NFL Visionary Launches Campaign to Bring Barry Sanders Back to Detroit Lions’ Backfield

Barry Sanders

Now you see him, now you don’t. It isn’t magic or grease on his jersey. That’s just the story of Barry Sanders, juking NFL defenders out of their cleats. 

Between the lines, Sanders is in his own world. Just ask John Lynch. 

Would-be tacklers thought they had the 5-foot-8 running back in their grasp, but just like Detroit Lions Super Bowl wins, Sanders always seemed to find a new way out. 

Then, one day, at the peak of his career, Sanders suddenly slipped away from the NFL for a moment, too. 

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Entire Minnesota Vikings Team Reported Missing

KIRK COUSINS BLAMES MINNESOTA VIKINGS FANS FOR SINKING SHIP - Entire Minnesota Vikings Team Reported Missing

Viking Ship Struck By Lightning On Home Turf

Before the 2023 NFL season began, if you told any Minnesota Vikings fan that they would be 0-3 after Week 3, they would have asked you what you’re smoking. After all, the Vikings went 13-4 in 2022 while boasting an impressive 11-0 record in one-score games. They even completed the biggest comeback in NFL history against the Indianapolis Colts

Then, you have to ask yourself, what kind of a team falls behind 33-0 against the 2022 Colts in the first place? That should have been the first red flag but many Vikings fans were basking in denial over being the fastest bicycle with training wheels.

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How Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

How Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs can get balls deep in that end zone this year - Kadarius Toney Drops Balls Deep Dimes On Patrick Mahomes - With Text

Yikes. The 2023 NFL Season kicked off with an upset and it’s no secret Patrick Mahomes looks like he’s in mid-season form. He was slinging it like the MVP he is out there but somehow the Kansas City Chiefs couldn’t get balls deep in the end zone like they’re used to.

On a Thursday night season opener in a very hostile Arrowhead Stadium, the Detroit Lions came out of the locker room ready to get physical. They played hard-nosed football for 60 minutes but even they tried to give the Chiefs the game several times.

While marching down the field and shoving the football down the throats of the Chiefs’ defense during the 2023 NFL Season Kickoff Game, the Lions Goffed up a snap and somehow recovered. Then, just as Lions fans could taste the end zone, Marvin Jones Jr. Goffed up the football to give Mahomes another chance. That’s when things got a little weird.

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3 Reasons Why the Detroit Lions Will Never Win a Super Bowl

Detroit Lions

Did you know the Detroit Lions are one of just two NFL franchises existing since 1946 to have never made a Super Bowl appearance? It’s pathetic but true. If you’re wondering, the Cleveland Browns are the other team mired in sadness

But being a Lions fan means you’re at rock bottom. Unlike the Browns, the Lions have existed since 1930, meaning they’ve been failing to win Super Bowls for almost 20 more years. In other words, it doesn’t get any worse than following the Lions if you’re a football fan. 

This isn’t some secret. It’s right out there in the open. The Lions are the worst franchise in NFL history, and it’s not even close. But this year is ‘different’. Detroit has a head coach with a Lion-sized chip on his shoulder and a talented roster ready to roar. It’s led to enormous expectations in The Mitten.

Detroit is looking to prove they not only deserve a chance to avoid relegation to Canada for the 95th year in a row but also that the Lions are ready to compete for the NFC North division crown. If all goes well, they could be taking their first-ever trip to the Super Bowl, but I’m here to tell you not to get your hopes up this year if you’ve somehow stumbled into being a Lions fan. Here are just three reasons why the Lions will never win a Super Bowl. 

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How the Detroit Lions Can Get Balls Deep in That End Zone This Year

How the Detroit Lions can get balls deep in that end zone - Dan Campbell Goes Balls Deep with Lions

No one will ever get balls deeper in that end zone than Dan Orlovsky in the history of the Detroit Lions. However, the 2023 Lions might actually win a few games. In fact, they almost could have had what it takes to compete for the NFC North crown.

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3 New York Jets Hard Knocks Storylines To Watch This Season

New York Jets

Every year the NFL picks one team they’d like to see get to the Super Bowl by featuring them on HBO’s Hard Knocks. Last year they wisely picked the Detroit Lions, and their Lombardi aspirations damn near came true, going from a three-win team to one with nine victories. 

Now that Aaron Rodgers is ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple, we turn our attention to the New York Jets, the NFL’s next poster child. But unfortunately, he didn’t bring a Super Bowl trophy with him, and Joe Namath isn’t suiting up any time soon. In fact, Broadway Joe couldn’t care less about how the team performs. He’s made that clear while chasing other dreams.

But it’s clear to everyone within earshot of Fireman Ed that the Jets have a Super Bowl or bust mentality heading into head coach Robert Saleh’s third season as head coach. Yet it’s been 54 years since the last time the Jets won the big game, and if you really want to get technical, they’ve never won a Super Bowl in the NFL. Pretty pathetic, huh?

None of that matters because J-E-T-S Jets! fans don’t remember the past. All they care about is what’s happening this minute and the next. And what’s next is Hard Knocks. But what will the three biggest topics be during this season’s training camp special? We have all the answers. 

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Manning Infant Signs Largest NIL Deal in Sports History

Manning

When you know, you know. That’s the case with the latest golden arm to drop out of the womb. That’s right. There’s another Manning in town.

First, it was Archie Manning. Then came his sons Peyton and Eli Manning. Later, the grandson, Arch Manning, son of Cooper. Now another legend has been crafted.

Sure, this newest Manning may still be in the infant stage, but he’s already under the spotlight, thanks to signing the largest Name, Image, and Likeness (NIL) endorsement deal in sports history. 

The actual terms of the agreement have not yet been disclosed, but it’s clear we have another winner here, folks. The five-star recruit is already projected to be the No. 1 pick in the 2044 NFL Draft by the Cleveland Browns or Detroit Lions if they’re still allowed to continue their attempt at avoiding their first Super Bowl appearance. 

Yet, there’s always hope of this Manning phenom pulling an Eli power move, refusing to play for such a shitty franchise like the Los Angeles Chargers.

For now, all we can do is plan to save up for front-row tickets to all his football sporting events. It is not yet known which elementary school he will attend, but you can imagine the enticing offers he’s already considering from programs across the nation.

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4 Key Storylines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

4 Key Headlines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Whether you want to look forward or back in time, imagine this, it’s the buttcrack of dawn on a sunny August morning. You’re taking inventory of the skies, there’s only a few clouds in sight. 

It’s going to be a hot day and you can feel it as you’re trotting across the blacktop, in your socks, on your way to greener pasture. With your cleats in one hand and your helmet in the other, there’s only one question remaining, are you ready for some football?

The freshly cut field awaits for you to seize the moment of opportunity with every drop of sweat and every ounce of effort in your body. Ladies and gentlemen, football is in the air. From high school teams all the way to the pros, it’s the time of year when dreams are made or crushed, one play at a time.

There’s a haze in the air with only a slight breeze to cool you down. The high heat hasn’t hit yet but you’re already breaking a sweat under your pads. With gnats nibbling at your ankles, you begin to dig your cleats into the dirt to stretch before putting your fingers in the grass.

Oh yeah baby, football is finally back and it’s your time to shine. This is your story. This is your rise to glory.

Every year, countless athletes train in the late summer heat for their upcoming battles in the trenches. Every team starts with a blank slate. The same record. They all share the same goal. The allure of winning it all is worth leaving it all on the field, every single day. It all begins now.

4 Key Storylines Entering 2023 NFL Preseason

1. You Can Blame a Dog for the Minnesota Vikings’ Off-Field Drama

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NFL Insiders Preparing for Shift to Flag Football

NFL Flag Football

It’s the offseason which means the NFL has nothing better to do with their time. While twiddling their thumbs over cocktails at the annual spring meeting, team owners approved a new kickoff rule without any regard for the fans or the game itself.

The new kickoff rule essentially eliminates the return game as a weapon in special teams. Each year, the NFL takes steps to drastically reduce the chances of another Bill Belichick ever rising through the ranks by eliminating special teams altogether.

Belichick cut his teeth in the NFL as an assistant special teams coach with the Detroit Lions and Denver Broncos back in the 1970s. He continued his journey as the New York Giants‘ special teams coordinator from 1979 to 1984. Today, the entire football world pretty much agrees that Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots is the goat of NFL head coaches in the modern era, if not of all time.

However, he got his humble beginnings as an assistant special teams coordinator. If there is anybody in the entire league who understands the importance of special teams, it’s Billy Goat. Ask Belichick a question about anything related to the game that was just played and you will be stonewalled with a cold blank stare or a response so short, you’ll miss it if you blink.

However, Billy Goat once famously gave a 1,039-word response to a question about what it was like for Gino Cappelletti to kick field goals back in the 1960s. The fucking sixties, man. Billy Goat would have been a schoolboy at the time.

A friend of a friend was buzzing around one of the Super Bowl game balls on Belichick’s mantle when news broke of the kickoff rule changes. Rumor has it, his facial expression was unchanged but there was a sense of disappointment in the air to complement the stench of second-hand clam chowder fumes.

Other coaches went public with their displeasure over the rule changes. Andy Reid, the head coach of the defending Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, didn’t hold back his suspicions while addressing the press through the league-owned NFL Network.

“My thing is, where does it stop, right?” Reid said. “We start taking pieces and we’ll see how this goes. But you don’t want to take too many pieces away, or you’ll be playing flag football.”

Is there a conspiracy brewing in Roger Goodell’s favorite coffee? Big Red is suggesting there might be a plan in place to gradually shift the game toward flag football permanently. Fans are in an uproar as reported by flies hovering around fresh steamy piles all over the world. Nobody wants to see the game become more suitable for fucking pussies.

Current and former players are chiming in on the issue right now. Pat McAfee, a former punting and drunken skinny-dipping standout of the Indianapolis Colts, gave zero fucks with his on-the-record response, “It’s the most amateur, bush-league-looking bullshit I have seen in a long time when it comes to the NFL.”

This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to people who have been following the rule changes of the game over the past few decades. The NFL has essentially made grabassin’ illegal, as outgoing Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder can attest to.

In the past, other rule changes have sparked outrage amongst the most elite NFL alumni members. Other players have come out in full support of making the game as safe as possible, even if that includes bubble wrap and manicures. 

The NFL’s own golden boy, Brett Favre, chimed in on the state of the game recently as well. It seems as though he supports the NFL’s eventual shift to flag football.

“You have to believe that every time a kid is tackled, that she or he is doing detrimental things to their brain that may be irreversible.” Favre continued, “That is really scary.”

When he’s not busy putting all the mustard on it, Favre still manages to stay in the headlines years after the glory of his playing days have long gone. He really can do no wrong, so it makes sense that he’s in on the conspiracy to swap the NFL rulebook out for a flag football manual.

From his upstanding off-field reputation combined with his Super Bowl winning year in Green Bay to his unforgettable season as a New York Jet, you’d have to dig really deep to find any dirt on one of the greatest cheeseheads to ever grace the gridiron. That’s probably why the league is using Brett Favre as the player safety spokesperson for their shift to flag football.

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