Listen, the Houston Oilers have not been balls deep in any end zone since 1996. That’s pathetic. If Oilers fans want to change that, there is a path to redemption. You may think the very notion of the Oilers ever scoring a touchdown again is asinine, but believe it or not, the door is not completely closed.
First things first, Houston needs to start marking their goddamn territory. Show the world that Houston has that dawg in them. Then, Rocket Town needs to take their team back. The truth is out there: the Tennessee Titans belong to Houston. Everyone knows that. Until that happens, Houston, we have a problem.
Fuck the Houston Texans. There is a reason why they struggle to gain a national following. Nobody outside of Texas wants to root for the fuckin’ Houston Texans. Facts are facts. Here’s an idea, let the Texans move.
Why not make the lame-ass Texans the Mexico City Diablos? Now that’s a sexy team. Give them sweet fuckin’ uniforms with a kickass logo for the first time in their existence. Maybe they will even gain some fans, remember those? The Texans don’t even know what fans are.
Then, move the Tennessee Titans back to Houston to make things right. Things have gotten so delusional that Nashville is literally trying to steal the Oilers plus their throwback uniforms and legacy from the city of Houston. What’s up with that? Here’s the proof:
The Oilers are back, baby, complete with their sweet sky blues. Just, not in Houston. It’s time to change that. If you do, Warren Moon, Earl Campbell, and Eddie George will even come out of retirement to help Derrick Henry get balls deep in that end zone so the Houston Oilers can finally let ‘em hang. Guaranteed.
With Mike Vrabel’s defense, this team is ready to win right now. Sadly, Ryan Tannehill can’t get balls deep. Poor guy can barely get it up anymore. The truth is, Malik Willis could benefit from a tutor who can actually show him how to be great. Why not shoot for the Moon?
Strike gold, Houston. Bring the Oilers back to get balls deep and reach paydirt. Besides, you know the McNair family wants to build prisons, not championship football teams. It’s time to get back to drillin’ for liquid gold so you can realistically dream about letting ‘em hang again.
Maybe you can even convince Arch Manning to play for the Houston Oilers. Why not give it a shot? The first step, Houston, is admitting you have a problem. It’s often said that this is the most difficult step to take.
Let go of the Texans. They are bad for international branding, which is definitely not good for the city of Houston. It’s time to get serious about marketing. Go with the Houston Oilers. You won’t regret it. Neither will the NFL or its long-term revenue goals.
This decision would be good for business. If the NFL does not make this move, they could go the way of fossil fuels. Complete extinction.
As for the Tennessee Titans, let Nashville keep the Titans’ name and likeness. The current fanbase loves football but they hate the product on the field. Give them a wake-up call by making them an expansion franchise rather than a relocation team. Just ask the current Cleveland Browns and Houston Texans how expansion teams work out.
Titans fans, you deserve this misery for all your complaining. You are going to miss Mike Vrabel and King Henry like hell. You might even realize Tannehill wasn’t so bad. Browns fans can tell you all about that.
Stay tuned for more bullshit. Roger Goodell is still a clown. Just imagine, Warren Moon back in Oilers blue. It’s Super Bowl or bust, Houston. Let’s Go Oilers! Welcome to the NFL, the parody gift that keeps giving the whole year.
Searching For Funny Houston Texans Fantasy Football Team Names?
Searching For Funny Tennessee Titans Fantasy Football Team Names?
Not Buzzed Enough? – How the Dallas Cowboys Can Get Balls Deep in That Jerry Jones Glory Hole This Year
Enjoyed The Laughs? Grab A Parody’s Nuts with The Official A Fly On The Ball Gear
-
BALLS DEEP – LET ‘EM HANG Beer Can Cooler – White with Oilers Light Blue and Red Font -
BALLS DEEP Coaster – White with Oilers Light Blue and Red Font – Cork Back -
BALLS DEEP – LET ‘EM HANG Beer Can Cooler – Oilers Light Blue with Red and White Font -
BALLS DEEP Coaster – Oilers Light Blue and Red Font – Cork Back
-
BALLS DEEP Trucker Hat – Novelty Mesh Trucker Cap – One Size Fits Most Melons – FOOTBALL -
LET ‘EM HANG – BALLS DEEP Football T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
BALLS DEEP Whiskey Glass – FOOTBALL -
NOODLE-ARM BROCK PURDY CAN’T GET BALLS DEEP Hoodie – Unisex Gildan Heavy Blend™ Hooded Sweatshirt -
NOODLE-ARM BROCK PURDY CAN’T GET BALLS DEEP San Francisco 49ers T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
NOODLE-ARM MAC JONES CAN’T GET BALLS DEEP Hoodie – Unisex Gildan Heavy Blend™ Hooded Sweatshirt -
NOODLE-ARM MAC JONES CAN’T GET BALLS DEEP New England Patriots T-Shirt Heavy Cotton Tee Gildan -
Noodle-Arm Mac Jones Can’t Get Balls Deep Coaster – New England Patriots White with Blue and Red Font – Football – Cork Back -
Noodle-Arm Mac Jones Can’t Get Balls Deep Beer Can Cooler – New England Patriots Silver with Blue and Red Font
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2023 A Fly On The Ball
Buzz McFly hears all the latest buzz through his impressive network consisting of millions of flies swarming near every pile of shit in the entire world. When shit goes down, Buzz has eyes on the scene waiting to bask in the latest filth and dirt. Growing up an avid sports fan, his credibility in the field is second to none. He comes from a long line of spectator sporting event reporters willing to lay it all on the line for a fresh scoop of the latest news before it breaks wind anywhere else.
