Are The Kansas City Chiefs Becoming America’s Team?

Kansas City Chiefs

Sorry, Dallas Cowboys, it’s time to admit the Kansas City Chiefs have become America’s Team.

Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment at Miami Beach Boardwalk

Jaylen Waddle Awaiting Important Shipment At Miami Beach Boardwalk Meme Post Version

The Penguin of South Beach Already Planning His Next Big Move

This just in. Reports emerging out of Miami, Florida, have several eyewitness accounts of Jaylen Waddle frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk. The star Miami Dolphins wide receiver has certainly made a name for himself in South Beach.

Since emerging from the rolling Tuscaloosa tide, The Penguin of South Beach has waddled his way to fortune, fame, and respect. It’s still entirely unclear how a penguin is able to move with such lightning-quick speed, his elusiveness continues to puzzle the defense department. It seems as though nobody can catch Waddle, slow him down, or stop him.

Since 2021, Jaylen Waddle has snagged over 236 certified airmail packages while racking up over 3,114 yards of distance, on webbed feet. Over that timespan, The Penguin of South Beach has reached paydirt 17 times and counting. That’s a lot of waddles.

via GIPHY

In 2023 alone, authorities have already credited 57 successful swipes by The Penguin of South Beach while estimating Waddle has covered at least 743 yards with the package in his possession. They even say he’s successfully delivered on his promises for at least three jobs requiring a touchdown approach, thus adding even more valuables to his vault this season.

As for his next big move, it’s no secret that Jaylen Waddle and his crew of Miami Dolphins have their eyes on the biggest prize of them all. That’s why Waddle has been seen frequenting the Miami Beach Boardwalk along with his hench-penguins lately.

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Lawrence Taylor Nominated for Snowtime Achievement Award

Lawrence Taylor Nominated for Snowtime Achievement Award Meme New York Giants Memes FINAL VERSION

Highlights From Accomplished NFL Career Cements Prestigious Honor For LT

If you are lucky enough to remember the 1986 Super Bowl Champion New York Giants, then Lawrence Taylor needs no introduction to you. LT was an absolute wrecking ball throughout the 1985 season on the football field. Sadly, many fans still don’t understand the toll that championship season had on Taylor.

New York Giants head coach Bill Parcells assembled a stellar staff of coaches for the 1985 NFL season, including pegging Bill Belichick as his defensive coordinator. 1985 was Belichick’s first season as the defensive coordinator of the Giants, he had already been a linebacker and special teams coach with Big Blue since 1979 up to that point.

Of course, much of Belichick’s rapid ascension in the NFL’s pecking order can probably be attributed to Lawrence Taylor’s otherworldly performance on the field. Despite Belichick’s massive success since those days, that fact has not been lost on old Bill over the years.

To this day, Bill Belichick still insists Lawrence Taylor is the greatest defensive player in the history of the NFL. Who are you to argue with the GOAT of modern head coaches? Even if you tried to make a case for somebody else, you’d lose all credibility debating against Belichick wearing a hoodie with the sleeves ripped off like a dollar store special. To quote Kendrick Lamar, “Sit down. Be humble.”

You don’t have to be a football guru to see Lawrence Taylor played like a man possessed by something on the football field. Just check out any LT highlight reel while you do a little line dancing of your own so you can feel the impact of every bone-crunching big hit.

Lawrence Taylor Big Hit Meme
Think you could handle a big hit from Lawrence Taylor?

If you want proof that cocaine fueled Taylor to a Hall Of Fame football career, it’s all right here. As a personal hero of mine, LT’s story inspires me to seek a big ol’ pile of blow to land in and see if a goddamn fly can make it in the NFL. It’s time for old Buzz McFly to hit the shake weight room.

Lawrence Taylor Shake Weight Meme
Official Lawrence Taylor Shake Weight Endorsement Photo Shoot

Unfortunately, according to Taylor, Buzz McFly wouldn’t get away with it:

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Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can’t Get San Francisco 49ers Balls Deep Into Playoffs

Noodle-Arm Brock Purdy Can't Get Balls Deep

Every empire eventually crumbles, just ask the San Francisco 49ers, who literally built the framework to become the next dynasty in the NFL. They were only missing one key ingredient, a quarterback who could take the Niners to the promised land. Cue Brock Purdy, Mr. Irrelevant from the 2022 NFL Draft.

As has often been the case throughout his career, former San Francisco heartthrob Jimmy Garoppolo found himself unable to play. The teams Garoppolo plays for often mask his injuries with buzzwords such as shoulder, thumb, ACL tear, or pedal foot fracture but the reality is actually much more severe.

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NFL Trade Deadline Sources: Players Most Likely To Be Traded by Oct. 31

NFL trade deadline

As even your girlfriend will tell you, there’s no period like the NFL trade deadline. This year, that spooky time of the month comes on Oct. 31, and as always, there are plenty of teams looking to shake up their rosters. Which NFL players are on the trade block? Who’s most likely to be traded before Tuesday’s deadline? 

Here’s a fresh pile of what A Fly On The Ball’s locker room sources chewed out, including NFL players guaranteed to be traded in 2023. 

Searching For Funny Fantasy Football Team Names?

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How the Dallas Cowboys Can Get Balls Deep in That Jerry Jones Glory Hole This Year

How the Dallas Cowboys Can Get Balls Deep in That Jerry Jones Glory Hole This Year

Dak Prescott is promising he isn’t going to throw any interceptions anymore. That should help. The Dallas Cowboys would also be wise to avoid glory holes if they really want to let ‘em hang.

To reach paydirt this season, the Dallas Cowboys need to make Zack Martin happy. What’s going on there?

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Dak Prescott Guarantees Fans He Will Not Throw ANY Interceptions This Year

Dak Prescott Guarantees Fans He Will Not Throw ANY Interceptions This Year

Dak Prescott Throws Dallas Cowboys Receivers Under Bus

It’s that time of year when football is in the air because training camp is almost here. Are you ready for some football? Dak Prescott sure is. In fact, Dak is ready for the season to begin today, he’s already in mid-season form in his own mind.

Hell, he probably thinks he’s in the best shape of his life. We’re not sure what kind of fairy dust the Dallas Cowboys are snowing upon their players this season but it sure has them feeling invincible.

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The REAL Story Behind The Saquon Barkley Contract Situation

Saquon Barkley New York Giants Contract Update

Get the Latest Saquon Barkley Contract Updates Here

With the NFL deadline for players to sign their franchise tag tenders fast approaching, there are plenty of rumors circulating around Saquon Barkley. As one of the most dynamic running backs in football, everyone in the league is paying close attention to how this situation plays out.

As of the time this article was published, Saquon Barkley still has not signed his franchise tag offer or a long-term deal with the New York Giants. In the past, he has made it clear that his desire is to work out a long-term deal with the Giants. As far as everyone can tell, that feeling is mutual.

Any tagged player who does not sign a multiyear deal with their team by July 17 at 4 pm ET is kind of left between a rock and a hard place. By NFL rules, any unsigned tagged player must either play the 2023 season under the franchise tag terms or be forced to forfeit the tag’s guaranteed salary by electing to sit out the season.

Although it would be a massive disappointment for both football and Giants fans to be deprived of a hangry Saquon terrorizing defenses on Sundays, you shouldn’t be pointing fingers at Barkley if that becomes a reality.

There’s a lot of leaks that happen when it comes to contract disputes. All of these so-called leaks have origins, just not sources anybody is willing to attach their names or reputations to. That’s when you know the rumors swirling are mostly bullshit or fueled by an agenda that has nothing to do with the negotiations or players and teams involved.

When it comes to the contract dispute between the Giants and Saquon, you are dealing with two extremely professional sides of the negotiation table. These are classy people on both sides of the table.

There is no way Saquon and his representatives are leaking anything because where would that get them? Nobody is trying to win a publicity stunt here. There’s too much loyalty at stake.

Historically, the Giants tend to keep things behind closed doors. Joe Schoen certainly doesn’t have interest in publicly ruffling the feathers of one of the team’s most beloved current players. It’s a lose-lose for either side to leak any kind of story regarding these negotiations. Especially one painting the other party in a negative light.

So, why are there caps swirling from nearly every talking asshole with an opinion regarding Saquon Barkley’s contract negotiations? Half the time, you have talking heads spewing opinions as facts that mislead most of the public.

The other half of the time, you have fans with extremely selective hearing or limited comprehension skills. They hear, read, and regurgitate every sports story with their own unique spin on it. After that, stories tend to take on a life of their own.

Trolling fans and the bullshit they spread online are literally the biggest source of fake news on the entire planet. They really ought to be ashamed of themselves. Who would ever resort to circulating fake news or false rumors on the internet? Damn trolls!

However, uninformed fans with a penchant for putting a little English on the ol’ spin aren’t the only ones to blame. There certainly have been some wild negotiation stories spreading from the tweets heard between the sheets.

However, if you want the real story behind the Saquon Barkley contract situation, you’ll need to check your security clearance at the door. If you somehow lost your clearance badge, don’t worry, we’ve had A Fly On The Ball behind the scenes, ready with the full scoop.

There are primarily three factors behind why the New York Football Giants and Saquon Barkley are struggling to come to terms. None of it has to do with greed, at least not on Saquon’s part. That dude has already earned every penny he has coming to him and then some.

The first reason Saquon and the Giants haven’t reached a deal yet is because…

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4 Reasons Why Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit

Skip Bayless Is Full of Shit

Few things can spike ratings more than controversy, which is literally the only reason Skip Bayless still has a job on television. At a time when ESPN is slashing payroll faster than it takes Michael Myers to find his knife, the freakshow Bayless is somehow commanding a ridiculous salary from FOX Sports.

Skip Bayless is known for his hot takes that sound like they were schemed by a psychopathic contrarian, just to gauge reactions. In modern times, these controversial takes make waves while the entire world looks to Twitter or wherever the Scarecrow talking head is spewing his bullshit.

The irony here is that Skip actually thinks he is a well-liked guy with popular opinions. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, the whole world is actually making fun of Bayless, not laughing with him.

When it comes to pretty much anything, this guy is the dictionary definition of a shithead. Here are the 4 reasons why Skip Bayless is full of shit:

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Proof That Roger Goodell Is Actually a Clown

Roger Goodell is Stokoe the Clown

From getting booed at every single NFL Draft to drawing the ire of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, it’s clear that absolutely nobody in the entire world respects or likes Roger Goodell. It seems as though other NFL owners are beginning to form a coup against Goodell as Jolly Roger’s welcome is wearing thin.

Appointed as the commissioner in 2006 by default, Goodell literally fell ass-backward into the sport’s most elusive gig: being the ultimate ball-licker to billionaires. Have you ever tasted the salty sweetness of billionaire balls? Well, Roger Goodell has, and he keeps lining up for more.

When legendary Hall of Fame commish Paul Tagliabue retired in 2006, a massive void was left behind. There was no doubt it was going to be impossible to fill Paul’s shoes. From 1989 to 2006, he oversaw one of the greatest eras in the history of football. 

During this time, Paul allowed the John Madden video game franchise to raise the sport to new heights forever. That move alone catapulted football in front of baseball as America’s new favorite pastime, and nobody is interested in looking back anymore. Once steroids left baseball, people stopped watching.

However, the NFL is not as dumb as they look. They had a plan grooming for Paul’s eventual replacement long before Tagliabue ever became the commish. This leads us to the very first of three conclusive pieces of evidence providing proof that Roger Goodell is actually a clown:

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