Sorry, Dallas Cowboys, it’s time to admit the Kansas City Chiefs have become America’s Team.
Are The Kansas City Chiefs Becoming America’s Team?
Tag: Kansas City Chiefs
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Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice
Why It’s Time for the Kansas City Chiefs to Leap Away from Taylor Swift
Looking back, Patrick Mahomes, Head Coach Andy Reid, and the Kansas City Chiefs have shared a lot of fond memories and success together over the years. The best part for Chiefs Nation is they are really just getting started. Mahomes has a lot left in the tank and he is already widely considered to be one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.
If you know anything about Big Red, the Chiefs head coach has a great sense of humor. For example, who could ever forget the time a reporter asked Andy Reid to describe Patrick Mahomes’ speaking voice? Coach Reid famously responded with, “Froggish”.
Once upon a time, the Chiefs’ locker room, including Mahomes, liked to have fun with it:
Continue reading “Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice”Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment at Miami Beach Boardwalk
The Penguin of South Beach Already Planning His Next Big Move
This just in. Reports emerging out of Miami, Florida, have several eyewitness accounts of Jaylen Waddle frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk. The star Miami Dolphins wide receiver has certainly made a name for himself in South Beach.
Since emerging from the rolling Tuscaloosa tide, The Penguin of South Beach has waddled his way to fortune, fame, and respect. It’s still entirely unclear how a penguin is able to move with such lightning-quick speed, his elusiveness continues to puzzle the defense department. It seems as though nobody can catch Waddle, slow him down, or stop him.
Since 2021, Jaylen Waddle has snagged over 236 certified airmail packages while racking up over 3,114 yards of distance, on webbed feet. Over that timespan, The Penguin of South Beach has reached paydirt 17 times and counting. That’s a lot of waddles.
In 2023 alone, authorities have already credited 57 successful swipes by The Penguin of South Beach while estimating Waddle has covered at least 743 yards with the package in his possession. They even say he’s successfully delivered on his promises for at least three jobs requiring a touchdown approach, thus adding even more valuables to his vault this season.
As for his next big move, it’s no secret that Jaylen Waddle and his crew of Miami Dolphins have their eyes on the biggest prize of them all. That’s why Waddle has been seen frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk along with his hench-penguins lately.
Continue reading “Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment at Miami Beach Boardwalk”
NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31
As even your girlfriend will tell you, there’s no period like the NFL trade deadline. This year, that spooky time of the month comes on Oct. 31, and as always, there are plenty of teams looking to shake up their rosters. Which NFL players are on the trade block? Who’s most likely to be traded before Tuesday’s deadline?
Here’s a fresh pile of what A Fly On The Ball’s locker room sources chewed out, including NFL players guaranteed to be traded in 2023.
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Continue reading “NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31”Zach Wilson Seeks Travis Kelce’s Mom’s Number Following New York Jets’ Loss to Kansas City Chiefs
Zach Wilson almost shocked the world with a near victory over the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday Night Football. Wilson finally showed some spunk, looking like the former No. 2 overall pick he was drafted to be. But no one saw the New York Jets QB’s biggest play of the night, which actually came after the game ended.
A Fly On The Ball in the Jets’ facility reports Wilson stepped foot in the film room this week, knowing a special guest would be in the house. Despite the extra preparation, Wilson still had pre-game jitters thanks to a heightened desire to perform for what he hoped to be his new dime piece.
Did you think we were talking about Taylor Swift? She’s just not Wilson’s type. He’s never been a Swiftie, plus Wilson prefers a bit more seasoning on his chalupa.
Instead, Wilson had his eye on Travis Kelce’s mom, Donna Kelce, who attended the Chiefs-Jets game from a private suite at MetLife Stadium. If you look closely, you can see Wilson winking at her after each completion.
Continue reading “Zach Wilson Seeks Travis Kelce’s Mom’s Number Following New York Jets’ Loss to Kansas City Chiefs”How Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year
Yikes. The 2023 NFL Season kicked off with an upset and it’s no secret Patrick Mahomes looks like he’s in mid-season form. He was slinging it like the MVP he is out there but somehow the Kansas City Chiefs couldn’t get balls deep in the end zone like they’re used to.
On a Thursday night season opener in a very hostile Arrowhead Stadium, the Detroit Lions came out of the locker room ready to get physical. They played hard-nosed football for 60 minutes but even they tried to give the Chiefs the game several times.
While marching down the field and shoving the football down the throats of the Chiefs’ defense during the 2023 NFL Season Kickoff Game, the Lions Goffed up a snap and somehow recovered. Then, just as Lions fans could taste the end zone, Marvin Jones Jr. Goffed up the football to give Mahomes another chance. That’s when things got a little weird.
Continue reading “How Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year”
Patrick Mahomes Shows He’s Scared of NFL Defenders in Netflix ‘Quarterback’ Special
At this point, we all know who Patrick Mahomes is, right? The guy who Netflix made famous after featuring him as the sidekick to Kirk Cousins on the Quarterback series? Yeah, you remember now, he looks like Trey Lance and sounds kinda froggish? Yeah, that’s him.
When you’re a badass dude like Patrick Mahomes, one would think there’s nothing in this world you can’t face head-on. He’s already managed to become the greatest quarterback in NFL history despite having to overcome dealing with a douchebag brother for nearly his entire life.
Believe me, I know what that’s like, and it’s not fun.
But Mahomes at least has a cannon for an arm, which he uses to dominate the football landscape, and he could easily step in and play baseball if he wanted, too. The rest of us don’t have these options.
Some might think that with Andy Reid carrying him to two Super Bowl rings and the QB managing to earn one by marriage, there is nothing Mahomes is afraid of in this life. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
If there’s one major takeaway everyone realized after watching the Netflix Quarterback special, it’s that Mahomes is a complete pussy, dawg.
Looking for funny fantasy football names for the Kansas City Chiefs?
Continue reading “Patrick Mahomes Shows He’s Scared of NFL Defenders in Netflix ‘Quarterback’ Special”Why Jordan Love Will Be the Greatest Green Bay Packers QB in Franchise History
Bart Starr. Brett Favre. Aaron Rodgers. What do all these Hall of Fame quarterbacks have in common? They’ve all won Super Bowls with the Green Bay Packers and are considered among the greatest QBs in NFL history. They’re true legends of the game.
The cheeseheads who gather to fart a suffocating dairy-air-infested cloud around Lambeau Field on Lombardi Avenue know this all too well. For the knuckleheads who can’t tell the difference between Colby-Jack and Monterey cheese, we have a message for you.
Despite Starr, Favre, and Rodgers collecting a combined four Super Bowl trophies, Jordan Love will be better than all of them combined. Here’s why.
Continue reading “Why Jordan Love Will Be the Greatest Green Bay Packers QB in Franchise History”
3 Reasons Why Dallas Cowboys Will Miss Playoffs
The 2023 NFL Season Will Be a Failure for the ‘Boys
Summer just officially began which means training camp is already less than a month away for most NFL franchises. For the Dallas Cowboys, it’s just business as usual as they are set to report to camp on July 26th in Oxnard, California. Training camp will run through August 15th for the ‘Boys, it is open to the public and completely free to attend.
Now, who’s ready for some Cowboys football? If there’s one thing you can be certain of, Jerry Jones and the entire Dallas Cowboys fan base have Super Bowl expectations. They do every single year, even though they haven’t won shit in nearly three decades.
Yet, Cowboys fans do have bragging rights to five Super Bowl wins in their impressive and rich football history. So, why shouldn’t they be optimistic? As one of the most recognizable brands in all of sports, let alone football, they know how to do a line with the best of them.
Putting aside their almost cult-like delusions, being a Cowboys fan is more like a religion than a group of fanatics. Cowboys fans don’t go to church on Sunday morning, at least not in their hearts. They certainly don’t follow Jesus unless he wears a blue star on his helmet. However, when the ‘Boys lose, real tears are shed. Dem’s the facts.
Those are real emotions because Cowboys fans are one of the most passionate groups you will find in all of sports. They care, and they want to win, like most fans. Unfortunately for all Cowboys fans, every season has been like visiting an empty Jerry Jones glory hole since the last time they hoisted the Lombardi trophy in 1996.
They sure do things differently in Texas. They say things differently too. I’ve never been to a glory hole, but it’s pretty clear this is an activity that every single Dallas Cowboys fan on the planet participates in.
In Dallas, glory holes have not only been normalized, everybody seems to be insensitive to Jerry’s long-standing obsession with getting sucked off by a stranger. Whomever it may be.
Anyway, back to football for a minute here. In recent years, there have been glimpses of promise followed by failure after failure to get the job done in the playoffs. From Dak Prescott putting up MVP-like numbers one season to looking pedestrian in 2022, the Cowboys and their fans are no strangers to riding a roller-coaster.
There have been several mishaps along the way, such as fucking up with the Ezekiel Elliot contract extension in 2019. That ridiculous six-year, $90-million contract was so bad the Cowboys cut Elliot this off-season. He’s still standing in the unemployment line. That’s how bad Jerry’s eye for talent has become.
Jones literally handed a bum 90 million dollars to go stand in the unemployment line. That’s a far cry from the dynasty Jerry built in the early 1990s by ripping off the Minnesota Vikings in the Herschel Walker trade.
Sadly, that Ezekiel Elliot contract remains a lingering problem in the NFL. It really began with Zeke’s former contract that eventually ballooned into the Christian McCaffrey nightmare that David “Zero Fucks” Tepper screwed the entire running back market over with.
But that’s in the past now as even the Carolina Panthers have moved on from CMC. Meanwhile, Dalvin Cook, Saquon Barkley, Josh Jacobs, and many others are paying the price for these terrible moves that all started with the Dallas fucking Cowboys. DEM BOYS!!!! Way to go, morons.
However, with that being said, the current Cowboys roster has some talent on it. Is it enough talent to win a few games with? Probably. If they can stay healthy at some key positions (Micah Parsons) they might even win more than five or six games. But, do the ‘Boys have enough talent to make the playoffs?
On paper, they might. However, as everybody in the suddenly-competitive NFC East knows, football games aren’t won on paper. These battles play out from the inside out. They begin in the trenches and are finished in the end zones. That’s NFC East football in a nutshell.
In reality, where everybody in the NFC East outside of Dallas resides, the Cowboys ain’t shit! If you want to know why the Dallas Cowboys will not make the playoffs in 2023, the real question is, how much time do you have?
There are countless reasons why the ‘Boys will miss the playoffs. However, A Fly On The Ball will focus on these top 3 reasons why the Dallas Cowboys will not make the playoffs:
Continue reading “3 Reasons Why Dallas Cowboys Will Miss Playoffs”
NFL Insiders Preparing for Shift to Flag Football
It’s the offseason which means the NFL has nothing better to do with their time. While twiddling their thumbs over cocktails at the annual spring meeting, team owners approved a new kickoff rule without any regard for the fans or the game itself.
The new kickoff rule essentially eliminates the return game as a weapon in special teams. Each year, the NFL takes steps to drastically reduce the chances of another Bill Belichick ever rising through the ranks by eliminating special teams altogether.
Belichick cut his teeth in the NFL as an assistant special teams coach with the Detroit Lions and Denver Broncos back in the 1970s. He continued his journey as the New York Giants‘ special teams coordinator from 1979 to 1984. Today, the entire football world pretty much agrees that Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots is the goat of NFL head coaches in the modern era, if not of all time.
However, he got his humble beginnings as an assistant special teams coordinator. If there is anybody in the entire league who understands the importance of special teams, it’s Billy Goat. Ask Belichick a question about anything related to the game that was just played and you will be stonewalled with a cold blank stare or a response so short, you’ll miss it if you blink.
However, Billy Goat once famously gave a 1,039-word response to a question about what it was like for Gino Cappelletti to kick field goals back in the 1960s. The fucking sixties, man. Billy Goat would have been a schoolboy at the time.
A friend of a friend was buzzing around one of the Super Bowl game balls on Belichick’s mantle when news broke of the kickoff rule changes. Rumor has it, his facial expression was unchanged but there was a sense of disappointment in the air to complement the stench of second-hand clam chowder fumes.
Other coaches went public with their displeasure over the rule changes. Andy Reid, the head coach of the defending Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, didn’t hold back his suspicions while addressing the press through the league-owned NFL Network.
“My thing is, where does it stop, right?” Reid said. “We start taking pieces and we’ll see how this goes. But you don’t want to take too many pieces away, or you’ll be playing flag football.”
Is there a conspiracy brewing in Roger Goodell’s favorite coffee? Big Red is suggesting there might be a plan in place to gradually shift the game toward flag football permanently. Fans are in an uproar as reported by flies hovering around fresh steamy piles all over the world. Nobody wants to see the game become more suitable for fucking pussies.
Current and former players are chiming in on the issue right now. Pat McAfee, a former punting and drunken skinny-dipping standout of the Indianapolis Colts, gave zero fucks with his on-the-record response, “It’s the most amateur, bush-league-looking bullshit I have seen in a long time when it comes to the NFL.”
This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to people who have been following the rule changes of the game over the past few decades. The NFL has essentially made grabassin’ illegal, as outgoing Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder can attest to.
In the past, other rule changes have sparked outrage amongst the most elite NFL alumni members. Other players have come out in full support of making the game as safe as possible, even if that includes bubble wrap and manicures.
The NFL’s own golden boy, Brett Favre, chimed in on the state of the game recently as well. It seems as though he supports the NFL’s eventual shift to flag football.
“You have to believe that every time a kid is tackled, that she or he is doing detrimental things to their brain that may be irreversible.” Favre continued, “That is really scary.”
When he’s not busy putting all the mustard on it, Favre still manages to stay in the headlines years after the glory of his playing days have long gone. He really can do no wrong, so it makes sense that he’s in on the conspiracy to swap the NFL rulebook out for a flag football manual.
From his upstanding off-field reputation combined with his Super Bowl winning year in Green Bay to his unforgettable season as a New York Jet, you’d have to dig really deep to find any dirt on one of the greatest cheeseheads to ever grace the gridiron. That’s probably why the league is using Brett Favre as the player safety spokesperson for their shift to flag football.
Continue reading “NFL Insiders Preparing for Shift to Flag Football”