Category: Football

🪰 Come Get A Parody’s Nuts With A Fly On The Football 🏈 The Latest Football Sports News As Heard By A Fly On The Ball 💩

Deshaun Watson Diagnosed With Tennis Elbow From Chronic Masturbation

Harvey Ballbanger
Deshaun Watson

The Cleveland Browns have a big problem on their hands, and we’re not talking about the fear their massage therapist has to deal with at work. Two years ago, the little brown elves traded three first-round picks, two thirds, and a fourth-round selection for Deshaun Watson. It ended up being arguably the worst trade in NFL history. 

Watson was supposed to be a savior for a franchise that couldn’t tell the difference between a quarterback and a leprechaun on mushrooms. The Browns even made history by drafting the oldest player ever in the first round of the NFL Draft, a 28-year-old baseball player. 

Continue reading “Deshaun Watson Diagnosed With Tennis Elbow From Chronic Masturbation”
Post Views: 22

Chicago Bears Privately Admitting Caleb Williams Is A Bust

Harvey Ballbanger
Caleb Williams, Caleb Williams Is A Bust

Caleb Williams Is A Bust, And The Chicago Bears Know It

So, you think Caleb Williams is a generational talent, do ya? You couldn’t be more wrong. 

There’s a new cub in town, and it goes by Caleb Williams. Unlike the bear John Candy wrestled with in The Great Outdoors, this furry creature isn’t very grand. But don’t tell that to the Chicago Bears. 

For reasons no one can understand, the Bears are acting as if they’ve already won the Super Bowl. Many of them, actually. 

Continue reading “Chicago Bears Privately Admitting Caleb Williams Is A Bust”
Post Views: 31

Sean Payton Auditions for Elton John Cover Band

Buzz McFly
Sean Payton's Elton John Cover Band meme

During the 2023 NFL Season, Denver Broncos head coach Sean Payton made a bold fashion statement with his Elton John glasses. In case you’re wondering why he decided to wear such outlandish frames, it’s because he loves sitting back and playing piano like a “Candle in the Wind”.

Continue reading “Sean Payton Auditions for Elton John Cover Band”
Post Views: 468

Are The Kansas City Chiefs Becoming America’s Team?

Harvey Ballbanger
Kansas City Chiefs

Sorry, Dallas Cowboys, it’s time to admit the Kansas City Chiefs have become America’s Team.

Continue Reading"Are The Kansas City Chiefs Becoming America’s Team?"

Kirk Cousins Rap Album Leaks Vikings Diss Tracks

Harvey Ballbanger
Kirk Cousins

Did you really think Kirk Cousins wanted to leave the Minnesota Vikings for the Atlanta Falcons solely for football reasons? You’d be out of your mind to believe Kirko Chainz willingly passed up on the opportunity to keep playing with Justin Jefferson just because of the dollar bills, y’all. 

That’s not what happened at all. 

See, what the bigwigs like Adam Schefter, Ian Rapoport, and Dianna Russini will never tell you is that Cousins had ulterior motives. 

Quick, name one rapper who hails from Minneapolis. Exactly, you’re not worthy. But naming one who found success in Atlanta is easy. Whether you pick OutKast, Ludacris, or T.I., there are several rap legends from the ‘A.’ 

Now, Kirk Cousins is taking his rap career to the next level, hoping to become the latest, greatest rapper to ever emerge out of the Dirty South. Despite his appearances, Cousins isn’t just some geek off the streets. He’s handy with the steel if you know what I mean. He’s earned his keep, but now he’s bringing his hot bars to Atlanta, and he’s got his target aimed squarely at his old squeeze, the Minnesota Vikings. 

Continue reading “Kirk Cousins Rap Album Leaks Vikings Diss Tracks”
Post Views: 296

Douchebag Company Makes Sean Payton New Face of Franchise

Harvey Ballbanger
Sean Payton

Denver Broncos news and rumors don’t point to a Sean Payton firing, but that shouldn’t taint anyone’s offseason. Like a good yeast infection, the Broncos are learning Coach Payton is hard to get rid of. 

Two years ago, the Broncos made Russell Wilson their franchise quarterback. Denver had plans of reaching the Super Bowl, but they felt they didn’t have the right coach for the job. Then, a guy who won a Lombardi fell into Denver’s lap, and the Broncos couldn’t resist the urge to splurge.

Continue reading “Douchebag Company Makes Sean Payton New Face of Franchise”
Post Views: 1,297

Bill Polian Was Right About Lamar Jackson + How To Make the Baltimore Ravens the NFL’s Best

Harvey Ballbanger
Lamar Jackson, Bill Polian, Baltimore Ravens

Lamar Jackson is an MVP, but one of the biggest issues plaguing the Baltimore Ravens during the superstar’s NFL career is a lack of elite receivers. Sure, Justin Tucker scores more points than anyone. But aside from Mark Andrews and Zay Flowers, Jackson doesn’t really have anyone to throw to.

The solution is obvious and Hall of Fame scout, GM, and Super Bowl champion Bill Polian nailed it years ago when discussing Jackson’s NFL Draft prospects. Here was Polian’s wise advice. 

Continue reading “Bill Polian Was Right About Lamar Jackson + How To Make the Baltimore Ravens the NFL’s Best”
Post Views: 1,183

Is Big Bird Coaching Atlanta Falcons?

Buzz McFly
Is Big Bird Coaching Atlanta Falcons Arthur Smith meme post Final version

How Arthur Smith and Arthur Blank Are Giving Art a Bad Name

It’s never a good look when you lose to the worst team in football. Not only did the Atlanta Falcons fall to a Carolina Panthers team that would be hard-pressed to compete in the SEC, the Dirty Birds appear to have been grounded for good. Let’s face it, this Atlanta Falcons team is built to compete in an era before the forward pass was even legal.

Ask any bird or fly for that matter. It’s impossible to take off with clipped wings. The Falcons couldn’t move the ball through the air even if they wanted to. There have been plenty of Monday morning armchair general managers who want to blame the Atlanta Falcons quarterback room, but that just isn’t fair.

The real reason why the Falcons can’t get airborne has nothing to do with Desmond Ridder’s lack of talent, inability to read a defense, or go through his progressions. Rumor has it that Falcons head coach Arthur Smith is afraid to fly. Smith’s clear fear of flying is the primary reason he doesn’t even have a dedicated quarterbacks coach on his staff in 2023.

Just like Big Bird, Arthur Smith doesn’t have the wings or aerodynamic body type required to achieve flight. Both Big Bird and Arthur Smith have the beak and the aftermarket bug shield in place, by all accounts, they look like birds. Yet, something seems off. Something just isn’t quite right here.

Bigbird One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others GIFfrom Bigbird GIFs
Continue reading “Is Big Bird Coaching Atlanta Falcons?”
Post Views: 244

George Costanza Interviews for Los Angeles Chargers General Manager Vacancy

Buzz McFly
Chargers Interview George Costanza For General Manager Vacancy Meme George Costanza Interviewing for Los Angeles Chargers General Manager Vacancy Meme Post Version

George Costanza Set To Prove He Is Penske Material Once and for All

In an effort to head into retirement on a high note, former New York Yankees assistant to the traveling secretary, George Costanza, is currently flying en route to Los Angeles. Costanza feels he has one more dream job left in him before calling it a career and the Los Angeles Chargers want to hear his plans for turning the franchise around.

It’s no secret Costanza has always been curious about what the West Coast has to offer. At times, George thinks he wants to get away from the bustle of the Big Apple to see if he could ever fit in with the cool kids out west. A lot of people don’t realize this, but George Costanza is actually a bit of a bad boy:

Continue reading “George Costanza Interviews for Los Angeles Chargers General Manager Vacancy”
Post Views: 216

Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice

Buzz McFly
Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice Meme with Sea of Taylor Swift Swifties Zombies

Why It’s Time for the Kansas City Chiefs to Leap Away from Taylor Swift

Looking back, Patrick Mahomes, Head Coach Andy Reid, and the Kansas City Chiefs have shared a lot of fond memories and success together over the years. The best part for Chiefs Nation is they are really just getting started. Mahomes has a lot left in the tank and he is already widely considered to be one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.

If you know anything about Big Red, the Chiefs head coach has a great sense of humor. For example, who could ever forget the time a reporter asked Andy Reid to describe Patrick Mahomes’ speaking voice? Coach Reid famously responded with, “Froggish”. 

Once upon a time, the Chiefs’ locker room, including Mahomes, liked to have fun with it:

Continue reading “Andy Reid Says Patrick Mahomes Has Froggish Voice”
Post Views: 206