extra time on his hands lately. A bit too much time, perhaps? He’s been seen frequently on the sidelines and in the luxury suites of New York Jets games this season, everywhere but on the field. Don’t worry though, he still has plenty of time to make his weekly appearance on The Pat McAfee Show, where one thing becomes very clear.

At the end of the day, the guy really just wants to play football, but unfortunately, Father Time told Rodgers to take a little time out. Since moving to the business mecca of the world, Rodgers is looking to take his marketing savvy to the stratosphere after taking a pay cut this year. In other words, Rodgers wants to be more a little more productive during his downtime.

In an effort to bolster his retirement portfolio, Aaron Rodgers is launching a brand new speakeasy-style nightclub known as Trippindales. The Grand Opening for the first Trippindales location in New York City is expected to occur sometime in the Spring of 2024. Rodgers plans on franchising the ayahuasca retreat brand to take his visions nationwide.

Beings from any dimension, galaxy, or universe are welcome to gather at Trippindales for some adult-themed entertainment complemented by a gourmet menu of exotic hallucinogens from across the multiverse. Even Rick and Morty are expected to stop by for the epic Grand Opening.

Granted, this trip is a little bit different than the journey Jets fans were expecting to experience throughout the 2023 NFL season. Their season was over after only four offensive snaps, but that doesn’t mean they have to stay grounded in reality. Rodgers wants to help them lift their spirits after being blindsided by heartbreak.

On September 11th, it was the silence heard around the world as all eyeballs watched Grandpa Rodgers falling to the ground after a viciously calculated attack. Rodgers laid helplessly in ruins, defeated by the evil turf of JetLife stadium.

Sadly, this moment proved to be the Achilles heel of the season for the Jets. This day will live on in infamy for Jets fans all over the world. Hell, even casual football fans will never forget where they were on 9/11 while witnessing the collapse of tower No. 8.

As is usually the case, Rodgers remains optimistic. After all, a true battle-tested warrior never lets a petty heel injury stop them from positive manifestation. Rodgers even has his eye on an early return to the battlefield this season thanks to an experimental SpeedBridge procedure.

The only problem with that mentality is the Jets would actually have to make the playoffs for Rodgers to make a meaningful return to the field this season. Perhaps Rodgers is mixing his ayahuasca a little too strong because the 2023 Jets are currently sitting at 2-3.

Playoffs? You kidding me? Mr. Rodgers, you play in the same neighborhood as the Miami Dolphins and the Buffalo Bills. You and the rest of your fleet of single-engine Cessnas should just worry about getting to .500 for now. Don’t talk about playoffs.

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Zach Wilson Seeks Travis Kelce’s Mom’s Number Following New York Jets’ Loss to Kansas City Chiefs

October 3, 2023May 20, 2024 Harvey Ballbanger

Zach Wilson almost shocked the world with a near victory over the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday Night Football. Wilson finally showed some spunk, looking like the former No. 2 overall pick he was drafted to be. But no one saw the New York Jets QB’s biggest play of the night, which actually came after the game ended.

A Fly On The Ball in the Jets’ facility reports Wilson stepped foot in the film room this week, knowing a special guest would be in the house. Despite the extra preparation, Wilson still had pre-game jitters thanks to a heightened desire to perform for what he hoped to be his new dime piece.

Did you think we were talking about Taylor Swift? She’s just not Wilson’s type. He’s never been a Swiftie, plus Wilson prefers a bit more seasoning on his chalupa.

Instead, Wilson had his eye on Travis Kelce’s mom, Donna Kelce, who attended the Chiefs-Jets game from a private suite at MetLife Stadium. If you look closely, you can see Wilson winking at her after each completion.

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3 Reasons Why the Buffalo Bills Will Never Win a Super Bowl

August 24, 2023December 5, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

If there’s one team that deserves to win a Super Bowl more than any other NFL franchise, it’s the Buffalo Bills, hands down. As Bills Mafia knows all too well, Buffalo has a long, storied history in the NFL’s biggest game. But it’s not a tale anyone wants to re-live.

Despite existing since the first Super Bowl was played back in 1967, the Bills have never earned a Lombardi Trophy. It’s not like they haven’t tried. The Bills have given it their all, becoming just one of two teams to lose all four times they’ve reached the final stage. Aside from maybe following the Cleveland Browns, it doesn’t get any worse than being a Bills fan.

Let’s be honest. Bills Mafia deserves a Super Bowl for their trolling alone. This is the best fanbase in football. But trophies aren’t won by fans busting their asses by launching into tables in the classiest ways. Not that the Bills would know what it takes to win anything. Even though you won’t find a team more desperate, here are three reasons why the Bills will never achieve their goal of winning a Super Bowl.

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Zach Wilson Starring in Milf Hunter and Goes Balls Deep for the New York Jets

August 7, 2023November 19, 2023 Buzz McFly

It’s no secret that Aaron Rodgers is using medicinal remedies to keep him potent for the 2023 NFL season. Ironically, Zach Wilson is starring in an adult film, Milf Hunter. Wilson literally goes balls deep into Mia Khalifa, Lisa Ann, and every anal queen you’ve ever seen. In fact, Slick Willy is literally fucking your mom’s ass right now.

It’s clear at this point, Wilson is ready to step in and fill the shoes of Rodgers when Aaron finally goes limp. Hey, Viagra eventually wears off. Just ask around.

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3 New York Jets Hard Knocks Storylines To Watch This Season

July 31, 2023September 21, 2023 Harvey Ballbanger

Every year the NFL picks one team they’d like to see get to the Super Bowl by featuring them on HBO’s Hard Knocks. Last year they wisely picked the Detroit Lions, and their Lombardi aspirations damn near came true, going from a three-win team to one with nine victories.

Now that Aaron Rodgers is ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple, we turn our attention to the New York Jets, the NFL’s next poster child. But unfortunately, he didn’t bring a Super Bowl trophy with him, and Joe Namath isn’t suiting up any time soon. In fact, Broadway Joe couldn’t care less about how the team performs. He’s made that clear while chasing other dreams.

But it’s clear to everyone within earshot of Fireman Ed that the Jets have a Super Bowl or bust mentality heading into head coach Robert Saleh’s third season as head coach. Yet it’s been 54 years since the last time the Jets won the big game, and if you really want to get technical, they’ve never won a Super Bowl in the NFL. Pretty pathetic, huh?

None of that matters because J-E-T-S Jets! fans don’t remember the past. All they care about is what’s happening this minute and the next. And what’s next is Hard Knocks. But what will the three biggest topics be during this season’s training camp special? We have all the answers.

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4 Key Storylines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

July 28, 2023September 21, 2023 Buzz McFly

4 Key Headlines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Whether you want to look forward or back in time, imagine this, it’s the buttcrack of dawn on a sunny August morning. You’re taking inventory of the skies, there’s only a few clouds in sight.

It’s going to be a hot day and you can feel it as you’re trotting across the blacktop, in your socks, on your way to greener pasture. With your cleats in one hand and your helmet in the other, there’s only one question remaining, are you ready for some football?

The freshly cut field awaits for you to seize the moment of opportunity with every drop of sweat and every ounce of effort in your body. Ladies and gentlemen, football is in the air. From high school teams all the way to the pros, it’s the time of year when dreams are made or crushed, one play at a time.

There’s a haze in the air with only a slight breeze to cool you down. The high heat hasn’t hit yet but you’re already breaking a sweat under your pads. With gnats nibbling at your ankles, you begin to dig your cleats into the dirt to stretch before putting your fingers in the grass.

Oh yeah baby, football is finally back and it’s your time to shine. This is your story. This is your rise to glory.

Every year, countless athletes train in the late summer heat for their upcoming battles in the trenches. Every team starts with a blank slate. The same record. They all share the same goal. The allure of winning it all is worth leaving it all on the field, every single day. It all begins now.

4 Key Storylines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

LET ‘EM HANG – FREE THE BALLS Beer Can Cooler – Purple with Yellow Font

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1. You Can Blame a Dog for the Minnesota Vikings’ Off-Field Drama

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Why Jordan Love Will Be the Greatest Green Bay Packers QB in Franchise History

June 26, 2023May 24, 2024 Harvey Ballbanger

Bart Starr. Brett Favre. Aaron Rodgers. What do all these Hall of Fame quarterbacks have in common? They’ve all won Super Bowls with the Green Bay Packers and are considered among the greatest QBs in NFL history. They’re true legends of the game.

The cheeseheads who gather to fart a suffocating dairy-air-infested cloud around Lambeau Field on Lombardi Avenue know this all too well. For the knuckleheads who can’t tell the difference between Colby-Jack and Monterey cheese, we have a message for you.

Despite Starr, Favre, and Rodgers collecting a combined four Super Bowl trophies, Jordan Love will be better than all of them combined. Here’s why.

Brett Favre MUSTARD MAN Psychedelic Meme T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan – Green Bay Packers

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